A FEW THINGS I AGREE YOU OR I SHOULD (PROBABLY) NEVER DO AFTER THE AGE 30....

1. Use the word party as a verb.

2. Shots. (I LIKE SHOTS! WE CAN KEEP DOING THIS ONE)

3. Body shots. (DEPENDS ON WHOSE BODY AND WHERE YOU ARE DOING THEM, I.E. HOME VS. BAR)

5. Read a book with the words Zen and the Art of in the title.

7. Help friends move. (I STOPPED DOING THIS AT 25)

8. Ask friends to help you move.

9. Crash on a friend's floor or couch. (STOPPED DOING THIS AT 21)

10. Refer to breasts as "chesticles." (IGNORANT)

11. Experiment with facial hair.

12. Let your underpants show above your jeans or below your shorts. (GREAT ONE)

15. Own a skull bong. (DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU SMOKE)

16. Know the names of the current Real World cast. (THIS IS A FUNNY, GOOD ONE)

17. Remove your shirt in public--unless there is sand and a large body of water nearby. (OR UNLESS YOU JUST HAVE IT LIKE THAT)

18. Use the word dude, except when referring to a ranch or a well-dressed Englishman. (I LIKE AND USE THE WORD DUDE)

19. Use the word dawg in a sentence when referring to a friend or, worse, yourself.

20. Own a futon. (STOPPED OWNING ONE AFTER 21)

21. Own a beanbag chair. (WTF!!)

22. Hang art framelessly. (WORKING ON THIS ONE)

24. Drink malternative beverages. (DO ZUMAS COUNT)

26. Google ex-girlfriends.

27. Break up with a girlfriend OR boyfriend by e-mail. (REAL IGNORANT)

31. Live with someone you don't sleep with. (TOO OLD FOR ROOMMATES...STOPPED THIS AFTER 25)

32. Share a hotel room with someone you don't sleep with. (DEPENDS ON HOW EXPENSIVE THE CITY AND HOW CLOSE YOU ARE WITH THE PERSON)

33. Play fantasy sports.

34. Divide a restaurant bill with a friend in any way other than 50-50.(I PAY FOR WHAT I ORDERED)

35. Sleep past 10:30. (WHAT ABOUT AFTER A REALLY, REALLY LONG NIGHT OR A SPECIAL HOLIDAY?)

36. Refer to a woman's genitalia as her "nappy dugout." (STUPID)

37. Cook exclusively on a George Foreman grill. (HEY EVERYBODY STRIVES TO BE A CHEF)

38. Wear a jersey with the name of a professional athlete on the back.

39. Employ any other pickup line besides "Hi, my name is _____. What's yours?"

41. Use Internet acronyms, especially ROFL and LOL. (RETARDED)

42. Shave any part of your body except your face. (STRONGLY DISAGREE)

43. Enjoy Jerry Bruckheimer movies.

45. Attend Mardi Gras, Carnaval, or Burning Man. (30 IS WHEN YOU CAN ACTUALLY REALLY AFFORD AND APPRECIATE CARNIVAL, TRUST ME)

46. Own a fish tank.

47. Fall asleep in public. (ESPECIALLY AT CHURCH-IM PERSONALLY WORKING ON THAT ONE)

48. Call drugs by their street names (e.g., junk, smack, or whitebag).

49. Pick a fistfight by thrusting out your neck, flexing, and screaming, "It's go time!" (THIS MADE ME LAUGH....HARD!)