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July 27, 2011
THE WEALTH GAP BETWEEN WHITES AND MINORTIES WIDENS....
According to U.S. Census data analyzed by the Pew Research Center, the media net worth of a white family now stands at 20 times that of a Black family and 18 times that of a Hispanic family, roughly twice the gap that existed in 1984. The average wealth of white U.S. households in 2009 was $113,149, compared with with $6,325 for Hispanics and $5,677 for African Americans.
Here's why according to the Pew researcher Rakesh Kochhar:
"The bursting of the housing bubble in the great recession has been much harder on minority households than on white households. White households have been more diversified -- they are more likely to own stocks and bonds."
Between 2005 and 2009, the median net worth of Hispanic households dropped by 66 percent and that of black households fell by 53 percent, according to the report. In contrast, the median net worth of white households dropped by only 16 percent.
“The lopsided wealth ratios are the largest since the government began publishing such data a quarter century ago,” said the report, “Wealth Gaps Rise to Record Highs Between Whites, Blacks and Hispanics.”
In non-racial financial news, between 2005 and 2009 the wealthiest 10% of households went from owning 49% to 56% of American wealth.
Here's why according to the Pew researcher Rakesh Kochhar:
"The bursting of the housing bubble in the great recession has been much harder on minority households than on white households. White households have been more diversified -- they are more likely to own stocks and bonds."
Between 2005 and 2009, the median net worth of Hispanic households dropped by 66 percent and that of black households fell by 53 percent, according to the report. In contrast, the median net worth of white households dropped by only 16 percent.
“The lopsided wealth ratios are the largest since the government began publishing such data a quarter century ago,” said the report, “Wealth Gaps Rise to Record Highs Between Whites, Blacks and Hispanics.”
In non-racial financial news, between 2005 and 2009 the wealthiest 10% of households went from owning 49% to 56% of American wealth.
THANK GOD FOR SMALL FAVORS....MONIQUE SHOW CANCELED!!!!
Earlier today, I heard that “The Mo’Nique Show” had been axed. I had sent an email out to various BET publicists to ask what was up. No word back.
At about 1:30 p.m., I called Rodney Perry, who was Mo’Nique’s sidekick on the show. He said he was running into a meeting and didn’t answer my question. While I was at lunch over at the mall court, at 1:40 p.m. EST, he texted me: “I was told indefinite hiatus.”
That’s a euphemism for canceled.
In an interview I did at 2:40 p.m., the stand-up comic said he enjoyed the experience working with Mo’Nique. “I’m selling out shows now,” he said. “That’s a win.” He heard the news from Mo’Nique’s husband but hasn’t spoken to the Oscar-winning actress yet. (He wouldn’t say when he knew about this, implying he has known for awhile.)
“We did some good work,” Perry said. “And I think the show is significant. There hasn’t been an outlet for people of color late night since Arsenio.”
The talk show, which Mo’Nique compared to a high-energy nightly party, lasted two seasons and had been taped in Turner Studios, which are now being used for BET’s show “Reed Between the Lines” through October. When I heard that earlier today, I wondered if that meant “Mo’Nique” was not coming back or had been moved to another studio. If her show were coming back, she would be taping by August. (Like many shows, it does not tape original episodes during the summer.)
This didn’t appear to be an issue of ratings. I didn’t have time to do an entire season’s check on ratings so I sampled four weeks in April, 2011 vs. April 2010. Ratings from April 5 to April 29, 2010 averaged 615,000 viewers a night. From April 4 to April 28, 2011, her show averaged 586,000. That’s only a five percent drop.
Mediatakeout, which broke the story, said there were conflicts between BET management and Mo’Nique. Was it creative and/or financial? The story does not say. It also doesn’t say if BET will seek another talk-show host or just drop the concept.
Perry isn’t sure why the show was cut but thinks it might have been a financial decision. “They haven’t had this type of investment ever,” he said. “We did 300 shows over two seasons. That’s a huge investment.”
At about 1:30 p.m., I called Rodney Perry, who was Mo’Nique’s sidekick on the show. He said he was running into a meeting and didn’t answer my question. While I was at lunch over at the mall court, at 1:40 p.m. EST, he texted me: “I was told indefinite hiatus.”
That’s a euphemism for canceled.
In an interview I did at 2:40 p.m., the stand-up comic said he enjoyed the experience working with Mo’Nique. “I’m selling out shows now,” he said. “That’s a win.” He heard the news from Mo’Nique’s husband but hasn’t spoken to the Oscar-winning actress yet. (He wouldn’t say when he knew about this, implying he has known for awhile.)
“We did some good work,” Perry said. “And I think the show is significant. There hasn’t been an outlet for people of color late night since Arsenio.”
The talk show, which Mo’Nique compared to a high-energy nightly party, lasted two seasons and had been taped in Turner Studios, which are now being used for BET’s show “Reed Between the Lines” through October. When I heard that earlier today, I wondered if that meant “Mo’Nique” was not coming back or had been moved to another studio. If her show were coming back, she would be taping by August. (Like many shows, it does not tape original episodes during the summer.)
This didn’t appear to be an issue of ratings. I didn’t have time to do an entire season’s check on ratings so I sampled four weeks in April, 2011 vs. April 2010. Ratings from April 5 to April 29, 2010 averaged 615,000 viewers a night. From April 4 to April 28, 2011, her show averaged 586,000. That’s only a five percent drop.
Mediatakeout, which broke the story, said there were conflicts between BET management and Mo’Nique. Was it creative and/or financial? The story does not say. It also doesn’t say if BET will seek another talk-show host or just drop the concept.
Perry isn’t sure why the show was cut but thinks it might have been a financial decision. “They haven’t had this type of investment ever,” he said. “We did 300 shows over two seasons. That’s a huge investment.”
July 26, 2011
KNOWING WHEN TO LET GO...
Holding on to something that may not be meant for you can actually be worse than letting it go. Everything in your life is here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.. Love yourself enough to realize when it's time to let go..
SHOUT OUT TO DOLEMITE....READ THESE LYRICS....
I remember the day Hurricane Annie was born.
It was the day of the great Miami, Florida storm.
Now it goes back to when that notorious Pimpin Sam told that first class whore Sally,
"I'm gonna give you a fuck like any common trick in the alley."
He said, "It's snowin' outside and it's so goddamn cold,
Come on in here cause I feel like I wanna fuck up a piss hole!
Now, I know that you know the course of my nature, and I don't mean maybe.
I make all my ho's suck my dick cause I ain't got time for no babies.
But it keeps snowin and rainin and you done made me a load of money,
like the king of bees I'm gonna drop you a load of honey.
So drop yo drawers and get your legs open wide.
Cause I'm gonna knock open yo pussy and put this load deep down inside!"
They fucked all that day and through the snow and through the rain.
That night she screamed with dellight from that good feelin pain.
"Ooo wee! Daddy! I'm caight up with a baby and I wonder what's gonna be it's name?"
Sam said, "If it's a boy you gonna call it Rain, Sleet, Storm, or Hail
Good fucking junior, righteous daddy.
But if it's a girl name her Hurricane Annie.
So Hurricane Annie was born, pretty little thing.
All the pimps, the whores, the bull daggers, the cocksuckers gave hundred
dollar bills just to see this little girl of fame.
She was the best whore on any block.
She went from city to city,
Fuckin the mayors, the senators, the presidents, and the whole government lot.
She sold some to a policeman, all the neighbors had a grudge.
She said, "I don't give a good goddamn, cause I just sold a hot piece to a judge!"
She finally went to New York City.
And you know New York City has some whores of great fame:
Madame Nell, Miss Mabel, and Fanny.
All these bitches hid out, cause they knew the reputation of Hurricane Annie.
All these whores was good lookin... dresses in Satin and drawers trimmed in lace.
But all of these whores knew that Hurricane Annie's ass would make any of them a brand new face.
So the land lady gave out room number thirteen to Hurrican Annie.
Said, "Young Lady, I'm gonna treat you like my daughter."
And Hurricane Annie made money in that house like a well pouring water.
Finally Dolemite came to town, sharp baby.
Wearin $500 alligator huster shoes, $1000 pimpin and hustlin suit, $300 stingy brim hat.
Natural to the brim, baby.
$10,000 diamond ring and fuckin whores was his middle name.
He told the land lady, "I wanna fuck every whore you got.
Don't worry about the money or what it cost,
Cause all down South they call me 'Dolemite: the big boss,'
I really work out!
And I bet $100 you ain't got a whore that can turn me out!"
Said, "I've paid whores by the hundred dollar bill.
I've fucked 'em till they pissed, shit, cum, and break out in cold chills!"
The land lady said, "My, my, you talk alot."
Said, "If green is the color of yo money,
I want you to hold out il you've fucked oevery whore I got."
Said, "I got em from room 1 through 20,
And to fuck all the good cock professional bitches,
It's gonna take a whole lotta money!"
So Dolemite began to fuck in New York City.
From room to room, knockin out whores.
He fucked over Madame Nell's shy neighbor.
Split the cock of Sara, Sue, Rebecca and Lulabelle.
Then Hurricane Annie had already heard the news,
About this bad fuckin muthafucka that was on the loose.
About how he was splittin assholes and tearing up cock.
Hurricane Annie said, "I'll stop this bad muthafucka if it takes everything I got."
Hurricane Annie could make the average trick cum with the winking of her eye.
Make cocksuckers cum from just lookin at the workings of her thighs.
Hurricane Annie said, "I'm the greatest ho who ever did it!"
Said, "I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna be out-fucked by Dolemite here in New York City!"
The land lady told Dolemite to go to room number 13.
Take off his clothes and get in bed.
The most gorgeous whore he'd ever seen stepped into the room.
Naked from her feet to her head.
She had eyes like diamonds, teeth like pearls.
Long, black wavy hair on her head and cock, layin in curls.
Her tits stood up like soldiers, ass looked like a butter bowl.
She was a stone soul sister, full of soul.
She began to cut the lights on and off until it began to seem frightening.
She said, "Ooo Dolemite, that is the lightning."
And said, "You ain't never seen a hurricane come without lightning have you daddy?"
Then she jumped in the bed with Dolemite,
And farted so loud till the springs rumbled and the bed broke down.
She said, "Ooo wee daddy," said "That is the thunder!"
Said, "You ain't never seen a Hurricane come without thunder, have you daddy?"
Then she jumped across Dolemite's head and pissed a steady stream.
She said, "Don't feel no pain daddy, that ain't nothin but the rain."
Said, "You ain't ever seen a Hurricane come without rain, have you daddy?"
Dolemite said, "Bitch, I'm Dolemite! A big piece of leather, well put together!
And I'll be goddamned if I can't fuck in any kind of weather!"
Hurricane Annie said, "Ooo Dolemite! I'm gonna have to challenge you to a duel."
So they fucked all through the thunder and all through the rain.
Forty nights and forty days. Forty days and forty nights.
Dolemite didn't even stop to get a bite.
Then I heard Hurricane Annie holering, "Oh! Oh! OH! OH! OH! MAMA!
Please come get this bad fuckin muthafucka called Dolemite!"
It was the day of the great Miami, Florida storm.
Now it goes back to when that notorious Pimpin Sam told that first class whore Sally,
"I'm gonna give you a fuck like any common trick in the alley."
He said, "It's snowin' outside and it's so goddamn cold,
Come on in here cause I feel like I wanna fuck up a piss hole!
Now, I know that you know the course of my nature, and I don't mean maybe.
I make all my ho's suck my dick cause I ain't got time for no babies.
But it keeps snowin and rainin and you done made me a load of money,
like the king of bees I'm gonna drop you a load of honey.
So drop yo drawers and get your legs open wide.
Cause I'm gonna knock open yo pussy and put this load deep down inside!"
They fucked all that day and through the snow and through the rain.
That night she screamed with dellight from that good feelin pain.
"Ooo wee! Daddy! I'm caight up with a baby and I wonder what's gonna be it's name?"
Sam said, "If it's a boy you gonna call it Rain, Sleet, Storm, or Hail
Good fucking junior, righteous daddy.
But if it's a girl name her Hurricane Annie.
So Hurricane Annie was born, pretty little thing.
All the pimps, the whores, the bull daggers, the cocksuckers gave hundred
dollar bills just to see this little girl of fame.
She was the best whore on any block.
She went from city to city,
Fuckin the mayors, the senators, the presidents, and the whole government lot.
She sold some to a policeman, all the neighbors had a grudge.
She said, "I don't give a good goddamn, cause I just sold a hot piece to a judge!"
She finally went to New York City.
And you know New York City has some whores of great fame:
Madame Nell, Miss Mabel, and Fanny.
All these bitches hid out, cause they knew the reputation of Hurricane Annie.
All these whores was good lookin... dresses in Satin and drawers trimmed in lace.
But all of these whores knew that Hurricane Annie's ass would make any of them a brand new face.
So the land lady gave out room number thirteen to Hurrican Annie.
Said, "Young Lady, I'm gonna treat you like my daughter."
And Hurricane Annie made money in that house like a well pouring water.
Finally Dolemite came to town, sharp baby.
Wearin $500 alligator huster shoes, $1000 pimpin and hustlin suit, $300 stingy brim hat.
Natural to the brim, baby.
$10,000 diamond ring and fuckin whores was his middle name.
He told the land lady, "I wanna fuck every whore you got.
Don't worry about the money or what it cost,
Cause all down South they call me 'Dolemite: the big boss,'
I really work out!
And I bet $100 you ain't got a whore that can turn me out!"
Said, "I've paid whores by the hundred dollar bill.
I've fucked 'em till they pissed, shit, cum, and break out in cold chills!"
The land lady said, "My, my, you talk alot."
Said, "If green is the color of yo money,
I want you to hold out il you've fucked oevery whore I got."
Said, "I got em from room 1 through 20,
And to fuck all the good cock professional bitches,
It's gonna take a whole lotta money!"
So Dolemite began to fuck in New York City.
From room to room, knockin out whores.
He fucked over Madame Nell's shy neighbor.
Split the cock of Sara, Sue, Rebecca and Lulabelle.
Then Hurricane Annie had already heard the news,
About this bad fuckin muthafucka that was on the loose.
About how he was splittin assholes and tearing up cock.
Hurricane Annie said, "I'll stop this bad muthafucka if it takes everything I got."
Hurricane Annie could make the average trick cum with the winking of her eye.
Make cocksuckers cum from just lookin at the workings of her thighs.
Hurricane Annie said, "I'm the greatest ho who ever did it!"
Said, "I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna be out-fucked by Dolemite here in New York City!"
The land lady told Dolemite to go to room number 13.
Take off his clothes and get in bed.
The most gorgeous whore he'd ever seen stepped into the room.
Naked from her feet to her head.
She had eyes like diamonds, teeth like pearls.
Long, black wavy hair on her head and cock, layin in curls.
Her tits stood up like soldiers, ass looked like a butter bowl.
She was a stone soul sister, full of soul.
She began to cut the lights on and off until it began to seem frightening.
She said, "Ooo Dolemite, that is the lightning."
And said, "You ain't never seen a hurricane come without lightning have you daddy?"
Then she jumped in the bed with Dolemite,
And farted so loud till the springs rumbled and the bed broke down.
She said, "Ooo wee daddy," said "That is the thunder!"
Said, "You ain't never seen a Hurricane come without thunder, have you daddy?"
Then she jumped across Dolemite's head and pissed a steady stream.
She said, "Don't feel no pain daddy, that ain't nothin but the rain."
Said, "You ain't ever seen a Hurricane come without rain, have you daddy?"
Dolemite said, "Bitch, I'm Dolemite! A big piece of leather, well put together!
And I'll be goddamned if I can't fuck in any kind of weather!"
Hurricane Annie said, "Ooo Dolemite! I'm gonna have to challenge you to a duel."
So they fucked all through the thunder and all through the rain.
Forty nights and forty days. Forty days and forty nights.
Dolemite didn't even stop to get a bite.
Then I heard Hurricane Annie holering, "Oh! Oh! OH! OH! OH! MAMA!
Please come get this bad fuckin muthafucka called Dolemite!"
July 25, 2011
EATING ASS 101...
Eating a man's azz is nothing new, but it is becoming a growing trend. Who knew that azz one day will be the other white meat. So there's three steps to going about this.
Step number 1 talk about it and watch videos of others doing it (yes there are porn out there with guy getting his azz eaten out).
In a relationships one person my request it while the other either never thought about it or even wanting to do it. So step 1 is a most and also keep in mind that this step does take time, so allow to get you step 2. Which will be tomorrow.
July 24, 2011
R.I.P. AMY WINEHOUSE....DEAD AT 27
Sad news: British songstress Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London apartment in Camden Square earlier today. She was only 27 years old.
The singer’s body was found by British police around 8 p.m. London time after being called by ambulance services. Winehouse battled drug and alcohol addictions following the 2003 debut of her critically acclaimed album, Frank. Her follow up album, Back To Black, garnered 5 Grammy awards.
Winehouse was never able to balance her need for privacy and being thrust into the harsh glare of the worldwide stage.
She blamed her struggles with drugs and alcohol on being in love in her song “Rehab” which went on to win 3 Grammy Awards for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance.
Winehouse’s addictions — and her attempts to self-medicate her emotional problems — led to numerous stints in drug rehab (both voluntary and involuntary) — and serving time in jail, along with her ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil.
Winehouse will be remembered for her jazzy, soul blues sound and her beehive hair style that took inspiration from the female soul singers of the 60s.
THE IMPORTANCE OF GREAT POSTURE....
Confidence and having confidence, or trying to be cool and making yourself look cool; ultimately these two factors have a big impact on how we dress and how our outfit works. But how many of you have stopped and actually thought seriously about how you are standing? And how it might be affecting the way you look. Good posture doesn’t really figure in the average fashion routine, even though almost all of us will at some point have had the “stand up straight, shoulders back” talk from a parent or other suitable source of authority. I am equally sure that each and every one of us has then deployed the usual acknowledgement of said command and then returned almost immediately, or at least whenever practical, to our prior hunch backed stance.
It is very easy to underestimate just how important having a good posture is, even more so for those that have a keen interest in fashion and the way they dress.
It is very easy to underestimate just how important having a good posture is, even more so for those that have a keen interest in fashion and the way they dress.
July 22, 2011
Creative Director Frank Gatson to Make Feature Film Debut with “B-Boy Blues”
Frank Gatson - the creative director/choreographer known for his work with Michael Jackson, Rihanna, Beyonce, and a host of other musical heavyweights - has recently signed on to make his directorial debut with the feature film adaptation of B-Boy Blues.
B-Boy Blues is the 1994 novel by James Earl Hardy about a middle-class black gay professional who starts a passionate and abusive relationship with a roughneck bike messenger.
Hardy is set to write the screenplay and produce along with Re’Shaun Frear.
It’s not yet confirmed if Beyonce or any of Gatson’s other industry connections will be involved with the project - whether in front of or behind the camera - but we’ll keep you posted.
B-Boy Blues is the 1994 novel by James Earl Hardy about a middle-class black gay professional who starts a passionate and abusive relationship with a roughneck bike messenger.
Hardy is set to write the screenplay and produce along with Re’Shaun Frear.
It’s not yet confirmed if Beyonce or any of Gatson’s other industry connections will be involved with the project - whether in front of or behind the camera - but we’ll keep you posted.
July 21, 2011
ISEN'T IT IRONIC...?
Isnt it ironic, we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us?
July 20, 2011
JUST A THOUGHT....
For all the people who quote the bible on facebook and post sermons from Sunday but don't get their asses up to go to church....Keep wondering why you are missing your blesses!!!
NEVER GIVE UP....MOTIVATION...
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
July 19, 2011
TERRANCE J STARS IN "THINK LIKE A MAN, ACT LIKE A LADY" MOVIE....
When Think Like A Man, the adaptation of Steve Harvey's advice book hits the big screen, it will be star-studded with young Hollywood.
In addition to the aforementioned cast, Terrence J. has joined the cast of the film in a starring role. Interestingly, Terrence and Steve are both members of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc. And since I enjoyed Terrence on "The Game" this season, it will be great to see him stretch out his acting chops.
And today was the first day of production in Los Angeles for Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy and Morris Chestnut.
Kevin tweeted this pic and said, "Day 1 of shooting "Think Like A Man"...I know ya'll saying that I make Morris Chestnut & Michael Ealy look bad! "
In the film, four interconnected and diverse friends have their love lives shaken up after the women they are pursuing buy Steve Harvey’s book and start taking his advice to heart. When the band of brothers find out that they have been betrayed by one of their own, they conspire to use the book’s teachings to turn the tables. Hmm....this sounds pretty funny.
And when asked about the flim, Will Packer, who will produce via his Rainforest Films banner, said,
“Steve Harvey has established himself as one of the funniest and most insightful voices in America. That coupled with an incredible cast makes this an exciting venture.”
And just in case you are keeping track, check out the current roster of celebs who have been awarded roles in the film: Chris Brown, Romany Malco, Gary Owen, Arielle Kebbel, Meagan Good, Lala Anthony, Gabrielle Union, and Regina Hall.. The film is slated for release on April 6, 2012.
Terrence J's business partner Fred recently tweeted:
"Congrats to @TerrenceJ106 on his starring role in the upcoming film @ThinkLikeAMan !!!!!"
In addition to the aforementioned cast, Terrence J. has joined the cast of the film in a starring role. Interestingly, Terrence and Steve are both members of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc. And since I enjoyed Terrence on "The Game" this season, it will be great to see him stretch out his acting chops.
And today was the first day of production in Los Angeles for Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy and Morris Chestnut.
Kevin tweeted this pic and said, "Day 1 of shooting "Think Like A Man"...I know ya'll saying that I make Morris Chestnut & Michael Ealy look bad! "
In the film, four interconnected and diverse friends have their love lives shaken up after the women they are pursuing buy Steve Harvey’s book and start taking his advice to heart. When the band of brothers find out that they have been betrayed by one of their own, they conspire to use the book’s teachings to turn the tables. Hmm....this sounds pretty funny.
And when asked about the flim, Will Packer, who will produce via his Rainforest Films banner, said,
“Steve Harvey has established himself as one of the funniest and most insightful voices in America. That coupled with an incredible cast makes this an exciting venture.”
And just in case you are keeping track, check out the current roster of celebs who have been awarded roles in the film: Chris Brown, Romany Malco, Gary Owen, Arielle Kebbel, Meagan Good, Lala Anthony, Gabrielle Union, and Regina Hall.. The film is slated for release on April 6, 2012.
Terrence J's business partner Fred recently tweeted:
"Congrats to @TerrenceJ106 on his starring role in the upcoming film @ThinkLikeAMan !!!!!"
July 16, 2011
July 13, 2011
IS IT RACIST TO ONLY DATE YOUR OWN RACE?
I had a recent conversation with a female associate – a white woman – who admitted to me that the life partner she was in search of must be a white dude.
As a black male, I had that natural, visceral “why he gotta be a WHITE dude??” response. That type of gut reaction, I think, is to be expected when directed from someone of the majority race to someone of a historically oppressed race. This woman must be a bona fide racist, right. She’d put the first Negro she caught in her net on the spit to feed her dogs if there were no consequences, true?
Fortunately for me, I’m able to move past the emotion to reach the nuances, and I’m not willing to condemn her as a racist scalliwag for her connubial preferences without digging a bit deeper.
Physical attraction is very subjective, and I don’t think it’s much of a coincidence that, by and large, we’re attracted to our own kind. Nor do I think it’s a testament to racism. For example, many of you are not attracted to anyone that’s not a black man, for many reasons. Does that necessarily make you a bigot? Methinks not.
However, there are almost always exceptions to every rule of attraction, so I think most people can’t honestly say they aren’t attracted to any person in a given ethnic group. I’m not attracted to western African women in general, but I’m sure there are some I’d find banging.
The biggest issue for me is when people aren’t attracted to anyone of their OWN ethnicity. I find that odd, but then again I also am not sure if it’s an issue of self-hate so much as it’s a by-product of how and where a person is raised. For example, black men who are raised around nothing but white people in a white school with white friends…I don’t expect them to necessarily be down with the Nubian Bourgetto Hood Princesses (NBHPs), and neither should you.
I realize that we have been conditioned by standards of beauty, but I’ve always thought it far more complicated than being forever programmed to like a certain type of woman based on growing up looking at Cosmopolitan magazine cover women while waiting with our mothers in grocery store lines. I’m no social scientist, but common sense and experience has led me to believe our environmental upbringing is big in our attractions.
Now, if someone is not attracted to another race because they are worried about how they would be perceived, how their friends would think or anything along those lines, that’s racist. Being into someone and rejecting them due solely to the inherent challenges of a mixed relationship is b*tch-made, period.
So while the girl’s response didn’t surprise me, it made me think of how many white girls I’ve tried to mack on throughout the years that felt exactly the same way. It also makes me wonder how many white women I was with that wouldn’t have gone for me if I weren’t high yellow…
As a black male, I had that natural, visceral “why he gotta be a WHITE dude??” response. That type of gut reaction, I think, is to be expected when directed from someone of the majority race to someone of a historically oppressed race. This woman must be a bona fide racist, right. She’d put the first Negro she caught in her net on the spit to feed her dogs if there were no consequences, true?
Fortunately for me, I’m able to move past the emotion to reach the nuances, and I’m not willing to condemn her as a racist scalliwag for her connubial preferences without digging a bit deeper.
Physical attraction is very subjective, and I don’t think it’s much of a coincidence that, by and large, we’re attracted to our own kind. Nor do I think it’s a testament to racism. For example, many of you are not attracted to anyone that’s not a black man, for many reasons. Does that necessarily make you a bigot? Methinks not.
However, there are almost always exceptions to every rule of attraction, so I think most people can’t honestly say they aren’t attracted to any person in a given ethnic group. I’m not attracted to western African women in general, but I’m sure there are some I’d find banging.
The biggest issue for me is when people aren’t attracted to anyone of their OWN ethnicity. I find that odd, but then again I also am not sure if it’s an issue of self-hate so much as it’s a by-product of how and where a person is raised. For example, black men who are raised around nothing but white people in a white school with white friends…I don’t expect them to necessarily be down with the Nubian Bourgetto Hood Princesses (NBHPs), and neither should you.
I realize that we have been conditioned by standards of beauty, but I’ve always thought it far more complicated than being forever programmed to like a certain type of woman based on growing up looking at Cosmopolitan magazine cover women while waiting with our mothers in grocery store lines. I’m no social scientist, but common sense and experience has led me to believe our environmental upbringing is big in our attractions.
Now, if someone is not attracted to another race because they are worried about how they would be perceived, how their friends would think or anything along those lines, that’s racist. Being into someone and rejecting them due solely to the inherent challenges of a mixed relationship is b*tch-made, period.
So while the girl’s response didn’t surprise me, it made me think of how many white girls I’ve tried to mack on throughout the years that felt exactly the same way. It also makes me wonder how many white women I was with that wouldn’t have gone for me if I weren’t high yellow…
ON TURNING 30 AND WAKING UP ALONE....
So in 12 days I’m turning 30-years-old, which means it’s all I’ve been thinking about lately, which means it’s all I might write about between now and the 18th.
As I count down the days to my born day, a lot of my friends are asking me what I am going to do, what I want to do, etc. My answer is the same one I give ever year, I really don’t know.
I think I mentioned this last year when I was turning 29, but being a summer baby and sharing birthdays with my sister who is three years younger but born on the 16th, I’ve always been reluctant to do a whole lot for my day. Also, it’s worth noting, since living in New York, celebrating my birthday has always been made easier by the fact that it usually falls on or around the same time as this big barbecue that’s held in Brooklyn every year, and most folk I want to see are usually there.
For right now, the only thing I do know I want is to wake up in my own apartment by myself on my 30th birthday.
To some, this might seem like an odd request. To others it may seem like a roundabout way of asking for two women to offer up their company around the stroke of midnight on July 18. That is not true (unless there are two girls who want to make a liar out of me).
But no, really, as I get older, the weeks and days leading up to my birthday always seem to get more and more introspective. I think. A lot. And so the solitude of waking up by myself on my birthday has become a weird sort of necessity to starting my day off right.
Throughout the majority of my 20s, I always had the pleasure of waking up to a girlfriend or a lady friend (we do know the difference, right?) on my birthday. It wasn’t until I was 28 that I experienced waking up alone that day, and I remember that year going to bed with a deep anxiety about the whole thing, as though it was some sort of poetic justice that being served onto me for all the wrongs I did.
Now as I turn 30, I kind of feel like waking up alone is what’s best for me on my birthday, even if I am dating someone at the time. The day before, the day after, I can celebrate with whoever is in my life however we would like to, but on that specific day, with the exception of the hours in between spent with people who are important, I want to wake up alone and I want to go to sleep alone.
Birthdays are intimate, man.
Turning a year older grows in significance for me every year, and these days I have become more mindful of sharing such significant moments. This was something I realized on a day that wasn’t my birthday.
I was asleep, alone in my bed. At the time I was single, but of course had a woman in my life who I cared about and I knew cared about me, but she wasn’t in bed with me. The reason, I can’t recall, but in retrospect, waking up alone was exactly what I needed.
The phone rang at an unusual time, something like 6:30 a.m. It was my brother, and it is amazing how in the two seconds it took me to answer the phone I already came to the conclusion the news wasn’t good.
“Brother,” he said.
“Yeah,” I said.
“He passed away.” The “He” my brother was referring to was our father.
“Okay,” I told him. “Give me an hour? I’ll be ready.”
We were going to D.C. immediately to meet our other brother and make the necessary arrangements. For about five minutes, I went into autopilot. I immediately got out of bed, called my mother to break the news to her, turned on my shower, and then, that is when it all hit me. The emotions of it all just poured out of me, and the only thing I was thankful for at that moment was my solitude, because this was a significant moment for me, not to be shared with anyone.
I know it seems odd and maybe even morbid to think that morning would be anything like waking up on my birthday. Turning a year older is good news, and certainly better news than receiving the news that a loved one has passed, but I bring up that memory to illustrate the importance of sometimes needing to be alone during life’s most significant moments.
The day I turn 30 is going to be huge for me, I know myself well enough to know that when I wake up, I will be the happiest man alive, but also in a level of thought so deep it’s going to make yoga masters look like they have ADD. It won’t last all day, probably just the duration of my workout, but I’m going to need that time to be alone because I’m turning 30 that day. Biggest moment of my life.
As I count down the days to my born day, a lot of my friends are asking me what I am going to do, what I want to do, etc. My answer is the same one I give ever year, I really don’t know.
I think I mentioned this last year when I was turning 29, but being a summer baby and sharing birthdays with my sister who is three years younger but born on the 16th, I’ve always been reluctant to do a whole lot for my day. Also, it’s worth noting, since living in New York, celebrating my birthday has always been made easier by the fact that it usually falls on or around the same time as this big barbecue that’s held in Brooklyn every year, and most folk I want to see are usually there.
For right now, the only thing I do know I want is to wake up in my own apartment by myself on my 30th birthday.
To some, this might seem like an odd request. To others it may seem like a roundabout way of asking for two women to offer up their company around the stroke of midnight on July 18. That is not true (unless there are two girls who want to make a liar out of me).
But no, really, as I get older, the weeks and days leading up to my birthday always seem to get more and more introspective. I think. A lot. And so the solitude of waking up by myself on my birthday has become a weird sort of necessity to starting my day off right.
Throughout the majority of my 20s, I always had the pleasure of waking up to a girlfriend or a lady friend (we do know the difference, right?) on my birthday. It wasn’t until I was 28 that I experienced waking up alone that day, and I remember that year going to bed with a deep anxiety about the whole thing, as though it was some sort of poetic justice that being served onto me for all the wrongs I did.
Now as I turn 30, I kind of feel like waking up alone is what’s best for me on my birthday, even if I am dating someone at the time. The day before, the day after, I can celebrate with whoever is in my life however we would like to, but on that specific day, with the exception of the hours in between spent with people who are important, I want to wake up alone and I want to go to sleep alone.
Birthdays are intimate, man.
Turning a year older grows in significance for me every year, and these days I have become more mindful of sharing such significant moments. This was something I realized on a day that wasn’t my birthday.
I was asleep, alone in my bed. At the time I was single, but of course had a woman in my life who I cared about and I knew cared about me, but she wasn’t in bed with me. The reason, I can’t recall, but in retrospect, waking up alone was exactly what I needed.
The phone rang at an unusual time, something like 6:30 a.m. It was my brother, and it is amazing how in the two seconds it took me to answer the phone I already came to the conclusion the news wasn’t good.
“Brother,” he said.
“Yeah,” I said.
“He passed away.” The “He” my brother was referring to was our father.
“Okay,” I told him. “Give me an hour? I’ll be ready.”
We were going to D.C. immediately to meet our other brother and make the necessary arrangements. For about five minutes, I went into autopilot. I immediately got out of bed, called my mother to break the news to her, turned on my shower, and then, that is when it all hit me. The emotions of it all just poured out of me, and the only thing I was thankful for at that moment was my solitude, because this was a significant moment for me, not to be shared with anyone.
I know it seems odd and maybe even morbid to think that morning would be anything like waking up on my birthday. Turning a year older is good news, and certainly better news than receiving the news that a loved one has passed, but I bring up that memory to illustrate the importance of sometimes needing to be alone during life’s most significant moments.
The day I turn 30 is going to be huge for me, I know myself well enough to know that when I wake up, I will be the happiest man alive, but also in a level of thought so deep it’s going to make yoga masters look like they have ADD. It won’t last all day, probably just the duration of my workout, but I’m going to need that time to be alone because I’m turning 30 that day. Biggest moment of my life.
July 12, 2011
QUOTE OF THE DAY...(DEEP)
Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.
KNOW YOUR VALUE AS A FRIEND....
Have you ever noticed that Rolls Royce and Bentley don't have commercials? REASON: They know the value of their product that brings customers to them. LESSON: When you know your value, you don't have to beg people to be your mate, to spend time with you or love you. Be confident in who GOD made you to be. Everyone can't afford the luxury of your friendship .
July 6, 2011
WORDS OF WISDOM....ON NOSINESS...
If you spend time worrying about other peoples because and forsake taking care of your own, find out where your disconnect is.
Never forsake your own well being, happiness or livelihood for the benefit of others.
Never forsake your own well being, happiness or livelihood for the benefit of others.
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