CONDOMS 101...EVEN IDIOTS CANT FUCK UP...

MORE condom news? Yes, please, I guess! So let’s recap: in these last few months of the Year of the Condom (that’s this year), we’ve found out, on the one hand, that condoms are bad for you and you might as well just pull up anchor instead, but on the other hand, that they can make for racy pillows and even racier commercials.

Now word comes that there is a new kind of condom in town for girls. But this condom is less like a condom and more like Pam No-Stick Oven Spray for your vagina. Reality: a pourable condom. Realer reality: it may be the best invention of our era…

The gel is liquid as long as it is in contact with the acidity that is normal in a vagina, but will turn solid when it encounters semen, which is slightly alkaline. Any particles wider than 50 nanometres – including sperm, HIV and other viruses such as the herpes virus and the papilloma virus, which causes cervical cancer – are trapped, so the gel could double up as both a protectant and a contraceptive.

Just spray some on before you leave the house in the morning! Cleans even the toughest of AIDSes!

The objective is to give women in countries where HIV is rife a cheap way to protect themselves from viruses and pregnancy even if their partner is unwilling to wear a condom.

Somewhere, Alfred Nobel is just going nuts in his grave like, “THIS is what I made the f*cking Nobel Prize for! THIS IS THE BIG SHOW!” A condom you can’t see, feel, or “forget to wear” that traps all that bad news and could put an end to the AIDS epidemic? The best thing to happen to sex, woman-wise, since pineapple juice. The only unanswered question here is, does it also work if you pour it in the– no, the question is, does it also protect the man? Unclear from the article.