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The more than 11 FAQ about Black Greek Organizations (No holds barred) 1: What's the history behind the rivalry between the ladies of ...
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Is it the legs...the thighs...the skin color...the calve muscles??? This why I love African-American women!!! Bootilicous The TRUE definitio... -
The BET Network continues to diversify its programming with a new channel geared towards adults called Centric, which debuts this October. J...
March 14, 2011
YOU CAN TAKE THE CHICK OUT OF THE BRONX BUT YOU CANT TAKE THE BRONX OUT OF THE CHICK....
CERTIFIED 40 YR. CHICKEN HEAD....GOOD LOOKS DO NOT EQUAL COMMON SENSE....
WORDS OF WISDOM....
"Water seeks its own level. Or put more simply, a certain type of man will eventually settle with a similar type of woman."
March 13, 2011
NEW CHANGES MAY BE COMING TO ATM WITHDRAWAL MAX....
Guess who wants you to start using your credit cards more? Reports CNN:
JPMorgan Chase, one of the nation’s largest banks, is considering capping debit card transactions at either $50 or $100, according to a source with knowledge of the proposal. Why? Because of a tricky thing called interchange fees. Right now, every time you swipe your debit card, your bank charges the retailer an average fee of 44 cents, which it shares with its partners. Those little fees, however, add up to about $16 billion per year, according to 2009 data from the Federal Reserve.
If the changes go into effect customers are expected to withdraw more cash from ATM’s and use credit cards more often.
JPMorgan Chase, one of the nation’s largest banks, is considering capping debit card transactions at either $50 or $100, according to a source with knowledge of the proposal. Why? Because of a tricky thing called interchange fees. Right now, every time you swipe your debit card, your bank charges the retailer an average fee of 44 cents, which it shares with its partners. Those little fees, however, add up to about $16 billion per year, according to 2009 data from the Federal Reserve.
If the changes go into effect customers are expected to withdraw more cash from ATM’s and use credit cards more often.
March 11, 2011
OUR DAYS ARE NOW....
When I found out this morning about the earthquake in Japan, the tsunamis running through Hawaii and the ones headed towards the area where my family lives, of course I panicked. I called my mom at the ungodly hour of 4:00 a.m., ringing her phone until she woke up. Of course her being the woman she is, when she picked up the phone, she was worried about me.
Since that phone call a couple hours ago, everyone in my family seems to be just fine. My mother, my sister, my sister’s boyfriend, their children, my grandmother, step-dad, aunts, uncles, friends, everyone is okay. I heard from a dear friend of mine in Japan, she’s okay. Still waiting to hear from my people in Hawaii to get word on how they’re doing, though I have faith they too will be okay. For the most part, the people who I know in all these affected areas seem are safe.
So now, it’s time for me to pray for those I don’t know, for their safety and their peace, because when disasters like this happen around the world, it affects us all. Yet, I wonder why we worry so much about the way it affects us.
What I notice is how our society has gotten so selfish with our concern. We see things happen in other parts of the world and we internalize it to the point where we think the end of days for one person means we’re only one step closer to our own. Everyone is concerned with apocalyptic disaster. Everyone thinks about it in the back of their mind, and then when disasters like this happen, we start projecting those fears out loud, and it’s disheartening.
These days, we’re scared and it’s causing a great deal of distraction. We look at the earthquakes and Tsunamis and the end of other people’s days and use those events as indicators that our own days are numbered. And what’s crazy is, we don’t even apply some real logic or facts behind those thoughts. Instead, we just imagine the worst for ourselves when we see the worst that has happened to others. Our own fears are entrenched in some sort of selfishness.
What I try to do is not spend my time thinking about how events like these affect my own life. If I’m alive, then I’m good, and we should think of how that can be a benefit to others. Certainly I want to acknowledge the tragedies I see, but I don’t want to internalize them. I don’t want to think the end of someone’s life means I’m one day closer to the end of my own life. Not because it’s a scary thought, but because it’s a selfish one. Instead, I just want to pray for those who were affected, and keep them in my thoughts.
Far as I’m concerned, our days aren’t numbered, they are now, and instead of wondering when that will be no longer, let’s pray for those whose days are no more. For those of us who are alive, let’s be concerned but calm. We’re okay and alive, and with that we can do so much more than worry about when that will no longer be the case.
Since that phone call a couple hours ago, everyone in my family seems to be just fine. My mother, my sister, my sister’s boyfriend, their children, my grandmother, step-dad, aunts, uncles, friends, everyone is okay. I heard from a dear friend of mine in Japan, she’s okay. Still waiting to hear from my people in Hawaii to get word on how they’re doing, though I have faith they too will be okay. For the most part, the people who I know in all these affected areas seem are safe.
So now, it’s time for me to pray for those I don’t know, for their safety and their peace, because when disasters like this happen around the world, it affects us all. Yet, I wonder why we worry so much about the way it affects us.
What I notice is how our society has gotten so selfish with our concern. We see things happen in other parts of the world and we internalize it to the point where we think the end of days for one person means we’re only one step closer to our own. Everyone is concerned with apocalyptic disaster. Everyone thinks about it in the back of their mind, and then when disasters like this happen, we start projecting those fears out loud, and it’s disheartening.
These days, we’re scared and it’s causing a great deal of distraction. We look at the earthquakes and Tsunamis and the end of other people’s days and use those events as indicators that our own days are numbered. And what’s crazy is, we don’t even apply some real logic or facts behind those thoughts. Instead, we just imagine the worst for ourselves when we see the worst that has happened to others. Our own fears are entrenched in some sort of selfishness.
What I try to do is not spend my time thinking about how events like these affect my own life. If I’m alive, then I’m good, and we should think of how that can be a benefit to others. Certainly I want to acknowledge the tragedies I see, but I don’t want to internalize them. I don’t want to think the end of someone’s life means I’m one day closer to the end of my own life. Not because it’s a scary thought, but because it’s a selfish one. Instead, I just want to pray for those who were affected, and keep them in my thoughts.
Far as I’m concerned, our days aren’t numbered, they are now, and instead of wondering when that will be no longer, let’s pray for those whose days are no more. For those of us who are alive, let’s be concerned but calm. We’re okay and alive, and with that we can do so much more than worry about when that will no longer be the case.
March 9, 2011
ON GETTING OLDER....
If you are getting older and haven't learned how to let some petty, insignificant things go, you are missing the reason God is allowing you to get older.
Age and experience = maturity and wisdom NOT an older fool
Age and experience = maturity and wisdom NOT an older fool
March 8, 2011
DON'T YOU WANT TO BE DOWN??? THE BLISS CLUB....
We love hot parties. The Bliss Club is a sizzling private and exclusive social organization that produces theme and dance parties, special events and group trips exclusively for sexy bisexual women and select couples. The wild events are held the 3rd Saturday of every month in South Florida and the 4th Saturday of every month in Central Florida.
The catch: you have to be a beautiful bisexual woman or escorted by a beautiful bi woman to attend. We're hoping a hot bi woman out there will escort us to the party.
The catch: you have to be a beautiful bisexual woman or escorted by a beautiful bi woman to attend. We're hoping a hot bi woman out there will escort us to the party.
PAYING RESPECT.....VIDEO SOUL....
Video Soul was a 2-hour long American music video program that aired on BET from 1981 to 1996.
Video Soul premiered in June 1981 and was originally a half hour show. It was devoted to helping showcase new R&B/soul recording artists and performers. The show was created after MTV refused to play videos by most African American musicians, as MTV made the De Facto Colour policy effective. Both BET and Video Soul served as the place of refuge for new African American musical talent. The expanded 2-hour long Primetime version debuted on June 26, 1983 and aired from 9-11 p.m. Eastern time, Monday through Thursdays. A top 20 countdown aired Friday nights, 9-11 p.m. Eastern Time as well. Throughout the early-mid 1990s, until the show ended, it aired from 8-10 PM eastern time.
Virgil Hemphill was the original first host of the series, dubbing himself as the "Reverend Eldorado". After Hemphill left the series, Donnie Simpson became the show's most prominent veejay although he joined the show a few years after it premiered. Sherry Carter (who was also hosted BET's Video LP, a half-hour long video program) and Sheila Banks were the other hosts.
Throughout its run, it was responsible for surprise guests, bringing groups/bands back together, memorable interviews, etc. A number of up-and coming artists had their first interview on Video Soul.
Video Soul Top-20 aired on Fridays, it showcased the hottest top-20 videos of the week. It would also be known as The Coca-Cola Video Soul Top-20 Countdown, as Coca-Cola became a sponsor of the show.
Video Soul By Request was a two-hour long video block on Saturdays. This edition premiered in mid 1992. It showcased videos that were requested by viewers, who called a 1-900 number to request the video they wanted to hear. Throughout its run, Sherry Carter hosted unseen when she became a host for Video Soul in 1992.
Video Soul premiered in June 1981 and was originally a half hour show. It was devoted to helping showcase new R&B/soul recording artists and performers. The show was created after MTV refused to play videos by most African American musicians, as MTV made the De Facto Colour policy effective. Both BET and Video Soul served as the place of refuge for new African American musical talent. The expanded 2-hour long Primetime version debuted on June 26, 1983 and aired from 9-11 p.m. Eastern time, Monday through Thursdays. A top 20 countdown aired Friday nights, 9-11 p.m. Eastern Time as well. Throughout the early-mid 1990s, until the show ended, it aired from 8-10 PM eastern time.
Virgil Hemphill was the original first host of the series, dubbing himself as the "Reverend Eldorado". After Hemphill left the series, Donnie Simpson became the show's most prominent veejay although he joined the show a few years after it premiered. Sherry Carter (who was also hosted BET's Video LP, a half-hour long video program) and Sheila Banks were the other hosts.
Throughout its run, it was responsible for surprise guests, bringing groups/bands back together, memorable interviews, etc. A number of up-and coming artists had their first interview on Video Soul.
Video Soul Top-20 aired on Fridays, it showcased the hottest top-20 videos of the week. It would also be known as The Coca-Cola Video Soul Top-20 Countdown, as Coca-Cola became a sponsor of the show.
Video Soul By Request was a two-hour long video block on Saturdays. This edition premiered in mid 1992. It showcased videos that were requested by viewers, who called a 1-900 number to request the video they wanted to hear. Throughout its run, Sherry Carter hosted unseen when she became a host for Video Soul in 1992.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT...
Why would a woman SETTLE for a scrub or a man settle for a chick that isn't up to his standard?
Maybe that person isn't as great or have as high standards or have their shit as together as they think.....
Think about it
Maybe that person isn't as great or have as high standards or have their shit as together as they think.....
Think about it
March 7, 2011
ON HOLDING HANDS.....DEEPER THEN YOU THINK...
There is no public display of affection more intimate between two people than hand holding.
A woman and I can get caught having sex in a public place. We can make out on a street corner for all the world to see. We can hug so closely it looks like we’re dry-humping each others brains out. I can put my arm around her, grab her ass. She can lock her arm into mine, lick my neck. We can do anything we want to one another in front of people, or in places where people can see us, and none of it necessarily means we’re in a relationship. Sure it may be implied, but most of the acts I just mentioned prove my woman and I are nothing more than two lustful freaks who can’t find a room, or maybe don’t care to find one.
But holding hands? In public? That’s like Valentine’s Day — for couples only.
The truth is, holding hands is the ultimate semblance that two people are not only together, but happily so. Couples kiss mad, hug mad, have sex mad, but hold hands mad? Oh no, they don’t do that.
Holding hands is what we do with the person we like the most at the moment we’re happiest with them. To hold hands with my woman in private is to say, I’m here and I’m glad you’re here too. To hold her hand in public is to say to anyone who sees us, She’s with me, I’m with her, and yes, we’re getting along just fine.
I’ve believed this to be true since childhood.
When I was growing up, my Mom and Pop fought a lot with each other. In my house, screaming and yelling was the way we communicated and though there were a lot of good times, laughter always seemed to share a room with drama or tension. But when I think about those 11 years they were together, the times I look back and smile about the most were the times when the two of them were holding hands.
To this day, I remember all the drives in our family caravan; my sister and I in the back seat, Mom riding shotgun, and Pop handling the wheel. Everyone’s eyes on the road in front of us. And maybe it happened as we were all talking and laughing, mostly it happened when a song came on the radio or the car was quiet, but whenever it happened, it went a little something like this:
Mom, or Pop, in their respective seats, eyes straight ahead, not looking at one another. Mom, or Pop’s, forearm planted on their arm rest for support. Mom, or Pop’s, palm opens in the small space between the van’s two front seats. And then, Mom, or Pop, does the same thing with their forearm and places their hand into the other.
I’m here and I’m glad you’re here too.
Sometimes they would do this in public.
She’s with me, I’m with her, and yes, we’re getting along just fine.
A woman and I can get caught having sex in a public place. We can make out on a street corner for all the world to see. We can hug so closely it looks like we’re dry-humping each others brains out. I can put my arm around her, grab her ass. She can lock her arm into mine, lick my neck. We can do anything we want to one another in front of people, or in places where people can see us, and none of it necessarily means we’re in a relationship. Sure it may be implied, but most of the acts I just mentioned prove my woman and I are nothing more than two lustful freaks who can’t find a room, or maybe don’t care to find one.
But holding hands? In public? That’s like Valentine’s Day — for couples only.
The truth is, holding hands is the ultimate semblance that two people are not only together, but happily so. Couples kiss mad, hug mad, have sex mad, but hold hands mad? Oh no, they don’t do that.
Holding hands is what we do with the person we like the most at the moment we’re happiest with them. To hold hands with my woman in private is to say, I’m here and I’m glad you’re here too. To hold her hand in public is to say to anyone who sees us, She’s with me, I’m with her, and yes, we’re getting along just fine.
I’ve believed this to be true since childhood.
When I was growing up, my Mom and Pop fought a lot with each other. In my house, screaming and yelling was the way we communicated and though there were a lot of good times, laughter always seemed to share a room with drama or tension. But when I think about those 11 years they were together, the times I look back and smile about the most were the times when the two of them were holding hands.
To this day, I remember all the drives in our family caravan; my sister and I in the back seat, Mom riding shotgun, and Pop handling the wheel. Everyone’s eyes on the road in front of us. And maybe it happened as we were all talking and laughing, mostly it happened when a song came on the radio or the car was quiet, but whenever it happened, it went a little something like this:
Mom, or Pop, in their respective seats, eyes straight ahead, not looking at one another. Mom, or Pop’s, forearm planted on their arm rest for support. Mom, or Pop’s, palm opens in the small space between the van’s two front seats. And then, Mom, or Pop, does the same thing with their forearm and places their hand into the other.
I’m here and I’m glad you’re here too.
Sometimes they would do this in public.
She’s with me, I’m with her, and yes, we’re getting along just fine.
March 4, 2011
THE BODYGUARD BEING REMADE IN 2011.....THOUGHTS?
Lawrence Kasdan wrote the film in the 1970's, originally as a vehicle for Steve McQueen and Diana Ross.
Rachel Marron (Whitney Houston) is an Oscar-nominated music superstar who is being stalked and sent death threats. Frank Farmer (Kevin Costner), a former Secret Service agent during Ronald Reagan's presidency-turned professional bodyguard, is hired to protect her.
The film follows Rachel's life through her career and family. Performances include her singing hits such as "I Will Always Love You" and "I Have Nothing". Frank successfully protects her from danger and as a result of his protection, Rachel falls in love with Frank. He initially tries to keep the relationship professional, but the two sleep together. However, recognizing that their relationship may compromise his protection of her, Frank breaks off their affair. Rachel must put her trust in Frank ahead of her own desire for success. In the end, Frank's duty is fulfilled, having successfully protected Rachel, and they part with a kiss. Frank then moves on to his next assignment, guarding the Reverend Philip Hardy with the First Presbyterian Church of Iowa Rapids.
In 2011 Warner Bros announced a remake that will update the story to reflect the world of the Internet; in which sites such as Twitter, Google Maps and countless other sites makes access to celebrities easier than ever. The remake will be penned by Jeremiah Friedman and Nick Palmer, with singer, Rihanna, being tipped to play the role of Rachel Marron, though this is yet to be confirmed.
Original Soundtrack Album became the best-selling soundtrack of all time. It has been certified diamond in the US (sales of at least ten million) with shipments of over 17 million copies. Worldwide, the sales are at a staggering 42 million copies. In addition, Houston's "I Will Always Love You" sold 12 million units worldwide.
Rachel Marron (Whitney Houston) is an Oscar-nominated music superstar who is being stalked and sent death threats. Frank Farmer (Kevin Costner), a former Secret Service agent during Ronald Reagan's presidency-turned professional bodyguard, is hired to protect her.
The film follows Rachel's life through her career and family. Performances include her singing hits such as "I Will Always Love You" and "I Have Nothing". Frank successfully protects her from danger and as a result of his protection, Rachel falls in love with Frank. He initially tries to keep the relationship professional, but the two sleep together. However, recognizing that their relationship may compromise his protection of her, Frank breaks off their affair. Rachel must put her trust in Frank ahead of her own desire for success. In the end, Frank's duty is fulfilled, having successfully protected Rachel, and they part with a kiss. Frank then moves on to his next assignment, guarding the Reverend Philip Hardy with the First Presbyterian Church of Iowa Rapids.
In 2011 Warner Bros announced a remake that will update the story to reflect the world of the Internet; in which sites such as Twitter, Google Maps and countless other sites makes access to celebrities easier than ever. The remake will be penned by Jeremiah Friedman and Nick Palmer, with singer, Rihanna, being tipped to play the role of Rachel Marron, though this is yet to be confirmed.
Original Soundtrack Album became the best-selling soundtrack of all time. It has been certified diamond in the US (sales of at least ten million) with shipments of over 17 million copies. Worldwide, the sales are at a staggering 42 million copies. In addition, Houston's "I Will Always Love You" sold 12 million units worldwide.
March 3, 2011
March 2, 2011
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT...HARD....
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
But chains and whips excite me
GET INTO THE WORDS....
She said she wants a man
To always understand
But that's alright for her
Still it ain't enough for me
And she said she wants a guy
To keep her satisfied
But that's alright for her
But it ain't enough for me
Still, I don't care
If he's young or old
(Just make him beautiful)
I just want someone
I can hold on to
I want muscles
All, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
I want muscles
All, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
They say they have to see
His real personality
But that's alright for them
Still it ain't enough for me
I need what the eyes can see, ah
(His anatomy)
If that's alright for them
Still it ain't enough for me
I don't care if he's young or old
(Just make him beautiful)
I just want some strong man
To hold on to
I want muscles
All, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
I want muscles
Whooooa-ho-ho, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
Muscle man, I want to love you
In the sun, or on your body
Come with me, high in the cascades
Let this be, we've got this thing made
Lost at sea, hide the desert
Stay with me, you won't regret it
Take this love, so deep to swim in
Come to me, and let the love in
She said she wants a man
To always understand
But that's alright for her
Still it ain't enough for me
I don't care if he's young or old
(Just make him beautiful)
I just want someone I can hold on to
I want muscles
All, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
I want muscles
Whoooa-ho-ho, all over his body
All over his
(I want) muscles
All, all, all over his body
(I want) muscles
I want all I can get
All over him, all over him
All over him
(I want) muscles, muscles, muscles...
To always understand
But that's alright for her
Still it ain't enough for me
And she said she wants a guy
To keep her satisfied
But that's alright for her
But it ain't enough for me
Still, I don't care
If he's young or old
(Just make him beautiful)
I just want someone
I can hold on to
I want muscles
All, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
I want muscles
All, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
They say they have to see
His real personality
But that's alright for them
Still it ain't enough for me
I need what the eyes can see, ah
(His anatomy)
If that's alright for them
Still it ain't enough for me
I don't care if he's young or old
(Just make him beautiful)
I just want some strong man
To hold on to
I want muscles
All, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
I want muscles
Whooooa-ho-ho, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
Muscle man, I want to love you
In the sun, or on your body
Come with me, high in the cascades
Let this be, we've got this thing made
Lost at sea, hide the desert
Stay with me, you won't regret it
Take this love, so deep to swim in
Come to me, and let the love in
She said she wants a man
To always understand
But that's alright for her
Still it ain't enough for me
I don't care if he's young or old
(Just make him beautiful)
I just want someone I can hold on to
I want muscles
All, all over his body
(Make him strong enough)
(From his head down to his toes)
I want muscles
Whoooa-ho-ho, all over his body
All over his
(I want) muscles
All, all, all over his body
(I want) muscles
I want all I can get
All over him, all over him
All over him
(I want) muscles, muscles, muscles...
March 1, 2011
February 28, 2011
WORDS OF WISDOM....
"to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be ... nothing."
-Elbert Green Hubbard
-Elbert Green Hubbard
OPEN RELATIONSHIPS...THE WAY TO GO??
We live in a society where greater than 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, and a great proportion of those are due to cheating. A recent report published in the Journal of Sex Research, claimed almost a third of partners who said they were monogamous had in fact slept with someone outside of the relationship. And some behavioral scientists claim that monogamy is indeed unnatural. Some would argue that it appears monogamy isn’t working for people. And if it truly isn’t, many debate whether open relationships are the way to go.
An open relationship is one in which a couple agree to be together, but also agree to have romantic or sexual relationships with additional people. There are no set rules when it comes to open relationships. It’s basically up to the couple to determine the boundaries of acceptable behavior.
Many have opposed the idea of open relationships, and condemned people that practice them, claiming that the lifestyle is simply for the “selfish” and “immature.” And many people in open relationships assert that they have a better grasp on love and reality, unlike their monogamous counterparts that secretly cheat, deceive, and pretend to be monogamous. For an unmarried individual like myself, I wonder if those really are the only two choices: 1. Be in a monogamous relationship where someone secretly strays from time to time or 2. Be in an open relationship.
The topic of open relationships is definitely a hot button issue for people- especially those that have been cheated on. And while monogamous relationships aren’t convention, there are many couples that have had successful open relationships. For example, iconic couple Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis admitted to having an open marriage. And when asked to explain their rationale for that type of relationship, the late Ossie replied: “It occurred to us, from observation and reasoning, that extramarital sex was not what really destroyed marriages, but rather the lies and deception that invariably accompanied it — that was the culprit. So we decided to give ourselves permission to sleep with other partners if we wished — as long as what we did was honest as well as private, and that neither of us exposed the family to scandal or disease.”
But it didn’t just end there. Interestingly enough, Ossie also went on to say this: “Looking back, I’d say no matter what did or did not happen, we freed each other. And in doing that, we also freed ourselves…Sex is fine, but love is better. That’s the most important part of being free. In light of what we learned, is extramarital sex something we recommend as a regular part of marriage? Not now…not anymore. Not since AIDS has entered the equation, and genital herpes, syphilis, and other diseases.”
It sounds like a lot of us could learn from Ossie and Ruby. And after reading what they had to say about love and marriage, I’ll say this: If I ever get married, my goal is to have the type of relationship that Ruby and Ossie shared- an honest, happy, and healthy one. I’m a romantic, but I’m also a realist. I don’t believe that people who expect monogamy are unrealistic; and I don’t believe that people who desire multiple lovers are selfish. No matter the type of relationship that you choose, whether your relationship is successful all boils down to how honest you choose to be with yourself and your partner. There are pros and cons to both types of relationships, monogamous or open.
Can open relationships work? Yes. Is monogamy too much to ask? No. I have my own opinions about relationships- some of them conventional, others not so conventional. And for those that simply argue that open relationships are better because monogamy doesn’t come naturally, I will say this: Even if monogamy doesn’t come naturally to our species, this doesn’t mean that honesty doesn’t as well. Monogamy may not be a choice- but honesty is. And regardless of what type of relationship you ultimately choose, each will take a foundation of mutual respect and open communication. If you don’t have that, any relationship will fail.
What are your thoughts on open relationships? Why do you think people cheat instead of being honest with their partner?
http://madamenoire.com/44060/open-relationships-is-it-the-way-to-go/
An open relationship is one in which a couple agree to be together, but also agree to have romantic or sexual relationships with additional people. There are no set rules when it comes to open relationships. It’s basically up to the couple to determine the boundaries of acceptable behavior.
Many have opposed the idea of open relationships, and condemned people that practice them, claiming that the lifestyle is simply for the “selfish” and “immature.” And many people in open relationships assert that they have a better grasp on love and reality, unlike their monogamous counterparts that secretly cheat, deceive, and pretend to be monogamous. For an unmarried individual like myself, I wonder if those really are the only two choices: 1. Be in a monogamous relationship where someone secretly strays from time to time or 2. Be in an open relationship.
The topic of open relationships is definitely a hot button issue for people- especially those that have been cheated on. And while monogamous relationships aren’t convention, there are many couples that have had successful open relationships. For example, iconic couple Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis admitted to having an open marriage. And when asked to explain their rationale for that type of relationship, the late Ossie replied: “It occurred to us, from observation and reasoning, that extramarital sex was not what really destroyed marriages, but rather the lies and deception that invariably accompanied it — that was the culprit. So we decided to give ourselves permission to sleep with other partners if we wished — as long as what we did was honest as well as private, and that neither of us exposed the family to scandal or disease.”
But it didn’t just end there. Interestingly enough, Ossie also went on to say this: “Looking back, I’d say no matter what did or did not happen, we freed each other. And in doing that, we also freed ourselves…Sex is fine, but love is better. That’s the most important part of being free. In light of what we learned, is extramarital sex something we recommend as a regular part of marriage? Not now…not anymore. Not since AIDS has entered the equation, and genital herpes, syphilis, and other diseases.”
It sounds like a lot of us could learn from Ossie and Ruby. And after reading what they had to say about love and marriage, I’ll say this: If I ever get married, my goal is to have the type of relationship that Ruby and Ossie shared- an honest, happy, and healthy one. I’m a romantic, but I’m also a realist. I don’t believe that people who expect monogamy are unrealistic; and I don’t believe that people who desire multiple lovers are selfish. No matter the type of relationship that you choose, whether your relationship is successful all boils down to how honest you choose to be with yourself and your partner. There are pros and cons to both types of relationships, monogamous or open.
Can open relationships work? Yes. Is monogamy too much to ask? No. I have my own opinions about relationships- some of them conventional, others not so conventional. And for those that simply argue that open relationships are better because monogamy doesn’t come naturally, I will say this: Even if monogamy doesn’t come naturally to our species, this doesn’t mean that honesty doesn’t as well. Monogamy may not be a choice- but honesty is. And regardless of what type of relationship you ultimately choose, each will take a foundation of mutual respect and open communication. If you don’t have that, any relationship will fail.
What are your thoughts on open relationships? Why do you think people cheat instead of being honest with their partner?
http://madamenoire.com/44060/open-relationships-is-it-the-way-to-go/
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