Friendship-is mutually cooperative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.
Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship.
A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for some, the practical execution of friendship is little more than the trust that someone will not harm them.
Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:
-the tendency to desire what is best for the other
-sympathy and empathy
-honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
mutual understanding
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August 31, 2009
GROWN AND SEXY....REMEMBER ME....
LIL RICHIE FROM FAMILY MATTERS IS DEFINITELY NOT LIL ANYTHING ANYMORE....
PHOTO OF THE DAY.....
I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS....I LOVE ME SOME WENDY "BIG MOUTH" WILLIAMS....
HATE ON HERE ALL YOU WANT....TRY LOOKING THIS DAMN GOOD IN YOUR 40'S....
WHO RAN IT....OLD SCHOOL VS. NEW SCHOOL....
NEW SCHOOL...KIESHA COLE
ORIGINAL VERSION...OLD SCHOOL...IKE AND TINA TURNER....
NOW HERE IS THE CLASSIC MOVIE SCENE FROM "WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT"
WHERE IN THE WOLD IS.....SAM SALTER?
I REMEMBER THIS SOME SOPHMORE YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL....SLOW GRINDING ON MY GIRLFRIEND...WHEN TONGUE KISSING WAS STILL HOT....
WHERE DID MY MAN'S CAREER GO?
ANYBODY KNOW WHERE SAM IS?
August 30, 2009
WORD OF THE DAY...BAD BITCH
1.Female who knows what she wants and knows exactly how to get it
2.Female who is always ready for anything physically, emotionally, and also intellectually(one being book smart as well as street smart)
3.One who is classy and all about business
4.Last but certainly not least one who knows how to take care of her man at home and in the streets and remains loyal to him(her man), herself, and the game at which she plays.
2.Female who is always ready for anything physically, emotionally, and also intellectually(one being book smart as well as street smart)
3.One who is classy and all about business
4.Last but certainly not least one who knows how to take care of her man at home and in the streets and remains loyal to him(her man), herself, and the game at which she plays.
THIS IS WHAT A BAD BITCH LOOKS LIKE....
SAY WHAT YOU WANT...SHE LOOKS GOOD AS FUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK IN THIS COMMERCIAL....
August 28, 2009
NEW SCHOOL RUNNING OLD SCHOOL CLASSICS...
MY PRIVATE CONVESRATION WITH JOE....
ME:BOY YOU BETTER SINNNNNGGGGGGG
JOE:I DO WHAT I CAN
A BLESSING OR A CURSE?
MY EX ONCE SAID TO ME, "YOU MIGHT FIND SOMEBODY THAT LOVES YOU AS MUCH AS I DO BUT YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANYBODY THAT WILL LOVE YOU MORE."
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
IS THAT A BLESSING OR A CURSE OVER MY LIFE?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
IS THAT A BLESSING OR A CURSE OVER MY LIFE?
August 27, 2009
I'VE NEVER BEEN ENVIOUS OR JEALOUS OF A WHITE WOMAN BEFORE.....BUT
I SERIOUSLY HAVE TO JUST FOCUS ON THESE THESE BEAUTIFUL PICS...INSTEAD OF GISELE....
THE PICTURES ARE AMAZING
MILK DOES A BODY DAMN GOOD....
FACE, BODY, LIPS, CHEST, ABS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY(SMILING)ASSSSSSS FOR DAYS....
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS MAN....
I'M A MOMMA'S BOY, ALWAYS HAVE BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE....
AS MOTHER'S DAY approaches, I have a confession to make. Well, mavbe it's not a confession in the traditional sense. I mean, it's not a Ten Commandments-type of confession, the kind where you seek repentance. It's really not a confession at all. It's more of a declaration, a coming-out of sorts, something to celebrate and be proud of. In fact, it's a bold announcement that could change the world.
I'm a mama's boy. Always have been. Always will be. There, I've said it. Amd let me be the first to say that ain't nothing wrong with being a mama's boy.
I used to get rattled every time a woman would say to me: "I can tell you're a mama's boy. Aren't you? Aren't you?" shaking her head in disgust, raising her eyebrows, cutting her beady little eyes right through me. "And you want the woman you marry to be just like your mama."
"Why you got to go there? Huh?" I would answer defensively. "Naw, I ain't no mama's boy. Nope. You're kidding right? Mama's boy? By no means. Absolutely not. Oh no, not me."
And I'm not the only one who has run from the label. All men have struggled with the same question, and all women have taken delight in posing it and seeing the subsequent paralyzing effect it has on us, like a deer frozen by the headlights of an oncoming truck.
We have never fought this assault on the nature of our relationship with our mamas, even though we know in reality it's impossible not to be a mama's boy.
The first person we knew was mama. The first person we kissed was mama. The first person we told a secret to was mama. The only person who has always been there for us has been mama. The only person who, without hesitation, would sacrifice personal hopes and dreams for us was mama. Mama has been a father and a mother, a sister, a brother and a best friend to us, a person who has always raised us with the care and compassion far beyond her job description.
But instead of saying, "Yeah, I'm a mama's boy and proud of it," like a woman would say if she was called a "daddy's girl," men have let the negative connotation associated with the term "mama's boy" manifest itself and snowball out of control. And as we look back at what has been called "the decade of the woman"--a time when women took pride in becoming less and less like mama (even the former first lady proclaimed that she was not going to be sitting at home, baking cookies and standing by her man)--frankly, I'm convinced that it's too late for mere mortal men to fight back.
So, I have decided to single-handedly take on the challenge myself. Starting today, I will become the self-anointed Super Mama's Boy. I will be easy to spot. I'll be the guy with the "S" on his chest and the "MB" on his back (cross-stitched by none other than my mama, of course). I will be the spokesperson for all mama's boys, except for the ones pushing 40 and still living with mama, and not paying mama rent. To you guys, I say, "GET OUT OF MAMA'S HOUSE! You're giving all of us a bad name."
But for all other self-respecting mama's boys, I will take it upon myself to be there every time and anywhere the question, "You're a mama's boy, aren't you? Aren't you?" is posed. MY mission is twofold--to be the protector of the sacred mother/son bond, and to be the defender of a man's right to want the woman in his life to be like his mother.
I will arm myself with photos and a TV playing soft music and showing such scenes as a mama changing her son's diaper, playing peekaboo with him, rocking him to sleep, dressing him for church, dropping him off at basketball practice, sitting in the front row at his first school play, hugging him as he goes off to college and cooking his favorite meal, her famous fried chicken.
I realize that it's not going to be an easy battle. In fact, there may be a few casualties, and a few people could get hurt. And it could get ugly, especially when we reminisce about the times when mama disciplined her son, always prefacing it by saying, "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."
But I am sure this stroll down memory lane will bring any woman to her senses and give every man the courage he needs to stand up for truth, justice and mama's boys everywhere.
And along the way, I also will defend a man's right to want the woman in his life to be mindful of his needs, concerned about his happiness and excited about his triumphs--just like mama. I will defend a man's right to want a woman who will be there when he needs a hug, be there when he needs encouragement, be there when he needs advice, be there to brag about his achievements and downplay his disappointments--just like mama.
I won't rest until every woman considers mama a goal to shoot for, not an obstacle to overcome or a land mine to avoid. I won't rest until every woman stops faulting men for growing up with the perfect woman and wanting to grow old with the perfect woman.
My mission will not be complete until every young boy dreams about becoming Super Mama's Boy, and every woman concludes that being a mama's boy is not so bad after all.
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE
I'm a mama's boy. Always have been. Always will be. There, I've said it. Amd let me be the first to say that ain't nothing wrong with being a mama's boy.
I used to get rattled every time a woman would say to me: "I can tell you're a mama's boy. Aren't you? Aren't you?" shaking her head in disgust, raising her eyebrows, cutting her beady little eyes right through me. "And you want the woman you marry to be just like your mama."
"Why you got to go there? Huh?" I would answer defensively. "Naw, I ain't no mama's boy. Nope. You're kidding right? Mama's boy? By no means. Absolutely not. Oh no, not me."
And I'm not the only one who has run from the label. All men have struggled with the same question, and all women have taken delight in posing it and seeing the subsequent paralyzing effect it has on us, like a deer frozen by the headlights of an oncoming truck.
We have never fought this assault on the nature of our relationship with our mamas, even though we know in reality it's impossible not to be a mama's boy.
The first person we knew was mama. The first person we kissed was mama. The first person we told a secret to was mama. The only person who has always been there for us has been mama. The only person who, without hesitation, would sacrifice personal hopes and dreams for us was mama. Mama has been a father and a mother, a sister, a brother and a best friend to us, a person who has always raised us with the care and compassion far beyond her job description.
But instead of saying, "Yeah, I'm a mama's boy and proud of it," like a woman would say if she was called a "daddy's girl," men have let the negative connotation associated with the term "mama's boy" manifest itself and snowball out of control. And as we look back at what has been called "the decade of the woman"--a time when women took pride in becoming less and less like mama (even the former first lady proclaimed that she was not going to be sitting at home, baking cookies and standing by her man)--frankly, I'm convinced that it's too late for mere mortal men to fight back.
So, I have decided to single-handedly take on the challenge myself. Starting today, I will become the self-anointed Super Mama's Boy. I will be easy to spot. I'll be the guy with the "S" on his chest and the "MB" on his back (cross-stitched by none other than my mama, of course). I will be the spokesperson for all mama's boys, except for the ones pushing 40 and still living with mama, and not paying mama rent. To you guys, I say, "GET OUT OF MAMA'S HOUSE! You're giving all of us a bad name."
But for all other self-respecting mama's boys, I will take it upon myself to be there every time and anywhere the question, "You're a mama's boy, aren't you? Aren't you?" is posed. MY mission is twofold--to be the protector of the sacred mother/son bond, and to be the defender of a man's right to want the woman in his life to be like his mother.
I will arm myself with photos and a TV playing soft music and showing such scenes as a mama changing her son's diaper, playing peekaboo with him, rocking him to sleep, dressing him for church, dropping him off at basketball practice, sitting in the front row at his first school play, hugging him as he goes off to college and cooking his favorite meal, her famous fried chicken.
I realize that it's not going to be an easy battle. In fact, there may be a few casualties, and a few people could get hurt. And it could get ugly, especially when we reminisce about the times when mama disciplined her son, always prefacing it by saying, "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."
But I am sure this stroll down memory lane will bring any woman to her senses and give every man the courage he needs to stand up for truth, justice and mama's boys everywhere.
And along the way, I also will defend a man's right to want the woman in his life to be mindful of his needs, concerned about his happiness and excited about his triumphs--just like mama. I will defend a man's right to want a woman who will be there when he needs a hug, be there when he needs encouragement, be there when he needs advice, be there to brag about his achievements and downplay his disappointments--just like mama.
I won't rest until every woman considers mama a goal to shoot for, not an obstacle to overcome or a land mine to avoid. I won't rest until every woman stops faulting men for growing up with the perfect woman and wanting to grow old with the perfect woman.
My mission will not be complete until every young boy dreams about becoming Super Mama's Boy, and every woman concludes that being a mama's boy is not so bad after all.
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE
MORE FOOD FOR THOUGHT...
WORDS....
Words are among the most dangerous powers a person can wield. When what you hear is not what the other person is trying to say—and conversely, when what you want to say is not what the other person is hearing—a conversation can quickly turn into a confrontation. The best precautions are first, not to take the words we hear literally, and second, not to trust your own interpretation of others' statements. If you are in a bad mood and looking for trouble, you may interpret a comment negatively, whereas if you are in a peaceful state of mind, your interpretation may be the opposite, resulting in an altogether different conversation. You cannot enter into anyone else's mind and know exactly how they are thinking at the moment, nor can you expect anyone else to know what is going on in the maze of your mind. You alone are responsible for your reactions to the words of others.
Imagine that every word has a hundred meanings. Accepting that your words have different meanings to different people will greatly improve your ability to communicate without conflict because that concept will force you to choose your words carefully.
You interpret words based on your mental and emotional state at the moment. Someone who loves you says something to support you in a way that gets you upset or hurt. Why? Because you took it one way and they meant it another. Isn't this common? End this by developing an objective view of words rather than a subjective interpretation of their meaning based on your personal state. If the speaker says something then the words should be taken according to the speakers emotional state, not the listener's. If the speaker is not developed enough to know how to speak correctly or respectfully (which is normally the case), then why should an objective listener get upset with their words? The listener often reacts unnecessarily because they listen with their own subjective opinion of what is said, not really hearing what is said, or meant by the speaker. It could be intended as neutral, but taken as intentionally attacking, and that is the listeners mistake.
Words are among the most dangerous powers a person can wield. When what you hear is not what the other person is trying to say—and conversely, when what you want to say is not what the other person is hearing—a conversation can quickly turn into a confrontation. The best precautions are first, not to take the words we hear literally, and second, not to trust your own interpretation of others' statements. If you are in a bad mood and looking for trouble, you may interpret a comment negatively, whereas if you are in a peaceful state of mind, your interpretation may be the opposite, resulting in an altogether different conversation. You cannot enter into anyone else's mind and know exactly how they are thinking at the moment, nor can you expect anyone else to know what is going on in the maze of your mind. You alone are responsible for your reactions to the words of others.
Imagine that every word has a hundred meanings. Accepting that your words have different meanings to different people will greatly improve your ability to communicate without conflict because that concept will force you to choose your words carefully.
You interpret words based on your mental and emotional state at the moment. Someone who loves you says something to support you in a way that gets you upset or hurt. Why? Because you took it one way and they meant it another. Isn't this common? End this by developing an objective view of words rather than a subjective interpretation of their meaning based on your personal state. If the speaker says something then the words should be taken according to the speakers emotional state, not the listener's. If the speaker is not developed enough to know how to speak correctly or respectfully (which is normally the case), then why should an objective listener get upset with their words? The listener often reacts unnecessarily because they listen with their own subjective opinion of what is said, not really hearing what is said, or meant by the speaker. It could be intended as neutral, but taken as intentionally attacking, and that is the listeners mistake.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT....
THANK YOU LORD...
THANK YOU LORD FOR THE FORESIGHT TO LEAVE SITUATIONS BEFORE THEY GET TO FAR OUT OF HAND THAT I NO LONGER HAVE CONTROL. WHILE I UNDERSTAND I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS TO ME, I CAN CONTROL HOW I REACT.
THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING ME THE FORESIGHT TO LEAVE SITUATIONS THAT ULTIMATELY WOULD HAVE CAUSED ME ME HEARTACHE, PAIN OR LOSS OF SANITY.
BECAUSE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME (AND EVERYONE ELSE)FORESIGHT I AM ABLE TO CONTINUE SMILING, BEING HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND NOT ENDING UP A BITTER PERSON.
THANK YOU LORD FOR THE FORESIGHT TO LEAVE SITUATIONS BEFORE THEY GET TO FAR OUT OF HAND THAT I NO LONGER HAVE CONTROL. WHILE I UNDERSTAND I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT HAPPENS TO ME, I CAN CONTROL HOW I REACT.
THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING ME THE FORESIGHT TO LEAVE SITUATIONS THAT ULTIMATELY WOULD HAVE CAUSED ME ME HEARTACHE, PAIN OR LOSS OF SANITY.
BECAUSE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME (AND EVERYONE ELSE)FORESIGHT I AM ABLE TO CONTINUE SMILING, BEING HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND NOT ENDING UP A BITTER PERSON.
WHEN LOVE IT NOT ENOUGH...
We think that the hardest thing in a relationship is finding the right person. After that, we fall in love and live happily ever after, right? Those in a relationship know all too well that fairy tales are only true in the movies. The truth of the matter is that having and maintaining a relationship is not easy. The rate of divorce tells us that love is not enough; other factors are needed to keep a relationship going.
It is interesting to note that women tend to call for assistance more frequently than men do, but I believe this has to do with the fact that males have been socialized to be tough and handle all problems. Women on the other hand are reared to ask for assistance. Men need to learn to ask for help.
Communication problems are a major source for relationship problems. People in most cases just do not know how to talk to each other. Usually, the couple has spent years arguing, fighting or even avoiding problems, but the inevitable occurs, someone reaches the end of their rope. Loss of trust, confusion over whether we still love each other, fights all the time and the inability to agree on anything are some of the cues to recognize that a relationship is having serious communication problems. Many times a child’s misbehavior and conduct problems at home or school are directly related to a couple’s inability to communicate.
The goal of the counseling process is to teach the couple specific skills that are essential in keeping a relationship alive and growing. Many times the couples that I have seen had a deficit in one or more of the essential ingredients needed to cook up a great relationship. I don’t want to mislead anyone, love is important to a relationship. It is the catalyst that gets the whole thing going, but the following are ingredients that keep the love alive and the relationship healthy.
TWO MATURE INDIVIDUALS
A mature individual is defind as a person who has a sense of self. He/she is able to recognize that both members in the relationship are different. They are able to see that each has a different heritage, a different way of thinking, feeling and possibly different beliefs. The mature person is able to recognize the I, Me and the Us in the relationship. With all the differences in personalities, thoughts and feelings, it’s a wonder that we got together in the first place.
Without the element of maturity, a couple can get all messed up just because they lose themselves in a relationship. They can become jealous, dependent, resentful and distant. All of which can erode the reason the couple became a couple in the first place.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
The ability to tell each other thoughts, feelings and wants is so important to a relationship. Good, open, and honest communication is like oil to a car. Without oil in the car, internal parts will burn up and the car will be ready for the scrap pile. Communication is important!
There are no mind readers. For a relationship to grow and prosper, likes, dislikes, desires, hopes, dreams and problems need to be said. If a couple’s communication is restricted, the relationship is destined for major problems down the road. We take cars for oil changes to keep them going strong, why not seek a professional’s assistance to change our communication patterns in order to keep the relationship in tip top shape just like our automobiles?
THE ABILITY TO CHANGE
Relationships are not static. They are ever changing. If they become static for too long, they can become extinct like the dinosaurs. Relationships go through a life cycle: the honeymoon, with children, mid-life crisis, the empty nest and the reacquainting period and then death of a spouse and the end of the relationship. All of these stages require change, learning and exploration of new territory. If one or both members in the relationship becomes rigid and resistant to needed changes the relationship could end in divorce. In my opinion, one of the major reasons that couples end in divorce is because they were unable to change to meet the new needs and demands of the relationship. One or both were unable or unwilling to make the needed changes to keep the relationship growing; as a result, the relationship died. Change we must, it is part of the human condition. If it was not, we would all still be infants in diapers.
ABILITY TO COMPROMISE
The ability to compromise refers to an individual’s willingness and proficiency at finding the middle ground. Being able to compromise is a sign of maturity. It is also needed in any relationship. If one person always gets his/her way, the other person is bound to feel dominated, and resentful. These negative feelings can rip the heart right out of any relationship. Finding the happy middle can provide the best of both worlds… giving and receiving. Sharing the last dish of ice cream with a friend is always better than eating it all alone, isn’t it?
A WILLINGNESS TO WORK TOGETHER
A relationship is like a business partnership; it has common goals, assets and liabilities. Like in a business, if members don’t work together, the business will become ineffective and possibly not exist for too long. The ability to work together means recognizing each person’s strengths and helping them come out at the same time recognizing each member’s weaknesses and learning to turn weaknesses into assets. Two heads are better than one and if couples follow this rule, they will see that the deep depressing valleys that lie ahead may be nothing more than pot holes once they approach them.
KNOWING WHEN TO BACK OFF
Every one needs room to breath, room to sort out their own thoughts, feelings and problems. If someone is always hanging on you, there is a tendency to want to push them off to reduce the burden of carrying them all the time. Providing individual spaces gives any individual the ability to see things more clearly.
SUPPORT AND TRUST
One of the benefits of a relationship is that we will have someone in our corner to support us and to affirm our existence. This support adds to the trust that is needed in any relationship. Without mutual support, a trusting relationship will not develop. Each member must have its emotional needs met in order to continue to invest in the relationship. The continued support and the being there for the other person emotionally is the way in which trust is developed. If a trusting relationship is cultivated and maintained, the ability to try new adventures and take new risks are enhanced. A supportive trusting relationship outside of the bedroom always increases the activity in the bedroom.
LOVE, HUGS, KISSES AND LOVEMAKING
The open expression of feeling in any relationship is vital to the continued growth of the relationship. Lovemaking should not be overlooked in a relationship, but it need not be the only ingredient that exists in a relationship either. Lovemaking is the icing on the cake and it gets there by mixing all of the above mentioned ingredients.
Good lovemaking starts outside of the bedroom. If you want to increase the frequency and intensity of your lovemaking, try to increase the frequency and intensity of your communication, willingness to work as a team, sharing of self, being kind and supportive, give space and freedom to explore individual interests. All of these ingredients will add to the makings of a fine, wonderfully iced cake.
A WORD ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
If you are in a relationship and are experiencing some problems and don’t know what to do, a trained professional can provide you with:
Support
A listening ear
Directions
Guidance
Communication Training
You owe it to yourself and your mate to find answers to your struggles. Remember, no one is trained on how to have a great relationship, so we are bound to run into problems.
It is interesting to note that women tend to call for assistance more frequently than men do, but I believe this has to do with the fact that males have been socialized to be tough and handle all problems. Women on the other hand are reared to ask for assistance. Men need to learn to ask for help.
Communication problems are a major source for relationship problems. People in most cases just do not know how to talk to each other. Usually, the couple has spent years arguing, fighting or even avoiding problems, but the inevitable occurs, someone reaches the end of their rope. Loss of trust, confusion over whether we still love each other, fights all the time and the inability to agree on anything are some of the cues to recognize that a relationship is having serious communication problems. Many times a child’s misbehavior and conduct problems at home or school are directly related to a couple’s inability to communicate.
The goal of the counseling process is to teach the couple specific skills that are essential in keeping a relationship alive and growing. Many times the couples that I have seen had a deficit in one or more of the essential ingredients needed to cook up a great relationship. I don’t want to mislead anyone, love is important to a relationship. It is the catalyst that gets the whole thing going, but the following are ingredients that keep the love alive and the relationship healthy.
TWO MATURE INDIVIDUALS
A mature individual is defind as a person who has a sense of self. He/she is able to recognize that both members in the relationship are different. They are able to see that each has a different heritage, a different way of thinking, feeling and possibly different beliefs. The mature person is able to recognize the I, Me and the Us in the relationship. With all the differences in personalities, thoughts and feelings, it’s a wonder that we got together in the first place.
Without the element of maturity, a couple can get all messed up just because they lose themselves in a relationship. They can become jealous, dependent, resentful and distant. All of which can erode the reason the couple became a couple in the first place.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
The ability to tell each other thoughts, feelings and wants is so important to a relationship. Good, open, and honest communication is like oil to a car. Without oil in the car, internal parts will burn up and the car will be ready for the scrap pile. Communication is important!
There are no mind readers. For a relationship to grow and prosper, likes, dislikes, desires, hopes, dreams and problems need to be said. If a couple’s communication is restricted, the relationship is destined for major problems down the road. We take cars for oil changes to keep them going strong, why not seek a professional’s assistance to change our communication patterns in order to keep the relationship in tip top shape just like our automobiles?
THE ABILITY TO CHANGE
Relationships are not static. They are ever changing. If they become static for too long, they can become extinct like the dinosaurs. Relationships go through a life cycle: the honeymoon, with children, mid-life crisis, the empty nest and the reacquainting period and then death of a spouse and the end of the relationship. All of these stages require change, learning and exploration of new territory. If one or both members in the relationship becomes rigid and resistant to needed changes the relationship could end in divorce. In my opinion, one of the major reasons that couples end in divorce is because they were unable to change to meet the new needs and demands of the relationship. One or both were unable or unwilling to make the needed changes to keep the relationship growing; as a result, the relationship died. Change we must, it is part of the human condition. If it was not, we would all still be infants in diapers.
ABILITY TO COMPROMISE
The ability to compromise refers to an individual’s willingness and proficiency at finding the middle ground. Being able to compromise is a sign of maturity. It is also needed in any relationship. If one person always gets his/her way, the other person is bound to feel dominated, and resentful. These negative feelings can rip the heart right out of any relationship. Finding the happy middle can provide the best of both worlds… giving and receiving. Sharing the last dish of ice cream with a friend is always better than eating it all alone, isn’t it?
A WILLINGNESS TO WORK TOGETHER
A relationship is like a business partnership; it has common goals, assets and liabilities. Like in a business, if members don’t work together, the business will become ineffective and possibly not exist for too long. The ability to work together means recognizing each person’s strengths and helping them come out at the same time recognizing each member’s weaknesses and learning to turn weaknesses into assets. Two heads are better than one and if couples follow this rule, they will see that the deep depressing valleys that lie ahead may be nothing more than pot holes once they approach them.
KNOWING WHEN TO BACK OFF
Every one needs room to breath, room to sort out their own thoughts, feelings and problems. If someone is always hanging on you, there is a tendency to want to push them off to reduce the burden of carrying them all the time. Providing individual spaces gives any individual the ability to see things more clearly.
SUPPORT AND TRUST
One of the benefits of a relationship is that we will have someone in our corner to support us and to affirm our existence. This support adds to the trust that is needed in any relationship. Without mutual support, a trusting relationship will not develop. Each member must have its emotional needs met in order to continue to invest in the relationship. The continued support and the being there for the other person emotionally is the way in which trust is developed. If a trusting relationship is cultivated and maintained, the ability to try new adventures and take new risks are enhanced. A supportive trusting relationship outside of the bedroom always increases the activity in the bedroom.
LOVE, HUGS, KISSES AND LOVEMAKING
The open expression of feeling in any relationship is vital to the continued growth of the relationship. Lovemaking should not be overlooked in a relationship, but it need not be the only ingredient that exists in a relationship either. Lovemaking is the icing on the cake and it gets there by mixing all of the above mentioned ingredients.
Good lovemaking starts outside of the bedroom. If you want to increase the frequency and intensity of your lovemaking, try to increase the frequency and intensity of your communication, willingness to work as a team, sharing of self, being kind and supportive, give space and freedom to explore individual interests. All of these ingredients will add to the makings of a fine, wonderfully iced cake.
A WORD ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
If you are in a relationship and are experiencing some problems and don’t know what to do, a trained professional can provide you with:
Support
A listening ear
Directions
Guidance
Communication Training
You owe it to yourself and your mate to find answers to your struggles. Remember, no one is trained on how to have a great relationship, so we are bound to run into problems.
August 26, 2009
August 25, 2009
...SO FINE I WOULD DRINK HER BATH WATER....
THE FINEST OF ALL THE CHILDREN FROM DESTINY'S CHIDREN...
August 24, 2009
August 22, 2009
SOMETHING FOR ALL MY PEOPLE LOOKING FOR LOVE...
Does it feel like ya
You're never gonna find it
Does it feel like ya
Always one step behind it
Does it feel like ya
Out in this world alone 'cause you been lookin and prayin for love so long
Does it feel like ya
Wishing on a falling star
Does it feel like ya
Lonely and it breaks your heart
'Cause it feels like ya
Ready to let down your guard
Finding somebdy's just so hard
[Pre-Chorus:]
How do you find the one you dream about (how do u find it yeah)
If I knew I'd tell you how (swear to God swear to God)
It's kinda hard for me to figure out (and I know you're ready to settle down)
I know you're ready to settle down
If there's a God above please tell me
[Chorus:]
Tell me will I ever fall in love
Will I be alone forever
Will I ever fall in love
Or will I be alone forever
[Verse 2:]
Does it feel like ya
Moving too fast
Does it feel like ya
Want something you can't have
Does it feel like ya
Living in the past
And the thought of going home alone again makes you sad
Does it feel like ya
Feeling so bad
Does it feel like ya
Getting so mad
'Cause it feels like ya
Just want someone to call
To tell ya that you're human after all
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
[Bridge:]
To fall in love (I would do anything, anything)
To fall in love
To fall in love, love, love, love
To fall in love
To fall in love
You're never gonna find it
Does it feel like ya
Always one step behind it
Does it feel like ya
Out in this world alone 'cause you been lookin and prayin for love so long
Does it feel like ya
Wishing on a falling star
Does it feel like ya
Lonely and it breaks your heart
'Cause it feels like ya
Ready to let down your guard
Finding somebdy's just so hard
[Pre-Chorus:]
How do you find the one you dream about (how do u find it yeah)
If I knew I'd tell you how (swear to God swear to God)
It's kinda hard for me to figure out (and I know you're ready to settle down)
I know you're ready to settle down
If there's a God above please tell me
[Chorus:]
Tell me will I ever fall in love
Will I be alone forever
Will I ever fall in love
Or will I be alone forever
[Verse 2:]
Does it feel like ya
Moving too fast
Does it feel like ya
Want something you can't have
Does it feel like ya
Living in the past
And the thought of going home alone again makes you sad
Does it feel like ya
Feeling so bad
Does it feel like ya
Getting so mad
'Cause it feels like ya
Just want someone to call
To tell ya that you're human after all
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
[Bridge:]
To fall in love (I would do anything, anything)
To fall in love
To fall in love, love, love, love
To fall in love
To fall in love
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