ALABAMA'S FINEST....SOME FRIDAY FUNNY....(PLEASE WATCH)

WHITE IGNORANCE AT IT'S BEST.....

LET THE CIRCUS BEGIN....Two self-conscious stars, one NFL team....

CINCINNATI -- A year after they were featured on HBO's "Hard Knocks," the Bengals have scripted their own reality show.

T.O. and Ocho. Two self-conscious stars, one NFL team.

The Bengals forged an interesting marriage by agreeing to a contract with Terrell Owens. This will mark the first time Owens and fellow flamboyant receiver Chad Ochocinco are on the same team, creating a potential circus atmosphere for Cincinnati, writes James Walker.

How will they fit? How will it work? Which receiver will provide most of the drama?

And, more important, will any of it help the Bengals get back to the playoffs?

The Bengals and receiver Terrell Owens agreed to a two-year, $2 million deal, a league source told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter on Tuesday.

A league source tells ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter the deal also includes another $2 million in incentives. Owens could earn $333,000 each for passing the following milestones: 60 catches, 100 catches, 900 receiving yards, 1,300 receiving yards, 10 touchdowns and 14 touchdowns.

The Bengals were Owens' first choice, giving him a chance to team with close friend Chad Ochocinco, who has already dubbed the pair Batman and Robin. The Bengals made an offer on Monday, and Owens accepted a day later.

Players are required to report for the start of training camp on Wednesday in Georgetown, Ky. Owens is expected to show up when workouts begin on Thursday, a person familiar with the situation told The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because the team had made no announcement.

On his Twitter account, Owens replied to Ochocinco late Tuesday: "Ocho Uno is coming 2 town!! Hey Robin, Batman will b there soon!" He's expected to sign his deal when he arrives in Georgetown.

Already, it's like something out of a reality show.

Ochocinco gushed about the matchup on his Twitter feed, welcoming Owens and joking that "all of our games have been moved to pay-per-view, you got to pay to see this."

Both of the look-at-me receivers are accustomed to cable.

By adding the 36-year-old Owens, the Bengals will lead the NFL in reality show stars. Ochocinco competed on "Dancing With the Stars" in the offseason, and has a dating show called "Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch" currently running on VH1. After Ochocinco's show comes "The T.O. Show."

Ochocinco's last show involved eliminating two contestants. Owens' last program had him walking down a runway as part of a fashion show in metrosexual attire -- bare chest under an open jacket with a huge necklace and a wig.

In a couple of days, it will be the dancer-and-dater on one side of the field, the metrosexual model on the other.

In the middle will be quarterback Carson Palmer, who helped bring Owens to Cincinnati. Palmer worked out with Owens in California and called coach Marvin Lewis, saying the team ought to try to sign him.

"He and Chad are going to do some great things with Carson," said Drew Rosenhaus, the agent for both receivers. "Carson Palmer had a lot to do with this deal coming together."

Bengals owner Mike Brown went along, even though he knew Owens also brings a lot of baggage. The outspoken receiver has a history of undercutting his quarterbacks, though he was on good behavior last season in Buffalo.

Brown doesn't mind. He has a history of providing extra chances to players who have caused trouble, allowing them to extend their careers in Bengals stripes. In the last two years, the Bengals also have signed receiver Chris Henry, running back Cedric Benson, running back Larry Johnson and receiver Matt Jones, all of whom were let go because of off-field issues.

"Yes, people can make mistakes," Brown said at the team's preseason luncheon on Monday. "It doesn't mean that they go on the rest of their lives making mistakes. They can get their ship pointed in the right direction. This is a 36-year-old man. He's been through a lot. He's proven as a player and as a person."

The question is how much he has left.

Owens caught 55 passes for 829 yards and five touchdowns with the Bills last season, his least-productive full season since early in his career with San Francisco. The Bengals are trying to upgrade a passing game that was one of the NFL's worst last season, ranking 26th.

The Bengals won the AFC North by relying on defense and their running game. They released receiver Laveranues Coles after his only season in Cincinnati, and went looking for a replacement. They gave Owens a tryout in March, but decided to sign Antonio Bryant to a four-year deal instead.

Brown had a one-on-one meeting with Owens and came away impressed. When the receiver was still available as camp was opening, Brown decided to add him, as well.

Owens was hoping for the offer.

"The Bengals have always been the front-runner," Rosenhaus said. "Even though I talked to some other teams during this process, the Bengals have always been the team that showed the most interest. Terrell has always been excited about them."

Rosenhaus also has talked to the Bengals about a contract extension for Ochocinco, who is on the final year of a deal that includes a team option for 2011.

"We've been in discussion potentially about doing an extension," Rosenhaus said. "So we'll keep that going. It's been very cordial, very positive."

WEDNESDAY INSPIRATION....GOTTA LOVE IT

THE DREAM IS A FUCKING "DUMMY"...HERE IS MORE PROOF....

(WHO LOOKS THIS FUCKING GOOD WORKING OUT)

SOME TUESDAY FUNNY....EVERYBODY NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH SOMETIME

TOO MUCH EGO FOR ONE TEAM....

Aw how sweet… Terrell Owens wants to play football with his butt buddy Chad Ochocinco… Details below:

According to TMZ reports:

Still unemployed wide receiver Terrell Owens told us just how far he’d cut his salary to play for the Cincinnati Bengals – saying he’d play for “half” of what he made last year with the Buffalo Bills.

We spoke to T.O. yesterday in L.A. – and he told us he definitely wants to play for a contender (and alongside his buddy Chad Ochocinco) — but the money’s got to be right too. Owens made $6.5 million last year in Buffalo.

As TMZ first reported on Friday – T.O. remains very close to a deal with the Bengals, and if the two sides can agree on money he could be in Cincy for the start of training camp on Thursday.

They think they want to play on the same team, but there’s no way the Bengals have enough room on the roster for both these guys egos!

sidenote:a co-worker (a white female) stated these two look gay and like lovers...her words, not mine

SOME THURSDAY WTF....NO COMMENT...

LETTER FROM AN IDIOT WHO HAS NON SEXUAL GAY SEX.....

I am a black male that God has given a special gift to. Like the Etoro tribesmen of New Guinea, I am 100% heterosexual but I have sex with other men for spiritual reasons. When I ejaculate in man’s rectum, I impart my spiritual essence and strength to this man. I’ve tried to explain this to the women I date but they accuse me of being either bisexual or homosexual. They don’t understand that this is a spiritual mission and does not make me any less heterosexual or good marriage material. I belong to the Temple of Black Masculinity, we are over 45,000 deep and we follow the writings of Prophet Masculinity that teaches us that this gift is sacred and should be honored, However, many of us find that women simply don’t appreciate or make an effort to understand.

Do you have any advice on how we can make women better understand?

Good day, to you! Thank you for writing in and sharing your story. Your question: do you have any advice on how we can make women better understand? And the answer is, no. However, you should absolutely disclose this part of your life with the women you date. That’s nothing any woman wants to discover or find out months down the line so the only suggestion would be to let it be known from the gate. Give the women you date the option to exit on the strength that you have unprotected sex with men regardless of the rhyme or reason.

Being that you do engage in sexual intercourse with men, many woman would have legitimate concerns. Based off what you described, is it safe to assume that you’re having unprotected sex with these men? Who are the men you have sex with? Are they wiling participants or is this something you do with other members of your group? Is this “spiritual” engagement done in private or is it some sort of ritual? How are you heterosexual but aroused by a man? What is the general mission of your practice? Who is this “Prophet” Masculinity person and how did you become his “follower?” Were you initiated by means of being the recipient of said rectal penetration? These are just a few of the questions anyone would ask because the idea sounds far-fetched, outrageous and vile, quite frankly.

Quite the secret society you’re a part of, no? There is little-to-no accessible information available on your temple and its teachings so how do know no one’s made an effort to understand? The only way to understand is to talk to you and/or your affiliates but folks want to do things on their own time and terms. So if anyone were remotely open to dating you but wanted to do their own research, there’s nothing to reference! Do you see how that could send a someone running for the hills? It’s unsettling.

FROM: BOSSIP.COM

THE REAL "TEFLON DON" VS. THE FAKE.....

The family of the Real “Teflon Don” John Gotti, has expressed outrage at the former corrections officer for using the former mob boss’ name for profit or fame.

This is not the first or the last time this fraud has helped himself to someone else’s identity. A judge recently dismissed a lawsuit against Ross by former crack dealer Ricky “Freeway” Ross, who accused the rapper of hijacking his name and image.

Rick Ross is a man with very low self-esteem who lives in a fantasy world where he assumes the identities of real gangsters who are larger than he will ever be.

Ross has lied about his real background for years. He lied about working as a corrections officer despite the fact that the state produced his official time cards proving he punched a clock in an officer’s uniform. Ross lies about his past mainly because his past is boring and doesn’t fit in with his grandiose fantasies of the drug lord he wishes he really was.

According to the NY Daily News, the family of the former mob boss John Gotti is upset that Ross, real name William Leonard Roberts II, decided to name his album Teflon Don. “Teflon Don” was mob boss John Gotti’s nickname because the Feds couldn’t make any of their drug and organized crime charges stick.

The Miami rapper should have gotten the okay from his family first, Carmine Agnello, 24, told the Daily News Tuesday.

“My grandfather paid his dues for that nickname. That was my grandfather’s life,” Agnello said.

SMALL WORLD.....

Six degrees of separation (also referred to as the "Human Web") refers to the idea that everyone is at most six steps away from any other person on Earth, so that a chain of, "a friend of a friend" statements can be made to connect any two people in six steps or fewer.

HOT TO TELL IF YOU ARE CUTE, SEXY OR PRETTY.....

CUTE
Generally speaking, when I describe a woman as being “cute” there’s something youthful or playful about her. Maybe she dresses real casual in jeans and tee or keeps her hairstyle basic; whatever the case she gives off a vibe that’s more laidback than sophisticated. A lot of times petite and short women fall into this category for me, too. That’s not to say that cute is bad or anything because you have to be attractive to be cute, but there’s more of an urge to pinch her cheeks than her butt. Well, sometimes. You know who’s “cute” to me? Jessica Alba, Lauren London and Malinda Williams.

PRETTY
When it comes to “pretty;” that’s usually a term reserved for a woman with just a stunning face. Someone I could stare at for hours as if her cheekbones were chiseled out of sun-baked marble and her skin glowed like a solar eclipse. A pretty woman is a definite looker, but there’s a tad more edge to her than her cute counterpart. You know who’s “pretty” to me? Jill Scott, Kelly Rowland and Gabrielle Union.

SEXY
As expected, a woman that’s called “sexy” just radiates sexual energy. It could be her irresistibly pouty lips, a pair of hypnotizing brown eyes or as simple as the way she saunters into a room. This woman just has that “it” factor that causes you to constantly undress her with your eyes and let your imagination run wild. You know who’s “sexy” to me? Keri Hilson, Rihanna and Kerry Washington.

SOME WEDNESDAY FUNNY....THIS CLOWN IS FUNNY AS HELL

NOTE TO CHRISTINA....I HOPE YOU SIGNED YOUR PRE-NUPE

THIS IS WHAT FUCKING FOR TRACKS GETS YOU....

THE MEANING....LET IT BURN....

"Burn" is about breakup in a relationship, and the public referred to it as an allusion to Usher's personal struggles.

"Burn" was considered a "window to Usher's inner thoughts", along with the controversial track "Confessions" and "Confessions Part II". The song is about breakups and ending relationships. According to Matt Cibula of Popmatters, "Burn" is constructed from "two-step concept". In the lyrics "You know that it's over / You know that it was through / Let it burn / Got to let it burn", Usher breaks up with his woman but found her sad about feeling bad about what happened to their relationship. However, Usher says that she must deal with it before she can accept the truth. For the lines "It's been fifty-eleven days / Umpteen hours / I'm gonna be burnin' / Till you return", the direction changes after Usher realized that breaking up with her was a huge mistake and that he wanted her back to him.

WHO WAS THIS MEANT FOR? IS THIS MESSY?

OPEN LETTER TO CLEVELAND FANS FROM A SORE FUCKING LOSER....

Statement from Cavaliers majority owner Dan Gilbert addressed to Cleveland fans in the aftermath of LeBron James announcing he plans to sign with the Miami Heat:

___

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight.

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much and deserve so much more.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER 'KING' WINS ONE"

You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.

The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....

Dan Gilbert

Majority Owner

Cleveland Cavaliers

50 CENTS THOUGHTS ON SEAN PUFFY COMBS....(I AGREE 100%)

“Diddy, well, the thing about it is, Puffy’s like a b*tch,” said 50 during the interview. “To describe Puffy in one word is a ‘b*tch.’ Right? Puffy wants to be the hot b*tch in the group.”

“You know how you see a hot b*tch -- I know it sounds kinda harsh but I’ll explain my statement,” continued Fif. “You know how an ugly b*tch always has pretty friends? That’s how he’s built his group. He wants to be the hot b*tch in the group. He wants to make sure he gets all the attention. He wants to make sure the n*ggas wanna holla at him.”

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN FATHERS AREN'T AROUND.....REAL MEN PLEASE STEP UP AND BE MENTORS....

BOYS, BOYS AND MORE BOYS....