I CAN'T MAKE YOU LOVE ME.....GET INTO THE LYRICS....

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
inside my head

Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close,
don't patronize

Don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't

I'll close my eyes
then I won't see
the love you don't feel
when you're holding me

Morning will come
and I'll do what's right
just give me till then
to give up this fight
and I will give up this fight

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't

FAMOUS AFRO-LATINOS SPEAK.....

YOU GOTTA LOVE A PRESIDENT THAT CAN SING.....WE DOING IT AGAIN IN 2012....

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO SAY THANK YOU.....

HERE'S TO YOU....SHIRLEY HORN..

No complaints and no regrets.
I still believe in chasing dreams and placing bets.
But i have learned that all you give is all you get, so give it all you got.
I had my share, i drank my fill, and even though i’m satisfied i’m hungry still
To see what’s down another road, beyond a hill and do it all again.
So here’s to life and all the joy it brings.
Here’s to life the dreamers and their dreams.
Funny how the time just flies.
How love can turn from warm hellos to sad goodbyes
And leave you with the memories you’ve memorized
To keep your winters warm.
There’s no yes in yesterday.
And who knows what tomorrow brings or takes away.
As long as i’m still in the game i want to play
For laughs, for life, for love.
So here’s to life and all the joy it brings.
Here’s to life, the dreamers and their dreams.
May all your storms be weathered,
And all that’s good get better.
Here’s to life, here’s to love, here’s to you.
May all your storms be weathered,
And all that's good get better.
Here's to life, here's to love, here's to you.

REAL THOUGHTS ON 3 SOMES.....INTERESTING

SERENITY PRAYER BREAKDOWN....

When I first started being a source of advice for friends and family, I would sit and think about things for a few days and then come up with some strategy that we could possibly take over the world. It took me a long time to realize that the core of most of the advice that I always gave came from the Serenity Prayer. Now, many times when people come to me for advice, I spend most of the time listening to what they have to say and trying to tap into their understanding of each part of what they have to say. I ask questions like, “Well, what do you think that means?” or “What do you think you’re going to do, if I don’t tell you anything right now?” It lets me know everything from every angle of the situation before I offer advice. But most times when I speak, it starts with these three lines and it is organized in that way.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,”

This is a carefully phrased statement, because it does not say, “Don’t worry about the things I cannot change,” it’s asking you accept it, and reach an inner peace about it. The first step of reaching any goal or finding any understanding is to know that there will be things in your life that you can’t change. You can’t worry about what’s preventing you from changing it, it’s more important to understand that you simply cannot change it. Once you take a situation and identify all the pieces that no matter how much you try, you will not be able to change, you’re ready to attack the real meat of the matter.

“Courage to change the things I can,”

There are two types of people in this world. There are those who spend most of their time diagnosing the problem — also known as, complaining. And there are those who spend most of their time resolving the problem. My best professional and personal advice I can give anyone is, “don’t come to me with a problem, if you haven’t thought of a solution.” There’s no country for people who can identify what the problem is, if they won’t do anything about it. Many times once people identify a problem they sit back and say, “I can’t do anything about that.” It’s a cowardly response some times. There will be times when you have situations that you can change, such as: finding a new job, making a move to a new city, ending an unhealthy relationship, or changing a mind.

You can change your job situation, but it doesn’t start with, “I need a new job” it starts with “I’m going to start looking for a new job.” You can make a move to a new city, but it doesn’t start with, “I don’t know anybody there” it starts with “I’ll have to work hard to make new friends and contacts.” And trust me, there’s always someone anywhere you go who you or someone you know knows. Ending unhealthy relationships can be difficult, but sometimes we feel we’re tied to people because we’ve been friends for so long, or we’ve been together for so long, but trust me you can do it. You can change minds too. Inception seems like a difficult thing to do, but it’s not. You can’t go into a person’s mind and make them do anything, but you can inspire and motivate others to do great things. The point here is, when you identify a problem that is changeable, change it.

“And the wisdom to know the difference.”

This is the most difficult part of the prayer because it’s the part that we can get hung up on the most. At times, we think that we are powerful beyond measure and other times we find safety in, “well there isn’t anything I can do about that.” As we grow in life we’ve got to work towards the wisdom needed to understand the difference between the things we can’t change and the things we can. I always like to think about it this way: you can’t change the past, you can only change the present, and you never know what’s going to happen in the future, but you can affect it. As people go through life’s daily bumps and bruises, give them time to hurt, no one is allowed to tell someone that they cannot hurt. But encourage them to heal, because you can’t hurt forever. Sooner or later you have to stop thinking about the past, because there’s nothing you can change about it. Then you have to start doing something about what’s going on right now, because you are missing out on countless opportunities to change the present.

This prayer has gotten me by at times when I didn’t know what to do. You know your life has reached a rough patch when you are pushed up against a wall with, ‘I just don’t know what I’m going to do.” It’s times like those when we need this prayer. When we have to make changes, or do things that we never thought we could do, it’s the best way to approach life.


http://www.singleblackmale.org/2012/01/17/learning-the-true-meaning-of-the-serenity-prayer/

THE SERENITY PRAYER...

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

GET INTO THE LYRICS....

Don't put your head on my shoulder
Sink me in a river of tears
This could be the best place yet
But you must overcome your fears

Ooh, in time
It could have been so much more
The time is precious I know
In time
It could have been so much more
The time has nothing to show

Because
Time won't give me time
And time makes lovers feel
Like they've got something real
But you and me
We know we've got
Nothin' but time
And time won't give me time
Won't give me time
(Time, time, time)

Don't make me feel any colder
Time is like a clock in my heart
Touch we, touch was the
heart too much
I felt I
Lost you from the start

DEFINITION OF A FAG HAG.....

Carrie was Standford’s fag hag on Sex And The City, Charlotte was Anthony’s on Sex And The City, Tracy is Shawn’s fag hag on Christopher Street, Grace was Will’s fag hag, Karen was Jack’s fag hag, and the list continues. Every gay man has their fag hag. And every girl who has a gay best friend is proud of being a fag hag. What is a fag hag? It’s simple: a straight woman who has a gay best friend. I have a fag hag. Sorry for putting you on blast Val. Either which way fag hags are the straight women who accompany us and gives us that minimal 1 percent of hetero-curiosity. Without a fag hag a gay man’s world can only be but so much. Thus, fag hags are the women who keep us on check, give us our flamin’ spice [even if we aren’t flamers at all], and on our sick days take us out to the clubs [um, Val hurry up and take me!]. Fag hags: the women we can’t live without.

THROWBACK.....GET INTO THE MUSIC....

SING SING CELEBRATE...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.

SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT THE JOHNSONS....FULL MOVIE...MUST WATCH

THE BENEFITS OF BLACK WOMEN.....

DEFINITELY WORTH CHECKING OUT...A HISTORY OF GAY BLACK LOVE VIA PHOTOS

Historian Trent Kelly has collected 146 rare vintage photographs of black male couples from the past 150 years.

Although the large majority of the pictures depict gay couples, the collection also includes images of families and friends but they all have one thing in common: they capture images of love.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hidden-in-the-open/6131322448/in/set-72157624480472079/

REALLY....IN 2012....THIS IS HAPPENING IN GEORGIA SCHOOLS...

The unorthodox teaching methods of teachers at a Norcross elementary school have caused a national uproar. The teachers gave 3rd grade students at Beaver Ridge Elementary a math lesson featuring slavery questions such as figuring out how many beatings a slave would get if he was whipped twice a day for 2 weeks.

Over 100 students were sent home with the math lesson, which featured about 20 questions on slavery. Some parents reacted with fury, accusing the teachers of blatant racism. But education leaders dismiss the allegations of racism.

According to the AJC, Calvine Rollins, president of the Georgia Association of Educators said “the slave math lesson created by a teacher to reinforce a lesson on Frederick Douglass may have used poor judgment, but it shouldn’t lead to the termination of those who wrote or handed it out without reviewing it.”

“This is an unfortunate incident,” Rollins said. “I don’t believe the teacher wanted to expose those kids to anything offensive. Gwinnett County teachers are dedicated. They work hard and try on a daily basis to do the right thing.”


The NAACP has stepped up its call for the teacher’s dismissal. “The superintendent said it was an honest mistake,” said Ed DuBose, state NAACP president. “But there is no scenario in which I think that a teacher should have developed questions that inflammatory. That teacher should have no future in the teaching profession. Our position is that teacher and the teachers who distributed the questions should be fired. Five teachers made the right decision not to distribute them.”

The slavery math lesson was a topic of discussion on ‘The View’ yesterday, where co-hosts Whoopi Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd condemned the teachers for being racists.

But co-host Joy Behar disagreed. “Well, they’re saying that slavery exists, I guess,” said Behar.

Beaver Ridge principal Jose DeJesus sent a letter home to parents echoing Behar’s opinion that the uproar over the math lesson is much ado about nothing:

“Our third graders have been studying famous Americans and had been reading about Frederick Douglass, a former slave,” DeJesus wrote. “These particular questions were an attempt at incorporating some of what students had been discussing in social studies with their math activity.”

SHIT BLACK GAYS SAY....SHIT IS FUNNY

SAMPLING AT IT'S BEST....

10 WAY TO AVOID MARRYING THE WRONG PERSON...

1) Do Not Marry Potential:

Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the wrong approach on both accounts. Don’t assume that you can change a person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it’s often for the worse. If you can’t accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don’t marry them. These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.


2) Choose Character over Chemistry:

While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, “Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning.” The idea of falling “in love” should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love. The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness. Here’s a breakdown of each trait:

1. Humility:
The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort. They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.

2. Kindness:
The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they’ve done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don’t have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money? How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else’s anger?

3. Responsibility:
A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character. You can you rely on this person and trust what they say.

4. Happiness:
A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don’t have. They very rarely complain.

3) Do Not Neglect The Emotional Needs of Your Partner:

Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved. The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated.

To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection, & Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs: Respect, Reassurance, & Relief. It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive. When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.

4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans:

In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.

You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about? Then ask yourself, “Do I respect this passion?” “Do I respect what they are into?”
The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with.
Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.

5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity:

Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why Allah has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman.

Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy, and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them.
I[COLOR="blue"]ntellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.
[/COLOR]
6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection:

There are a number of questions that you must answer YES to:

1, Do I respect and admire this person?
2. What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
3. Do I trust this person?
4. Can I rely on them? Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
5. Do I feel Safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself?
6. Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?

If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married. If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!

7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety:

Choosing someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage. Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage. When you don’t feel safe, you can’t express your feelings and opinions. Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship. If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can’t really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it’s very likely you are in an abusive relationship. Look for the following things:

1. Controlling behavior:
This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair/hijab and the way you spend your time. Know the difference between suggestions and demands. Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.

2. Anger issues:
This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs, and curses at you, etc. You don’t have to put up with this type of treatment. Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds. If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away. Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.

8) Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner:

Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset. Ask yourself, “What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?” “What bothers me about this person or the relationship?” It’s very important to identify what’s bothering you, things that concern you, and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them.

This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there’s conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate, and work together as a team. When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it’s an indication they don’t work well as a team. Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds. How do they handle it? Are they defensive? Do they attack? Do they withdraw? Do they get annoyed? Do they blame you? Do they ignore it? Do they hide or rationalize it? Don’t just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!

9) Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility:

It’s very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that’s their reason for getting married. People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married.

If you are currently not happy with yourself, don’t like yourself, don’t like the direction your life is going now, it’s important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage. Don’t bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.

10) Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner:

Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having 3 (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster. Also important to consider are the following:

1. Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside.
These include people who don’t like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities, and negative thoughts. They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends, and often distrust people or are afraid of them. Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not getting met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don’t. They feel burdened by other people’s needs and feel resentment towards them. These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships.

2. Addictions
can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship. Never marry an addict. Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol. They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc. When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!

Additional Points to Consider:

The fact is no one looks 25 forever. Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance. When we get to know someone we love and admire, we’ll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.

Once we find someone, we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of others, is rude to you, etc. We don’t stop to ask, “What does all of this mean about their character?”

Never separate someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc. Asking clear questions can clarify this. Ask questions like, “What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle?” “What are your expectations of marriage?” “How would you help around the house?” Compare your definition with theirs.

Be flexible. Be open-minded!

Giving in a happy marriage should not be confused with martyrdom. It should be about taking pleasure and seeing the other person as happy because of your connection with them.

Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money, and health. The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship. If someone isn’t God-conscience and doesn’t take themselves into account with God then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you?

The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss. Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage. Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well. Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage

WENDY GIVES DUMBTASIA SOME TOUGH LOVE...

JAMIE FOXX GOING IN ON TERRANCE HOWARD...FUNNY SHIT

CALVIN OWNS ABOUT 8 MCDONALDS NOW....

FUNNY SHIT BLACK FEMALES SAY.....TRUE...

SOMETHING TO MAKE YOUR HUMP DAY GO BY A LITTLE FUNNIER....

IT'S 2012 BITCHES....