NO MAN WHOULD EVER APOLOGIZE FOR HAVING A GREAT MOTHER......

Anyone who reads this blog knows how important my mother is to me, so when I’m done with today’s post, I’m not reading the comments. And Mom, I know you’re reading this too, so I suggest you avoid reading the comments section as well. I want people to comment freely, but admittedly, this is a sensitive subject. The only reason I’m writing about it is because well, I’d be lying if I were to write about anything else. This is all I’m thinking about.

If I had it my way, my Mom would not need to transfer one dime over into my account. The only type of support I would ever need from her would be emotional and motivational. But that’s not my reality, and I don’t think it’s ever been if I can be completely honest.

The older I got, the more disappointed I became in myself for receiving help from my mother in any way. Because I’m her first born, she’s always doted on me, always went above and beyond any measure to help me out. Just the other day, we were casually talking about cooking, and I said I needed a sautée pan in my life. It was just a casual observation, there was no hidden hint in my tone, nothing to suggest a dire need for such a thing. And two days later in my inbox was a link to zappos.com and a sautee pan, I ignored it until my mom called me later that day and asked me if I saw it. When I told her I did, she asked me what I thought and if I wanted her to order it. I had to explain to her I didn’t need it right away and if I do I’ll try to get it on my own.

So that is just the most recent example of what type of mom I have. She is, as my friend described to me, a “mom’s mom”. Maybe it’s the Puerto Rican woman in her, or maybe she is just like a million other mothers who want to see her children happy and will do everything, even things like offer to buy a sautee pan, to see that happen. I really don’t know what it is, but I know I’m not about to make any apologies for it.

A woman I once dated said my mom enables me. I had to look that word up. Then I went off. When I was a kid, a friend of mine once said my mom spoils me, and I responded by punching him in the face. I’m one of those guys who can crack “your mama” jokes with the best of them, so go ahead and bring on your own, but the minute a person starts saying anything about me and my mom’s relationship or what kind of mother my mom is towards me, I’ll fight. And I know that may come off as defensive, but everyone has their fighting words, right? Any words on the relationship between my mother and I are mine.

The criticism that irks me the most is when it comes from the opposite sex. Even when I hear women talk about other men and their relationships with their mothers, something about their tone makes me want to shut them up. A woman who has something to say about the relationship my mother has with me never lasts long in my life primarily because I don’t think my mom is ever going to change, and therefore the criticism will never cease. I’ll be damned if I spend the rest of my life with someone who has a problem with a woman who will support me for the rest of her life.

I think some women get it confused. They don’t know the difference between a mama’s boy and a mother’s son. A mama’s boy is a classic case of the Oedipus complex. He wants his mom to be his woman and no one else to have her. A mother’s son wants his mother to find a man to make her happy if she doesn’t have one. Before my mom met my step-dad met, I never gave her a hard time when she went out on a date. If anything, I spent many a night praying she would find someone who gave her the happiness she deserved because I knew one day I, the lone man in the house, would be gone. A mother’s son does everything he can to make sure his mom is happy not just being his mom, but being her own woman.

A mama’s boy is someone who needs their mother for everything, whereas a mother’s son, needs his mother when he has no one else to turn to.

When I told my sister about my recent job situation, she told me to tell my mother almost immediately, but I wanted to get everything as squared way as I could, before I did so. I wanted to understand what kind of position I was in, assess my potential prospects and figure out what it would take for me to support myself. Once I had all that squared away, then I told my mother, and of course, nothing I said made her feel comfortable with the idea of me not having a job, but I told her it would be okay. I promised her it would be, and as her mother’s son, I’m going to do everything short of selling drugs to see that I live up to the promise. But if I can’t, after I have exhausted the possibilities, I will have no problem letting my mother know, and why should any woman in my life have a problem with that? No, it doesn’t make me feel good to ask my mom for some help, but why must a woman feel the same way? Your man, yes, but my mom.

If men have to deal with women who had fathers that weren’t there, women have to deal with men who have mothers that were. I don’t say that to be mean or to be cruel, but in some way or another, we’re all affected by our parent’s shortcomings, and we bring those issues into our relationship, unfairly so. And I’m wondering, when we actually have no issues with our parents, when we were raised by parents who loved us hard when we were growing up and continue to do so has adults, what’s the beef then? Why is it a problem? If I date a woman who has a father who dotes on her or a mother who does, I don’t get jealous, I step up to be an addition to that support system.

When it comes to taking care of me, I would never bother comparing my mother’s treatment of me to my woman’s. I don’t want my woman to do anything like my mother except for maybe cook tacos like her. Other than that, she’s free to be the woman she wants to be. But when that times comes for us to have a family together, I will hold my children’s mother to the standard by which I was raised. And I would even apply the same standard to myself. I can’t let all that good parenting I was raised under go to waste!

Right now, nothing in my career is where I want it to be, ditto for my finances. Things are about to get real, and it’s going to be a struggle for me. I have no plans at all to lean on my mother to get myself out of the mess I’m in, but if my mom decided to do so, I’ll be damned if I make any apologies for it. I’m my mother’s son. Get over it.

from:http://untiligetmarried.com

ART IN LIVING COLOR.....FAR AWAY

YOU KNOW YOUR AN 80'S BABY WHEN YOUR MOMS GOT YOU THESE.....

Highlights for Children (referred as simply Highlights) is an American children's magazine. It began publication in June 1946, started by Garry Cleveland Myers and his wife Caroline Clark Myers in Honesdale, Pennsylvania (the present location of its editorial office). They both worked for another children's magazine, Children's Activities, for 12 years before leaving to start Highlights. The company is presently based in Columbus, Ohio, and owns book publishers Zaner-Bloser and Boyds Mills Press. Highlights has surpassed a billion copies in print.

CLASSIC FEEL GOOD MUSIC...THROWBACK....

Breaking Up, What It Feels Like For A Man.....(sad but TRUE)

Here’s the first thing we do

Not give a f*ck.

Then cry.

Or not.

But definitely go off on someone for no reason.

Like at all.

If it was one of those really bad breakups.

Something like one of us got caught doing something we shouldn’t have been doing.

We hurt.

Whether we’re the victim or the culprit.

We hurt.

So now it’s recovery time.

Putting the pieces back together, trying to make sense of the mess we made time.

Here’s how a man does it.

We play a lot of Madden and think about how when we were with our girl, we played a lot of Madden.

At least Madden doesn’t talk back.

Sometimes it doesn’t let us beat a team we know we’re better than, but that’s a different kind of pain.

Back to the pain of dealing with a break up.

It’s something women never think about. Never think a man is hurting.

They be thinking we actually wanted to be single.

On some, “Isn’t that what every man wants?” type deal.

We fight to stay together

She be like

Watch

Soon as gets through this, he’s going to enjoy his freedom.

First drunk night he has

Watch

First drunk night he has, he wants to drunk dial her and say “F*ck you”

The only reason why I’m out in these streets drinking

And buying drinks for girls with last names I don’t know

Is because of you

Just because he’s not in bed, sick, doesn’t mean he’s fine.

Usually around 10:00 pm, it gets bad.

He knows he’s not about to get any sleep for a good five hours.

He be thinking about her one minute.

He be thinking about how to not think about her the next.

You women need to understand.

Dudes may like to be single.

But dudes don’t like breaking up.

Not ever.

FROM: http://untiligetmarried.com

GOOD LOOK FOR TYLER PERRY....ALEX CROSS IS THE MAN....

Tyler Perry has signed on to play the role of Alex Cross -- the crime-solving D.C. detective in James Patterson's seemingly never-ending series of popular novels -- in a new movie called "I, Alex Cross."

The Wrap and other outlets have confirmed the news, which gives Perry a high-profile starring role in a movie that is not a Perry production. Until now, the filmmaker has primarily tackled two major movie parts: Terry, the perfect husband in his "Why Did I Get Married?" movies, and Madea. You know Madea. She hosted a family reunion. And later, she went to jail. (For the record, Perry also appeared briefly in J.J. Abrams's "Star Trek.")

So can Perry pull off Alex Cross, a role previously played onscreen by Morgan Freeman in "Kiss the Girls" and "Along Came a Spider"? And in a related question, what happened to Idris Elba, who at one time looked all set to take on the investigative role? He even sounded kind of excited about it during an interview over the summer, but apparently the deal must have fallen apart.

ADDITIONAL INFO ON ALEX CROSS-

Cross is an African-American detective and psychologist living and working in the Southeast quadrant of Washington, D.C. He works in the homicide division of the Metropolitan Police Department of the District of Columbia (MPD), but eventually becomes a Senior Agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). After his stint with the FBI, Alex returns to private psychology practice, but continues to consult for the MPD and the FBI as needed, ultimately rejoining the MPD as a special consultant to the Major Case Squad.

Patterson portrays Dr. Cross as a lonely individual, yet he is a model father and is quite empathetic in dealing with the public. Despite the fact that he is well-educated and makes a decent living, he chooses to continue residing in the Southeast quadrant of D.C. He is very involved in the community, most notably volunteering at St. Anthony's Parish in his neighborhood.

BLACK MEN.....WE ARE NEEDED IN THE CLASSROOMS...

U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan and film director Spike Lee hosted a town hall meeting at Morehouse College Monday and asked African-American male students to seriously consider careers teaching in the nation’s public schools.

Duncan and Lee’s request was part of a broader national teacher recruitment campaign, called TEACH, created by the Department of Education to celebrate and recruit more diverse, highly qualified teachers.

Think about this: Only 1.7 percent of the nation’s 4.8 million public school teachers are black men. Most black boys may never be educated by someone who looks like them, and sadly, some African-American boys will never experience a black male role model in their public school classrooms.

A solution to this crisis is long overdue.

Lee, a graduate of Morehouse, shared his history with education and discussed why African-American male teachers are needed in classrooms today. He told the audience that he is part of a Morehouse legacy: His grandfather graduated Morehouse in 1927, and his father in 1951. His grandmother taught art in Georgia for 50 years and never had a white student because of Jim Crow.

During slavery, Lee reminded, it was a crime to teach black slaves to read and write. “If you were caught, you could be whipped, castrated or hung. And if the massa was having a bad day, it could be all three,” he said.

Too many black teens see only three career paths, Lee said: Sports, rap music or the streets. “Our vision is so narrow,” he said. “Black children have to see more options.”

Monday's town hall meeting comes a week after President Barack Obama's call during his State of the Union address for more Americans to become teachers. And since less than 2 percent of the nation's teachers are African-American males, it made sense for Duncan and Lee to engage black male students, who will soon join millions of other Americans in their search for jobs.

The TEACH campaign encourages more minorities, especially males, to pursue careers in the classroom. Nationwide, more than 35 percent of public school students are African-American or Latino, but less than 15 percent of teachers are.

“With more than 1 million teachers expected to retire in the coming years, we have a historic opportunity to transform public education in America by calling on a new generation to join those already in the classroom,” Duncan said in a statement.

“We are working with the broader education community to strengthen and elevate the entire teaching profession so that every teacher has the support and training they need to succeed," he said. "Education is the great equalizer in America and the civil rights issue of our generation. If you care about promoting opportunity and reducing inequality, the classroom is the place to start.”

Following the town hall meeting Monday, Duncan and "The Tom Joyner Morning Show" contributor Jeff Johnson announced a five-year national initiative to recruit, train and place 80,000 African-American male teachers in classrooms by 2015.

Public school teaching is not for everyone – and, in some cases, not for the faint of heart. Some black men will choose careers that offer heftier paychecks; some won’t have the patience to deal with students and maddening bureaucrats, and others don't want to work in America’s inner cities because of high crime. It’s not politically correct – but it is true.

But Duncan is on a mission. Earlier this year, Duncan visited several historically black colleges and spoke directly with African-American male students about public school teaching. It’s a bold initiative – and comes at a critical time for black America.

“People ask why black males are struggling," Duncan said in an earlier interview with BlackAmericaWeb.com.

“I’ve talked to the first lady about it. I plan to visit black colleges and talk to freshmen and sophomores. I want to talk to them about a call to service."

The bottom line is this: The public school system has failed black males. The graduation rate for African-American boys is abysmal; many black male students drop out early, and they are expelled at a much higher rate than white students. Black boys make up nine percent of public school enrollments, but 20 percent of those identified as mentally challenged.

Some black parents voted for Obama, in part, because they were hoping he could reform America’s troubled public school system and help improve the quality of education for black males.

Duncan, the Obama administration – and now Spike Lee - are trying to bridge the obvious educational divide in America the only way they know how: By appealing directly to young black men, city by city, college by college.

It’s certainly worth the effort.

JUST ONE OF THOSE MOODS....

READING THIS MADE ME REALIZE EVEN MORE.....I LOVE AND CHERISH MY OWN FAMILY.....

So tonight, I leave from my annual holiday visit with my family in California and head back to New York City. For those who follow me on Twitter or see me on Facebook, you can probably tell I had the time of my life. Since I only visit my family once a year, I usually make the trips extended stays. This year was no different, as I’ve been here since December 16.

But now, it’s time to go back to the city I call home. Leaving isn’t bitter sweet. I look forward to going back, being my own man, sleeping in my own apartment, and seeing all my friends, some of whom I also consider family. The other reason I’m leaving with a smile on my face? I have finally lived to see the day when my family is in full bloom.

My peers and I, we’ve become impatient.

All of us.

We want the partner, the house, the kids, all of it right now. But we didn’t wake up with that desire, it’s been in us for years. Like I said a few months ago when I turned 29, I thought by now I’d be fathering at least my first kid, had the high-paying dream job, and the wife to come home to. But here I am, 29 with a low-paying dream job, no kids, and not one hint of a wife in my vicinity. If someone told me 10 years ago that this was the life I would be living, I’d probably be a little disappointed. That’s not what I saw for myself, not what I ordered.

But today, it’s what I have, and I’m not mad about it at all, nor am I in some sort of rush to get there, wherever there is. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the family I have today, it’s that what we want to have may be a lifetime away from us.

The thought occurred to me last week, while I laid sick in bed. It was there I heard a sound unfamiliar coming from the living room. It was the sound of my family and they sounded like something out of The Cosby Show. It was so foreign to me, I almost didn’t recognize it. But when I realized I wasn’t dreaming or going delirious from a fever, I smiled to myself.

My family has been through it all: divorce, unexpected death, separation, feuds, and so many more things that I’m sometimes surprised we didn’t end up on a daytime talk show with all our drama. I grew up seeing family members fight each other, curse each other out, and get their hearts broken.

Even my house, the one I grew up in, is drastically different today from what it was when I lived here full time. It was, much like our family, under constant repair. For years I walked on undone floors, a weeded backyard, and stained carpets. It wasn’t a ran-down shack by any means, it was just constantly unfinished, in need of this and that, almost like a permanent fixer-upper.

But now my house is complete, and what’s so cool to me is, my family is a reflection of it. Not to say we’re finished, but we’ve definitely come full circle.

When I look at my mom and see her sitting on the couch next to my step-dad, a man she met only a few years ago, I think of how long it took for her to get there.

When I look at my younger sister be a mother to my six-month old niece, I think of how many babies she used to take care of for other people, and how long it took for her to get there.

When I see my grandmother be a great-grandmother to my niece, I think of how long it took for her to get there.

When I see my niece’s father make baby faces to his daughter, when I see his son from a previous relationship open up presents alongside my family because he’s in our family too, I think of how long it took for them to get there.

When I take a picture of my grandmother, my mom, my sister, and my niece sitting together at breakfast, I think of how long it took for them to get there.

When I step into a store at the mall with my mom, my sister, my step-dad, and my niece, I think of how long it took for me to get there.

All of this is not to say we were without for so many years. For so many years, it was just me, my mom, and my sister living in this house, and we were definitely a strong family, but much like the house we lived in, we were under construction, adjusting to adjustments we never asked for.

It took my whole life to see those smiles, to see these people, to have this family, and I’m only 29, my sister 26. My grandmother had to wait until her 80s. My mother, her 50s. My step-dad, his 40s. It took them their whole lives too, but hey, we’re all here now. As I like to say, it’s not all blood, but it is all love.

Now when I come home to my mom and step-dad’s house, it looks finished, nothing like the house I grew up in and everything like the house I would love to have a family in. When I fly back home tonight, I know the place I’m going to is both figuratively and literally thousands of miles away from the place I just left, but I’ll get there one day. Even if it takes me a lifetime, I’ll get there, and once I arrive, I won’t think of how long it took me. I’ll be too busy enjoying where I end up.

FROM: http://untiligetmarried.com

CLASSIC EDDIE MURPHY....GOTTA LOVE HIM....

WORD OF THE DAY....EPIPHANY....

("manifestation, striking appearance") is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something.

MINISTERS STEP UP AFTER UNREST IN INDIANAPOLIS....

Alarmed at a recent spate of gun violence, a group of black ministers today called for a “violence-free February” as a way to commemorate Black History Month.

“Let us stop using violence to settle conflicts,” said the Rev. Charles Harrison, chairman of the Ten-Point Coalition, a clergy group.
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“No violence, no street justice, no murders, no revenge killing,” Harrison said. “Let us build a community of peace.”

The preachers were joined by Mayor Greg Ballard and the city’s top police officers, Public Safety Director Frank Straub and Paul Ciesielski, chief of the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department.

Ballard noted that crime in Indianapolis is down, but that it needs to be lower still. “There’s another level the city wants to get to,” he said.

Straub struck a darker note. “This is a time of shame and sorrow in our city,” he said, noting there were 13 homicides this month, including the shooting death last week of IMPD Officer David Moore.

The ministers urged churches to erect the message “No Guns, No Violence,” on their signboards to promote their campaign. But violence is not caused by guns, Straub said. “Violence is about the absence of respect.”

Harrison announced two upcoming meetings to address the matter, on Feb. 15 and Feb. 28. The first meeting would take place at the Indianapolis Urban League between the ministers, law enforcement officers, and business, civic and religious leaders.

The second meeting will be at the Indiana Historical Society, and parents will be invited to hear discussions about parental responsibility.

I STILL HATE TEXTING....2011 EDITION...

I dislike texting, prefer hearing the persons voice and think you get a better understanding of the conversation and feel it's pointless UNLESS you are in a meeting and can not pick up the phone for a quick second....that said, If I communicate with you ONLY via text, YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO ME.

SOME INSPIRATION AND FEEL GOOD MUSIC ALL IN ONE.....

THE MORE THE MERRIER......

SOME MONDAY INSPIRATION....

Some pursue happiness, others create it.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT....

Having great qualities does not qualify you to be a great "catch"....especially if those qualities are not beneficial to the intended.

PETA GOES EVEN HARDER.....AGAIN

PETA COMES WITH IT....

IT'S OFFICIAL....A STAR IS BORN....HERE NAME IS WILLOW

We told you earlier that the Broadway/Hollywood classic Annie was being remade by Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's Overbrook Entertainment, starring Willow Smith. Now it's official.

How fab! It's official that Will and Jada Pinkett Smith have decided to produce a remake of Annie starring their daughter ten-year-old Willow Smith. The film will be made by Overbrook Entertainment, which the Smiths co-own, along with Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter and Sony Pictures.

As you might remember, the movie tells the story of little orphan Annie whose life is transformed when she goes to live with the wealthy industrialist Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks. This is one of my favorite movies so I'm interested to see Willow bring her swagger to "Maybe," "Hard Knock Life" (if included) and "Tomorrow."

FROM: YBF

NEW SCHOOL VS. OLD SCHOOL....WHO RAN THIS.....

REMEMBER THE 80'S...ALWAYS ON POINT

WHEN MUSIC WAS MUSIC......THROWBACK.....

FOOD FOR THOUGHT....

WHY GET MAD AT THE PERSON BRINGING YOU THE NEWS, GET MAD AT THE PEOPLE MAKING IT HAPPEN.

CLASSIC....FEEL GOOD MUSIC....