Dear Housewives-
You are my second favorite group of "Housewives" after Orange County (they are soooo tanned and fake, I can't help loving them the most). You make me want to come for a visit in Franklin Lakes and get drunk with Teresa and Dina and have a big party at "The Brownstone". Who knew a group of Italian women living in boring ass New Jersey could be so entertaining. I can't wait until Season 2.
I decided to write you this letter to let you know how I felt about Season 1 and to give each of you my own thoughts on each of you.
I hope you don't mind...
Dina-You are my favorite Cougar MILF hottie and if we ever meet, I'll probably start babbling while staring at your breasts. You have something about you that I can't put my finger on. Maybe it's that "I Don't Give a Fuck" attitude or those fake breasts but you are one hot mama. I like how you respect your sister enough to do what she tells you because in the end, you know she knows best. I also like how you talk trash like you can back it up. Must be nice coming from a big "MAFIOSO" family who "Are As Thick As Thieves" and always have your back.
Caroline-You remind me a lot of my mother. You have that laid back, pampered demeanor and enjoy taking care of everybody. You like being a mother and a wife and it suites you. I know under that flaming red hair and those huge bubbies, you have a wild side. I get the feeling that if somebody ever TRIED, ATTEMPTED, THOUGHT TOO HARD about messing with someone in your family, they would have to answer to you. NOT A PRETTY IDEA. You are one mama I would not want to tangle with if you got mad.
Jacqueline-You are a BORING! A push over! You need to learn the word LOYALTY...Family FIRST!!!
I didn't feel anything for you because you didn't seem to have a personality AT ALL. You were just was kind of there because you married into the family. I don't hate you but definitely wish you had SOME personality.
Teresa-I LOVE YOU LIL BUBBIES AND ALL! I love you even more with the new bubbies. You remind me of a real Italian Princess who is pampered and take good care of your family but will still cut a bitch if they cross your path. I love your family motto,"Happy Wife, Happy Life!" Your girls are spoiled and adorable, her husband a big Italian body builder type, and your house is OVER THE TOP! I'm waiting for an invitation so we can drink homemade wine and brainstorm ways to destroy that bitch Danielle.
Danielle-I'm not sure why you think you are so hot...you look kind of like a man with big breasts (fake) and no ass! You aren't just a drama queen, you are "THE DRAMA QUEEN". You started all the trouble this season for no reason at all except you are miserable and have no life of your own. You should have a warning sign on your forehead that says Hazardous to your Health. Watch our because me, Dina and Teresa are going to KICK YOUR ASS! (I really don't fight women but I'll be there as backup)
As I said, I can't wait until the Second Season. I hope you ladies come up with a new plot or a new housewife (a real one) comes in to replace Danielle.
Signed-
A RHNJ Fan
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