Some people yearn to be married or love the commitment of a true relationship. They revel in having one person to share everything with, the responsibility of caring for another individual, and the inner joy of this “love” thing I hear about.
You also have a group that subscribes to the “player for life” mentality. Manogamy is a curse word to these people and offensive to the ears. They are having “fun” and looking for nothing more than good times and casual sex. The number of “conquests” is a bragging right, and they will quickly tell you about the one person who was good enough to actually get a repeat.
But what about the person in between these two. What about the SBM (or SBW) that doesn’t want the headache of a boyfriend or girlfriend, still wants someone to go out with and “sleep” with, and just has no desire of sleeping around like crazy (those AIDS commercials are scary). Well, the answer is … A Friend With Benefits.
This isn’t about the greatness of the FwB, this is to dispel some common misconceptions about this great “relationship derivative” created to fill a unique need in this new generation.
Friends With Benefits are not Cut (read: F*ck) Buddies!
Cut buddies are people used for sex. You sleep with them, they leave, thats it. You don’t care about their mom, you don’t care about how their day was, and you don’t care about anything expect “are you coming over and do you have a way to get home before the morning!”
The friend with benefits is a thing of beauty. They are a friend. Someone you care about, talk to, and possibly have a history with. You can depend on them if your in trouble and they can call on you. They probably have loaned you money or helped you out with some trouble you had. There is a good chance you can call them to get their opinion on something, or just to see how their day was. The one thing that separates this friend from that old college buddy is that she/he helps fulfill a need that both of you suffer from … good sex.
The key to the term is friend. With a cut buddy, they aren’t your friend. They server a purpose. Their like a car. You use it for a purpose. With a car, you might “love” it, and you take care of it, but you would trade it in if someone gave you enough money and you will get rid of it when it can’t provide any longer. This is the same as a cut buddy, not something to be loved or cared about, but something to maintain as long as it does the job.
A friend with benefits is like a dog. You honestly love your dog. Its not the same love as a child or significant other, but its love. If your dog is hurt, you take care of it, and try and make its recovery as painless as possible. Its not just a thing … you love it.
Friends With Benefits and Cut (read: f*ck) Buddies are not the same and not to be mixed up. Please … use these terms correctly … know what your getting into and what to expect. Don’t get caught looking stupid.
The perspective of a Bi-Sexual Black Man Based In Atlanta with International Exposure...Well Traveled and Well Read View My Likes, Dislikes, and Loves... You can Love It Or Hate It...
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