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October 27, 2011

For the S.No.B. (So Not Bougie) Files - No. Sir.

We've had a few posts now where people have shared some horrific tales of man fail. Not the least of which were the comments from yesterday's #WTHwasIthinkin post. In the spirit of reach one, teach one - let's talk about a few things that will quickly land a man squarely in the S.No.B. (So Not Bougie) files. (Don't worry fellas, we'll do a no ma'am episode as well)

1. Animal Print Drawers - DRED = Don't Rock 'Em, Dudes. Unless you all are playing some sort of jungle cocoa game where dude is Tarzan...never mind. Just don't do it.

2. Unsolicited Outbursts of Poetry and/or Rap - I don't know who decided it was hot in the dating streetz for a fella to get his Def Poetry Slam on at Red Lobster between the salad and dinner course but I must implore fellas to cease and desist. There's a place to spit rhymes and hot fire, 9 times of 10 the dinner table is not that place.

3. "You got this, right?" - Date finances should always (always) be discussed prior to the check arriving at the table. Assumptions that your date will "cover" you may lead to misunderstandings, mild violence and misdemeanors.

4. Suits in fruit colors - Apple, cranberry, lime, lemon, cantaloupe. Stop the madness. Not only is it S.No.B. it's S.No.Sexy to impersonate a Jolly Rancher. Unless you're dressing up as Steve Harvey for Halloween... don't do it.

5. Funk - I don't mean sweat from the gym. There's a grace period for that. I mean pungent funk emanating from your mouth, armpits, feet, wherever. That's unacceptable. As is indiscriminate cologne usage. Fellas, please ask your most trusted crew if you smell like deep fried musky plant extract before splashing at will.

I say these things with love, fellas.
BougieLand, care to add to the S.No.B. No Sir Files? Sharing is caring. The floor is yours.

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