20 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE A HOOD NIGGA....

1. You’re wearing a Gucci belt with Burlington Coat Factory jeans 
2. You think chest tattoos on a woman are attractive 
3. You’ve been “getting your shit together” for 15 years 
4. Your girlfriend weighs more than you 
5. You think red suits are acceptable outside of the prom 
6. You thought getting your newborn daughter’s name tattooed on you was more urgent than getting her a crib 
7. Receiving cold fries from McDonald’s pisses you off more than any political issue ever could 
8. You haggle with $75 prostitutes 
9. The ice cream truck in your area sells knock-off handbags 
10. Only one of your friends knows how to work a computer 
11. The last time you woke up before noon was to buy some Jordans 
12. You barely even know how to operate a smartphone, yet think The Illuminati is trying to recruit you 
13. You’re scared to death of leaving a paper trail, yet have no reservations about riding in a lime green car with weed on you 14. Ass-clapping skills and a sneaker collection are qualities that you think make a woman wife material 
15. You brag about the type of weed you smoke, like it’s a resume bullet point 
16. You claim “Money Over Bitches,” yet you’re broke and have an STD 
17. “Next Tuesday” is a long term goal 
18. You bitch about having to pay $28 a month in child support 19. You’re 30 years old and your mother is perfectly fine with you staying with her, as long as you buy her a catfish dinner every Sunday 
20. A deceased relative left you $2,000 and now you’re arrogant