I am a longtime reader and subscriber of Essence magazine. In fact, my mother loves to tell people that she first realized I could actually read (before preschool, honestly!) when I picked up a copy at her friend's house and read the cover aloud. Essence has the daunting task of serving Black women from practically ages birth to death and, for the most part, I feel they have done an excellent job. Have there been things in Essence over the years I didn't agree with? Of course. I'm largely anti-pop culture and no magazine has ever totally spoke to the 'essence' of me. Shoot, I go back and look at entries on my own blog from two years ago and want to smack the author. But I will say that the Reggie Bush cover deeply disappointed me. Other sisters are infuriated and I don't think it's hard to tell why.
Even Black women who take no moral or social issue with interracial dating tend to be sensitive about the number of Black entertainers and athletes who choose non-Black women as wives and girlfriends. And at times, that sensitivity speaks to the caliber of the woman in question. For example, I can't stomach Taye Diggs for the comments he made about Black women who failed to support his ABC series, claiming that it was due to his White wife. I take issue with him for his criticism, as it seems that Black women MADE his career and he didn't mention the fact that if White men and women or Black men had watched his show, it would have still been on the air. However, I know that his wife is a woman who starred in plays with him. A peer, a colleague. Does it make me jump for joy to see them together? No, especially considering his bitterness towards sisters. But it makes sense that someone could fall in love with a peer, right?
Kim Kardashian became famous for for being the friend of Paris Hilton and for being in a sex tape with Brandy's brother. She has a reality show in she portrays herself as a seemingly vapid, shallow woman. Kardashian is beautiful, and she's also known for a body part that is largely associated with Black women. We all know that had Kim Kardashian been a Black woman, she would be considered damaged goods and it would be HIGHLY unlikely that she'd be wifed up by a man in the spotlight. The same men who write off sisters for what they perceive to be overly sexual reputations laud Reggie for having "a bad chick" like Kardashian by his side.
Don't try this at home, sisters. You won't soon recover.
A lot of our ire about interrcial dating is about the seemingly different standards the Black men who date other women have for them as opposed to for us. On what planet would a Black 22-year-old domestic get to marry a Stanford grad who is one of the world's most successful athletes? Or the Kendra woman from "Girls Next Door": could a Black woman jump from Hugh Hefner's bed to the altar with a handsome pro-baller? What Black female could escape a sex tape scandal only to become a telvision star with a gorgeous, succesful boyfriend? Do you see famous or successful White men rolling around town with Black women of questionable accomplishment or ill repute? This isn't just celebrity territory, I've known men who had impossible standards for the Black women they dated, only to settle for the most marginal of women when they were of another race.
Is it hard to imagine why seeing her man on the cover of Essence was not a feel good moment for many of us?
Eye candy is eye candy, but unlike men, many women can't quite turn their brains off so easily to enjoy it. While Reggie Bush would be no more available to us were he married to a Black neurosurgeon, there's just something that doesn't feel right about seeing him on the cover of a magazine for Black women. The fact that it is the February issue and the words "Black Love" appear on the cover make the whole thing even more messy. With all the information we are getting these days about The Single Black Woman Crisis, I don't really want to see a brother who has removed himself from the single Black woman dating pool with (of all people) Kim Kardashian.
A sister posted a forward to a Howard alumni e-group I belong to, filled with pictures of handsome, famous Black men. It was a joking counterpoint to pics of Stacey Dash and Melyssa Ford that had been posted for the fellas. A male friend of mine responded "Those negroes represent about 17 relationships with white women! LOL. Fantasize all you like ladies." It was a slap in the face. A reminder that we aren't even free to fantasise without being reminded that we are not the stuff our fantasy men's dreams are made of. Not because we don't all look like video models or movie stars, but because we are the same race as these men.
Someone stated on Twitter yesterday: "Isn't it likely that Reggie was chosen by Black women to be on the cover of Essence?" I'd say absolutely. And those sisters made a choice that many of us don't agree with. I'm not angry, I'm let down. R. Kelly on the cover would be despicable. This is merely...disappointing.
I look to Essence to feel affirmed and inspired. The world outside is doing a fine job at telling me that Black women are not always 'in vogue'. And while I expect Essence to print stories that do call my attention to the more painful aspects of Black female life, I'd rather the men we drool over in between the pages of Essence could at least be the men who are more likely to lust after us back. Even if it's just a fantasy.
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