Original Post found at Warm & Tasty Blog
So you have your shit together, you have your own home, own car, self confidence and swagger yet you still come home alone every time. You have to break out the bottle of lotion because no one is there to please you sexually because your status on Facebook says "Single"?
You see that person walking with their boyfriend down the street and wonder "how did they get a man and I don't have one? I'm way cuter than he is!" There are often mistakes that we singles make that we do not notice that we do on a regular basis.
Here are some reasons as to why you may still be single and if they apply to you, you may need to re-evaluate.
You Value Your Being Independent Over Being Tied Down [raising my hand on this one]
When you were younger, being single and independent was perfect for you because you could do anything you wanted without having to worry about what others had to think or say about you.
But as much as it hurts me to say-being in a relationship involves plenty of commitment, sacrifice and compromise. Being independent means you have grown accustom to the habit of doing things on your own terms but sometimes things have to change.
Your daily routines are not something you have to abide by 100%. We sometimes have to be a bit more lenient to allow others in. You can invite that special someone into your life and still have your freedom.
You're Always Too Busy
Your job is your first love. You thought you could find a man after rising to the top of the ladder, but realize there is no end to it. You feel like you will forever climb that corporate ladder.
Spending most of your time focusing on getting ahead, you have realized you have lost your social life completely and forgot how to put your best foot forward when you are looking for the right man.
You Have Not Maintained Your Appearance On A Regular
Look at yourself!!! What have you become!? Where did those extra 10 pounds come from!? Your hair is a mess!! Appearance isn't everything but it is when it comes to first impression. If you aren't keeping it cute with yourself...Others will pick up on it and wonder "Does he look like that everyday!? DAMN"
You never know who you are going to run into so you should look your best everyday. Or if not your best....pretty damn close to it.
You Don't Try Hard Enough To Make Things Work
Anal ain't free and neither are the good things in life. If you are just waiting for the right person to come around while you sit on your ass eating Sarah Lee Cheesecake Bites lol your chances of him falling into your arms are slim to none. The more you put your face out there, the more visible you are the higher the chances of getting a man.
When you put in the time and effort to expand your social life, you’ll find yourself making more friends, and potential dates will come naturally along the way.
You Are Too Afraid To Put Yourself Out There And Meet Other People
The idea of opening up yourself to others and letting people into your life is scary thing for you? Well say hello to a life of solitude. Fears we have like failure, rejection commitment, trust issues; lead to one feeling self-conscious and having a lack the confidence to approach people. Taking the initiative and making conversation is the first step into breaking that cycle.
You Have High Standards That Are Impossible To Meet
I tell a friend everyday "Boy you better lower them standards!" of course its usually about sex but it makes sense when it comes to all aspects of social life. Come on having that checklist of 6ft, dark, masculine, extremely muscular, no kids, lives within 5 minute radius chances are you are ruling out a lot of good men who do not meet any of your standards.
Not everyone is perfect so expand those options. But do not lower them to the point where you are welcoming absolutely everyone in the neighborhood.
Past Relationships Leave You Alienated [raising my hand on this one]
We have all had failed relationships and break ups that leave us crushed and angry singing Kelis' "Caught Out There" or any song by Keyshia Cole. You cannot let your past experiences shut you down from new things that others will bring to the table.
So take a little break in between relationships; which means NO REBOUND RELATIONSHIPS. Now that you have healed you can leave all your excess baggage at the door and be open to a new person
You Treasure Your Possessions More Than Anything Else
We all have material things that we love and can bring us pleasure for the moment. But those material things won't hold you at night unless its a Snuggie! We all need that human companionship from time to time.
You should put these items to the side for you to be able to find love...to be loved....to love.
The perspective of a Bi-Sexual Black Man Based In Atlanta with International Exposure...Well Traveled and Well Read View My Likes, Dislikes, and Loves... You can Love It Or Hate It...
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1 comment:
nice analysis
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