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September 15, 2013
September 12, 2013
10 TYPES OF GUYS BLACK WOMEN HAVE DATED......MORE ACCURATE
1. The God
At 35 he has two degrees, a six-figure income, no kids and a mortgage. And yes, he's straight. On paper, he sounds ideal. How is he single? Because in person he's a nightmare. He's convinced himself that his presence is a present, and he reminds you of that (and his "accomplishments") at every opportunity.
2. The 'Single' Husband
Of course you didn't know he was married, or you never would have given him your number. But he conveniently left out that tidbit of info when he approached at happy hour. You're on the phone with him one late evening and hear a woman's voice in the background. "Who's that?" you ask. "Oh, that's just my wife," he says casually, as if he's explaining that the dog was barking. "Is that a problem for you?" he inquires. You don't understand what type of relationship he and his wife have, but the point is they have one, and you are out. Click.
3. The Conspiracy Theorist
Everything boils down to someone trying to keep a brother, well, down. A fictitious TV heroine dating a white guy? The white man devaluing black love. He gets cut off in traffic? The white man trying to make him late for work. Valentine's Day? Another way the white man gets the black man to spend money to keep a brother broke.
4. The Brother Who Doesn't Really Like Black People
If you published the transcript to any of his rants on what's wrong with black people, it would read like the minutes from a KKK meeting. According to him, the sum of black culture is baby daddies, piss-poor morality, consumerism and fried chicken. In defense of black people you mention jazz music, red-velvet cake and Jesus, who had hair like lamb's wool. You remind this brother that he is actually black. He promptly lists all his nonblack ancestors to distance himself from the race
5. The Drunk He doesn't think he has a drinking problem because he consumes top-shelf booze from a crystal tumbler. This is supposed to separate him from the college student drinking mystery punch from a red cup. But it doesn't matter how or what he drinks if he gets frat-boy wasted all the same. With a few pours in his system, this otherwise mild-mannered and emotionally conservative man is prone to instigating a fight at the club or doing his best Drake impression from "Marvin's Room" and calling you to talk about his feelings. Of course, he remembers none of it the next day.
6. Mr. Disappearing Act
He was near perfect, like "The God" type but without the God complex. He shows a steady interest by calling and spending time. He has great conversation. After a few months of dating, you tell him, "I really like you." The next day, he drops off the face of the earth. You call and leave a message. You text. You email. No response. One day, after months of radio silence, he hits you to say, "Hey, what's up?" as if he just spoke to you yesterday.
7. The Creative
He is filled with the sound of music. It's charming to meet someone who hasn't been sucked dry of artistic passion by the rigors of being an adult. But then you realize he sings All. The. Time. Or he's given to annoying interludes when he can't be bothered to engage with you (or the outside world) because his inner muse is speaking to him. You throw in the towel when you hear the album he's been neglecting you to work on and you realize you hate his music.
8. Mr. (No) Personality
Like the rest of us, he's addicted to social media. You notice this friend of a friend RTed in your Twitter feed or commenting on Facebook updates because Mr. Personality has an endless supply of wit and appropriate snark. You're excited to meet him in person at a housewarming, but when you finally do, he can barely look you in the eye to say hello. He spends most of the evening sitting alone ... on his phone.
9. Mr. Intentional
He means to do the right thing but just has uncommonly bad luck. Every story begins with, "See, what had happened was ... " He's got an excuse for everything, from why he "forgot" his wallet on your first date and why he got "let go" from his job to why he's always -- always! -- late.
10. The Misogynist
He's heterosexual and enjoys sex with women, but he doesn't really like or respect any except his grandmother, who raised him. He's constantly complaining about the shortcomings of all "females" -- who are emotional and deceitful (based on the ex who broke his still-broken heart) -- and describes any woman with an opinion as "bitter" or "angry."
At 35 he has two degrees, a six-figure income, no kids and a mortgage. And yes, he's straight. On paper, he sounds ideal. How is he single? Because in person he's a nightmare. He's convinced himself that his presence is a present, and he reminds you of that (and his "accomplishments") at every opportunity.
2. The 'Single' Husband
Of course you didn't know he was married, or you never would have given him your number. But he conveniently left out that tidbit of info when he approached at happy hour. You're on the phone with him one late evening and hear a woman's voice in the background. "Who's that?" you ask. "Oh, that's just my wife," he says casually, as if he's explaining that the dog was barking. "Is that a problem for you?" he inquires. You don't understand what type of relationship he and his wife have, but the point is they have one, and you are out. Click.
3. The Conspiracy Theorist
Everything boils down to someone trying to keep a brother, well, down. A fictitious TV heroine dating a white guy? The white man devaluing black love. He gets cut off in traffic? The white man trying to make him late for work. Valentine's Day? Another way the white man gets the black man to spend money to keep a brother broke.
4. The Brother Who Doesn't Really Like Black People
If you published the transcript to any of his rants on what's wrong with black people, it would read like the minutes from a KKK meeting. According to him, the sum of black culture is baby daddies, piss-poor morality, consumerism and fried chicken. In defense of black people you mention jazz music, red-velvet cake and Jesus, who had hair like lamb's wool. You remind this brother that he is actually black. He promptly lists all his nonblack ancestors to distance himself from the race
5. The Drunk He doesn't think he has a drinking problem because he consumes top-shelf booze from a crystal tumbler. This is supposed to separate him from the college student drinking mystery punch from a red cup. But it doesn't matter how or what he drinks if he gets frat-boy wasted all the same. With a few pours in his system, this otherwise mild-mannered and emotionally conservative man is prone to instigating a fight at the club or doing his best Drake impression from "Marvin's Room" and calling you to talk about his feelings. Of course, he remembers none of it the next day.
6. Mr. Disappearing Act
He was near perfect, like "The God" type but without the God complex. He shows a steady interest by calling and spending time. He has great conversation. After a few months of dating, you tell him, "I really like you." The next day, he drops off the face of the earth. You call and leave a message. You text. You email. No response. One day, after months of radio silence, he hits you to say, "Hey, what's up?" as if he just spoke to you yesterday.
7. The Creative
He is filled with the sound of music. It's charming to meet someone who hasn't been sucked dry of artistic passion by the rigors of being an adult. But then you realize he sings All. The. Time. Or he's given to annoying interludes when he can't be bothered to engage with you (or the outside world) because his inner muse is speaking to him. You throw in the towel when you hear the album he's been neglecting you to work on and you realize you hate his music.
8. Mr. (No) Personality
Like the rest of us, he's addicted to social media. You notice this friend of a friend RTed in your Twitter feed or commenting on Facebook updates because Mr. Personality has an endless supply of wit and appropriate snark. You're excited to meet him in person at a housewarming, but when you finally do, he can barely look you in the eye to say hello. He spends most of the evening sitting alone ... on his phone.
9. Mr. Intentional
He means to do the right thing but just has uncommonly bad luck. Every story begins with, "See, what had happened was ... " He's got an excuse for everything, from why he "forgot" his wallet on your first date and why he got "let go" from his job to why he's always -- always! -- late.
10. The Misogynist
He's heterosexual and enjoys sex with women, but he doesn't really like or respect any except his grandmother, who raised him. He's constantly complaining about the shortcomings of all "females" -- who are emotional and deceitful (based on the ex who broke his still-broken heart) -- and describes any woman with an opinion as "bitter" or "angry."
5 WOMEN EVERY MAN HAS DATED....(NOT SURE HOW ACCURATE THIS ONE IS)
1. The Stealth Church Bomber-Everything between you two is going great. You sincerely laugh at her jokes, your boys like the idea of her, she’s great at making tea, and you have surprisingly efficient sex.
Well, you thought everything was going great…until she hits you with the stealth church bomb.
“I like you and all, but I can’t continue this relationship if we don’t establish a relationship with God and start going to church.”
“Wait, what?” you think to yourself, as your mind races back to the sex you two had in a Banana Republic dressing room seven minutes ago. “Where is this coming from? Since when are you a Christian?”
You even glance at your phone to check every email and text message from her to see if she ever even hinted at the words “Church” or “Christ” in any of your correspondence. Maybe she said something before, but you just didn’t notice.
Nope.
You don’t actually say any of this aloud, though, because you’re also a Christian, you’d also like to reestablish a relationship with God, and you ultimately realize her ultimatum is a good one. But, you just don’t appreciate having the God bomb dropped on you by someone whose only references to our savior in the time you’ve known them was when her legs were wrapped around your neck.
2. The Delta-You first suspect something is a little off when you notice her iPhone background image is a baby elephant. A very cute baby elephant, but an elephant nonetheless. Another silent alarm goes off the first time you enter her apartment as she asks you to take a seat on her elephant-shaped futon, which is directly adjacent to a coffee table prominently displaying three original prints of Babar the Elephant. Sitting on that table is a glass of water. After lifting it, you see that the glass features an elephant driving a pink Cadillac. You appreciate the kitsch. While in her bed later that night, the silent alarm turns into a red flag after she pauses during fellatio, gets up, walks to her bedroom dresser, and carefully turns around each of the dozen or so tiny elephant figurines facing the bed. As she gets back into bed, she explains: “They can’t watch what’s about to happen.”
(Honorable Mention: The AKA)
3. The Ceaseless Selfie Shooter-At first glance, she seems normal. Sure, perhaps you thought she looked like she spends a bit too much time at Macy’s MAC counter, but you’re evolved enough to judge women on the content on their characters, not the colors of their awkwardly long eyelashes. So, you get her number. And, when you see she’s requesting a Facebook add, you accept. Even if it doesn’t work out, you can never have too many Facebook friends, right? Moments after you’ve accepted her add, you see that she just uploaded a new profile picture, featuring her smiling face while she’s standing next to a refrigerator. “Cool” you think to yourself. “She must be happy about her new fridge.” An hour later, she uploads another new profile picture, featuring her smiling face while she’s sitting on an off-white futon. “Hmm” you think to yourself. “I guess she went on a shopping spree last weekend.” 15 minutes later, she uploads another new profile picture, featuring her smiling face while she’s standing in front of an immaculate toilet. “Damn” you think to yourself. “Is she just photoshopping her face in front random household appliances? Is this a new fetish? Kinky! I likes!” After this happens four more times in the next hour, you realize you’re dating a ceaseless selfie shooter. Since she looks exactly the same in each of the 27 profile pics she uploaded today, you’re not sure if she’s creating a piece of performance art or is just a raging narcissist, but you do know you’ll have to block her because 50% of your total newsfeed is comprised of her standing in front of shower curtains and empty doghouses.
4. Ms “All Of My Friends Are Already Dating White Guys, And I’m Probably Next”-It’s very hard to pinpoint any characteristics distinguishing these women from others. They look, sound, smell, and taste just like any other Black women you’ll meet. But, there’s just something about them that lets you know you’re likely the last brotha standing between them and something new. And, by “something new” I mean “someone named Philip.” You even tell her during the first date that you assumed she had a White boyfriend. When she asks “Why?” you shrug your shoulders and shove some calamari in your mouth. She’s a Kobe fan and you have a soul, so you both know it’s not going to work out. But while you don’t have a problem with her—or anyone!—dating and marrying “out,” you also don’t want to go down in her history as the last Black man she ever dated. (Why? Well, there might be a list somewhere that names the last Black guy each of the Black women married to White men dated. If it exists, I don’t want to be on it.) So, you stay with her until she gets frustrated and cheats on you with an Asian woman. Not the best outcome, but at least you won’t be on the list.
5. The Manic Pixie Black Girl-You’re drawn to her because she’s not like the women you usually date. She smokes weed everyday, has deep conversations with squirrels, dresses like a genie, and has inspired you to appreciate colors and shit in a way you never did before. You’re even turned on by her cute little shoplifting habit. Basically, she’s the character Lisa Bonet plays in every movie. But, the manic pixie dream-ness starts getting old the third or fourth time she yells at you for being “angry at her couch,” and her complete disdain for rules, order, and consistent hygiene will have you yearning to be back at the Thai-centric brunches with your Bougie Black soulmates. That’s it for me, but I’m sure you all can do better. People of VSB, which women (and men) also need to be on this list?
2. The Delta-You first suspect something is a little off when you notice her iPhone background image is a baby elephant. A very cute baby elephant, but an elephant nonetheless. Another silent alarm goes off the first time you enter her apartment as she asks you to take a seat on her elephant-shaped futon, which is directly adjacent to a coffee table prominently displaying three original prints of Babar the Elephant. Sitting on that table is a glass of water. After lifting it, you see that the glass features an elephant driving a pink Cadillac. You appreciate the kitsch. While in her bed later that night, the silent alarm turns into a red flag after she pauses during fellatio, gets up, walks to her bedroom dresser, and carefully turns around each of the dozen or so tiny elephant figurines facing the bed. As she gets back into bed, she explains: “They can’t watch what’s about to happen.”
(Honorable Mention: The AKA)
3. The Ceaseless Selfie Shooter-At first glance, she seems normal. Sure, perhaps you thought she looked like she spends a bit too much time at Macy’s MAC counter, but you’re evolved enough to judge women on the content on their characters, not the colors of their awkwardly long eyelashes. So, you get her number. And, when you see she’s requesting a Facebook add, you accept. Even if it doesn’t work out, you can never have too many Facebook friends, right? Moments after you’ve accepted her add, you see that she just uploaded a new profile picture, featuring her smiling face while she’s standing next to a refrigerator. “Cool” you think to yourself. “She must be happy about her new fridge.” An hour later, she uploads another new profile picture, featuring her smiling face while she’s sitting on an off-white futon. “Hmm” you think to yourself. “I guess she went on a shopping spree last weekend.” 15 minutes later, she uploads another new profile picture, featuring her smiling face while she’s standing in front of an immaculate toilet. “Damn” you think to yourself. “Is she just photoshopping her face in front random household appliances? Is this a new fetish? Kinky! I likes!” After this happens four more times in the next hour, you realize you’re dating a ceaseless selfie shooter. Since she looks exactly the same in each of the 27 profile pics she uploaded today, you’re not sure if she’s creating a piece of performance art or is just a raging narcissist, but you do know you’ll have to block her because 50% of your total newsfeed is comprised of her standing in front of shower curtains and empty doghouses.
4. Ms “All Of My Friends Are Already Dating White Guys, And I’m Probably Next”-It’s very hard to pinpoint any characteristics distinguishing these women from others. They look, sound, smell, and taste just like any other Black women you’ll meet. But, there’s just something about them that lets you know you’re likely the last brotha standing between them and something new. And, by “something new” I mean “someone named Philip.” You even tell her during the first date that you assumed she had a White boyfriend. When she asks “Why?” you shrug your shoulders and shove some calamari in your mouth. She’s a Kobe fan and you have a soul, so you both know it’s not going to work out. But while you don’t have a problem with her—or anyone!—dating and marrying “out,” you also don’t want to go down in her history as the last Black man she ever dated. (Why? Well, there might be a list somewhere that names the last Black guy each of the Black women married to White men dated. If it exists, I don’t want to be on it.) So, you stay with her until she gets frustrated and cheats on you with an Asian woman. Not the best outcome, but at least you won’t be on the list.
5. The Manic Pixie Black Girl-You’re drawn to her because she’s not like the women you usually date. She smokes weed everyday, has deep conversations with squirrels, dresses like a genie, and has inspired you to appreciate colors and shit in a way you never did before. You’re even turned on by her cute little shoplifting habit. Basically, she’s the character Lisa Bonet plays in every movie. But, the manic pixie dream-ness starts getting old the third or fourth time she yells at you for being “angry at her couch,” and her complete disdain for rules, order, and consistent hygiene will have you yearning to be back at the Thai-centric brunches with your Bougie Black soulmates. That’s it for me, but I’m sure you all can do better. People of VSB, which women (and men) also need to be on this list?
September 11, 2013
September 10, 2013
September 8, 2013
YOU ARE IMPORTANT....
“You may never have proof of your importance but you are more important than you think. There are always those who couldn’t do without you. The rub is that you don’t always know who.”
— Robert Fulghum
CUDDLING ONE ON ONE.....
"...the best way to cuddle with me. Ass-naked with your head on my chest and a leg thrown across my torso."
Read more: http://blu-bloggington.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-06-21T07:23:00-07:00&max-results=7&start=63&by-date=false#ixzz2eJHvOcX3
Read more: http://blu-bloggington.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-06-21T07:23:00-07:00&max-results=7&start=63&by-date=false#ixzz2eJHvOcX3
September 7, 2013
NO TRUER WORDS EVER SAID....
Make everyone as happy as you possibly can, even if it means leaving them alone.
September 5, 2013
TRUE INSPIRATION....
"Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending." - Raven
Read more: http://blu-bloggington.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-07-02T21:37:00-07:00&max-results=7&start=49&by-date=false#ixzz2e3SrQwzY
Read more: http://blu-bloggington.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-07-02T21:37:00-07:00&max-results=7&start=49&by-date=false#ixzz2e3SrQwzY
WHAT SHE SAID...VIOLA DAVIS....PREACH
“I had to defend myself as an artist, but I found myself defending myself as a dark-skinned Black woman in front of people who did not know my life. I took my wig off because I no longer wanted to apologize for who I am…”
September 3, 2013
LIFE LESSON #77....
YOLO (You Only Live Once) is an incorrect statement. You LIVE every day. You only DIE once. So stop being stupid.
THANKS M.R.
THANKS M.R.
FOR THE OTHER WOMAN.....
Females, lets be clear....and REAL....a man isn't cheating with you because you are so good at being the other woman....he's cheating with you because you aren't good enough to be THE woman.
I laugh at women that brag about being the "go to" woman when the man gets bored at home, you try to put down a submissive woman for being who God designed her to be. Learn what submission really means.
A submissive woman is far from weak, because a true submissive woman knows how to carry the load for him and her both without him even having to know it. She knows how to speak to his spirit; not his lusts. She knows how to push him to his dreams instead of pulling him to destruction. She knows how to pray with him and not play with him. She knows how to be quiet even when her flesh wants to speak. She knows the value of his hard work; not just his dollar.
A submissive woman is his "LIFETIME" but you are just a "GOOD TIME"...and that's all you will ever be. He knows that he can throw a few dollars & material possessions your way & that's all you will ever expect.
The other woman makes it easy for a man, the submissive woman makes it easy for herself by making him EARN; not buy her.
You are the O.T.H.E.R. woman...an Overplayed Toy He Eventually Releases!!! I know a few!
I laugh at women that brag about being the "go to" woman when the man gets bored at home, you try to put down a submissive woman for being who God designed her to be. Learn what submission really means.
A submissive woman is far from weak, because a true submissive woman knows how to carry the load for him and her both without him even having to know it. She knows how to speak to his spirit; not his lusts. She knows how to push him to his dreams instead of pulling him to destruction. She knows how to pray with him and not play with him. She knows how to be quiet even when her flesh wants to speak. She knows the value of his hard work; not just his dollar.
A submissive woman is his "LIFETIME" but you are just a "GOOD TIME"...and that's all you will ever be. He knows that he can throw a few dollars & material possessions your way & that's all you will ever expect.
The other woman makes it easy for a man, the submissive woman makes it easy for herself by making him EARN; not buy her.
You are the O.T.H.E.R. woman...an Overplayed Toy He Eventually Releases!!! I know a few!
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