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April 29, 2013
WHAT HE SAID....FIRST OPENLY GAY NBA PLAYER JASON COLLINS....
"When I was younger I dated women. I even got engaged. I thought I had to live a certain way. I thought I needed to marry a woman and raise kids with her. I kept telling myself the sky was red, but I always knew it was blue."
THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE ONLY HAVE 6 PEOPLE IN THEIR INNER CIRCLES.....
How many "best friends" do you have? Social scientists say most people count just four friends with whom they can discuss very important matters, but the maximum possible number of such friends is around six.
With rare exceptions, it's just not practical for anyone to maintain close, truly meaningful relationships with more than six people.
Super-successful people know this better than anyone. In the survey research I did for my book Business Brilliant, I found that the wealthier you are, the fewer "best business friends" you have.
Specifically, when asked to count how many people they closely network with in order to source new business, the average number was 4.8 for millionaires who have a net worth over $30 million and 5.7 for millionaires who have a net worth below $10 million. Ordinary middle-class people? They reported an average of nine close contacts. That's right. The people at the lowest level of financial success counted the highest number of close networking contacts. The reason is very simple. If you count nine people as very close, the odds are you're not really close to them at all, which means they won't be inclined to offer their close network connections with you.
If, on the other hand, you are very close to six highly-connected people, as most super-successful people are, those six people will make their networks available to you, giving you potential access to 36 more people, as well as access to their networks, by which time your effective network numbers in the hundreds. Size Is Only One Part of a Strong Network Researchers who study networking, however, say that network size isn't the most important thing. Network structure makes an even bigger difference, and the strongest networks are structured strategically with a small core that branches out to encompass lots of people who, most importantly, don't know each other.
Build a network like that, and you put yourself in the center as a connector who can make introductions, summon resources, and create valuable interactions in ways no one else can. Being the linchpin, the go-between, is what entrepreneurship is all about. Entre, after all, is the French word for "between."
So while there's nothing wrong with counting 500 or 5,000 people in your online networks, the more important thing to do is to follow the example of the super-wealthy and design your core network to be tight, strong, and, above all, made up of just a few select people who will need you in order to reach each other.
Here's how to do it:
1. Write down a list of a dozen key people. These are the people you would go to tomorrow for help in finding new work of the kind that you do best. Last week I wrote about how luck always favors people with focus and purpose. That's especially true with networking. You first need to identify your ideal work situation or type of business deal. Only then are you ready to take stock of whom you'll need to help find it.
2. Rank the top six people who are best positioned to help you. Let's say you lead a cake-baking business. As a baker, you might rely on business referrals from a dozen or more caterers, wedding planners, and party planners. From this list, sort out those people who are strongest and most likely to send high-value work your way. Then, after ranking the top six, figure out if any of them know each other. Maybe your top six includes a caterer and a party planner who often work closely together. If that's the case, drop the one with the least clout and pick a replacement from your original list of 12.
3. Label six file folders from one to six. You've now identified the six people on whom your livelihood and dreams depend, at least for the near future. What do you think you'll need to know about such important people? Collect all the information you can in each of your six ranked folders. (These can be electronic folders, physical folders, or both.) Fill each folder with items from company websites, corporate board memberships, charity involvements. Don't forget the names of spouses and children. These are your six best business friends, after all.
4. Make a seventh folder. This folder serves as your "bench" folder, where you can toss information about all the peripheral players in your network, the ones you might need to call on when the value of one of your regulars falters. Networks are always in flux. People come and go, your priorities might change. Having six people in your core and another dozen or so on your bench maintains a healthy balance between focus and flexibility.
5. Make network maintenance a regular Monday morning event. Most super-successful people consider their networks one of their most precious assets. Treat your network accordingly. Manage it as you would any asset portfolio. You want to be on the lookout for new promising network members and consider dialing back contact with connections who are no long aligned with your goals. The other key thing to remember about this science is that social networks tend to grow in the direction of whatever you feed them. If you fill your network with college buddies, you'll get lots of invitations to events that might have interested you back when you were in school. But if you manage your portfolio of contacts wisely, and feed it with people who are important to your work and command greater resources than you have access to, you'll be growing in a direction that positions you for sustained future success.
Read more: http://www.inc.com/lewis-schiff/networking-people-who-determine-your-future.html#ixzz2RrnE4szX
Super-successful people know this better than anyone. In the survey research I did for my book Business Brilliant, I found that the wealthier you are, the fewer "best business friends" you have.
Specifically, when asked to count how many people they closely network with in order to source new business, the average number was 4.8 for millionaires who have a net worth over $30 million and 5.7 for millionaires who have a net worth below $10 million. Ordinary middle-class people? They reported an average of nine close contacts. That's right. The people at the lowest level of financial success counted the highest number of close networking contacts. The reason is very simple. If you count nine people as very close, the odds are you're not really close to them at all, which means they won't be inclined to offer their close network connections with you.
If, on the other hand, you are very close to six highly-connected people, as most super-successful people are, those six people will make their networks available to you, giving you potential access to 36 more people, as well as access to their networks, by which time your effective network numbers in the hundreds. Size Is Only One Part of a Strong Network Researchers who study networking, however, say that network size isn't the most important thing. Network structure makes an even bigger difference, and the strongest networks are structured strategically with a small core that branches out to encompass lots of people who, most importantly, don't know each other.
Build a network like that, and you put yourself in the center as a connector who can make introductions, summon resources, and create valuable interactions in ways no one else can. Being the linchpin, the go-between, is what entrepreneurship is all about. Entre, after all, is the French word for "between."
So while there's nothing wrong with counting 500 or 5,000 people in your online networks, the more important thing to do is to follow the example of the super-wealthy and design your core network to be tight, strong, and, above all, made up of just a few select people who will need you in order to reach each other.
Here's how to do it:
1. Write down a list of a dozen key people. These are the people you would go to tomorrow for help in finding new work of the kind that you do best. Last week I wrote about how luck always favors people with focus and purpose. That's especially true with networking. You first need to identify your ideal work situation or type of business deal. Only then are you ready to take stock of whom you'll need to help find it.
2. Rank the top six people who are best positioned to help you. Let's say you lead a cake-baking business. As a baker, you might rely on business referrals from a dozen or more caterers, wedding planners, and party planners. From this list, sort out those people who are strongest and most likely to send high-value work your way. Then, after ranking the top six, figure out if any of them know each other. Maybe your top six includes a caterer and a party planner who often work closely together. If that's the case, drop the one with the least clout and pick a replacement from your original list of 12.
3. Label six file folders from one to six. You've now identified the six people on whom your livelihood and dreams depend, at least for the near future. What do you think you'll need to know about such important people? Collect all the information you can in each of your six ranked folders. (These can be electronic folders, physical folders, or both.) Fill each folder with items from company websites, corporate board memberships, charity involvements. Don't forget the names of spouses and children. These are your six best business friends, after all.
4. Make a seventh folder. This folder serves as your "bench" folder, where you can toss information about all the peripheral players in your network, the ones you might need to call on when the value of one of your regulars falters. Networks are always in flux. People come and go, your priorities might change. Having six people in your core and another dozen or so on your bench maintains a healthy balance between focus and flexibility.
5. Make network maintenance a regular Monday morning event. Most super-successful people consider their networks one of their most precious assets. Treat your network accordingly. Manage it as you would any asset portfolio. You want to be on the lookout for new promising network members and consider dialing back contact with connections who are no long aligned with your goals. The other key thing to remember about this science is that social networks tend to grow in the direction of whatever you feed them. If you fill your network with college buddies, you'll get lots of invitations to events that might have interested you back when you were in school. But if you manage your portfolio of contacts wisely, and feed it with people who are important to your work and command greater resources than you have access to, you'll be growing in a direction that positions you for sustained future success.
Read more: http://www.inc.com/lewis-schiff/networking-people-who-determine-your-future.html#ixzz2RrnE4szX
April 26, 2013
April 25, 2013
ONE OF THOSE LIFE LESSONS YOU HAVE TO LEARN...
Being taught the difference between loneliness and being alone.
April 24, 2013
April 23, 2013
April 18, 2013
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April 17, 2013
POOR KERRY....WHY ATHLETES SHOULDN'T MESS WITH FEM QUEENS.....ESPECIALLY DUDES WHO GO BY "HOLLYWOOD"
http://bossip.com/760006/bossip-exclusive-nfl-star-kerry-rhodes-gay-lover-exposes-secret-relationship-we-had-the-best-sex-and-life-photosvideo/
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ART OF DATING?
I guess it would be extremely appropriate for me to define dating before I continue. In my opinion, dating is how you get to know someone with whom you may be interested in pursuing a relationship. Dating used to be the initial phase and was followed by exclusivity (becoming monogamous). Then “talking” replaced “dating” and dating became exclusive.
Enough of the history lesson! Nowadays, there is not much dating going on. People are going from hello to hookup! Now, I may be old fashioned, but I when I was dating, I wanted to know enough about a girl to make sure she had been a girl her whole life. I mean, at least tell me your last name. Show me some baby pictures or something! Dating was an art form. In most cases, a man had to formulate his “rap” to approach a woman who probably already knew whether she was impressed with him or not. Regardless of how she felt, he was allowed to pursue and validate the things he said as truth. This gave a woman the chance to prove the man to be Prince Charming or just another tired dude.
Ladies, there is nothing wrong with dating more than one man at a time. I don’t understand why ladies think there is something wrong with that. Now clearly, I’m not saying you have to sleep with all of them. That is not a good idea Dating is a lost art. Dating should be fun and it shouldn’t be a hassle. The best way to get to know a person is to date.
Let me caution you as Brian has: Sex changes every relationship. So before you complicate a relationship slow down and get to know the person first. There is no reason to make life harder.
In some ways, society has placed this pressure on women that they must be married by 25 or 30. Many marriages have ended because they did not take the time to get to know the person they were marrying. The divorce rate is high enough, let’s not add to it. Let’s take the time to get to know someone. Who knows? It might be fun!
By Wise Diva, and guest bloggers for Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
Enough of the history lesson! Nowadays, there is not much dating going on. People are going from hello to hookup! Now, I may be old fashioned, but I when I was dating, I wanted to know enough about a girl to make sure she had been a girl her whole life. I mean, at least tell me your last name. Show me some baby pictures or something! Dating was an art form. In most cases, a man had to formulate his “rap” to approach a woman who probably already knew whether she was impressed with him or not. Regardless of how she felt, he was allowed to pursue and validate the things he said as truth. This gave a woman the chance to prove the man to be Prince Charming or just another tired dude.
Ladies, there is nothing wrong with dating more than one man at a time. I don’t understand why ladies think there is something wrong with that. Now clearly, I’m not saying you have to sleep with all of them. That is not a good idea Dating is a lost art. Dating should be fun and it shouldn’t be a hassle. The best way to get to know a person is to date.
Let me caution you as Brian has: Sex changes every relationship. So before you complicate a relationship slow down and get to know the person first. There is no reason to make life harder.
In some ways, society has placed this pressure on women that they must be married by 25 or 30. Many marriages have ended because they did not take the time to get to know the person they were marrying. The divorce rate is high enough, let’s not add to it. Let’s take the time to get to know someone. Who knows? It might be fun!
By Wise Diva, and guest bloggers for Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
YOUR WILL TO OTHERS....
Give more than expected; love more than seems wise; serve more than appears necessary; and help more than asked.
April 16, 2013
April 14, 2013
April 11, 2013
April 8, 2013
AN OPEN LETTER TO TYLER PERRY....ERNEST OWENS....
Dear Tyler Perry,
It has been 13 films and eight years of perpetual stereotype. Through the years, I have found myself supporting your movies because you are one of the few consistent black filmmakers in Hollywood. Your films have grossed over $500 million in the box office worldwide and continue to launch television spin-offs and other media based endeavors. Even though Spike Lee, an even better director in my opinion, has critiqued you with good reason, I still had faith that you were adjusting to the business and would progress in your talent.
As I continue to view your work however, I have noticed that you have gotten better actors filling crappier roles for even more godforsaken screenplays. The movies continue to go below the belt and your attention to detail is becoming more minimal. Even your dramatic scenes that are meant to provoke us are being dismissed as farce. What is even more alarming is that as I used to watch your movies as a child and as I am now paying to see them as an adult, the life I strive to live continues to be mocked as a reality doomed for evil and self-destruction. So given your own rags to riches tale of faith and prosperity Mr. Perry, why must you continue to objectify and vilify blacks that strive for success in your films?
In your recent disappointment in cinema, Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor, your leading actress (played by Jurnee Smollett-Bell) get infected with HIV and loses her marriage based on her ambition to overall pursue a better career as a marriage counselor. Given that she is unhappy in her current marriage with an aloof, underachieving husband (that rather her cook dinner every day for him and go to church more to become "a better wife") Smollett-Bell's character is less understood given that she instead pursues a man that matches more of her professional, sexual and intellectual desires. If anything, the unfortunate moral of the story is: the more you aim high, the less happy you are.
Such a pathetic motif continued in your other movies, where in Madea's Family Reunion, successful black actors such as Blair Underwood is a controlling and abusive black attorney who loses his fiancée. Gabrielle Union in Daddy's Little Girls is a snobby uptight Ivy League alum turned attorney who "humbles" herself for a mechanic with previous children. Sanaa Lathan in The Family That Preys plays an educated accountant that is a doomed cheater that is scarred by a white man. Robbie Jones in Temptation is a successful black social media tycoon with HIV that is a womanizer who cheats, beats, stalks, controls and infects the many women around him. And the list goes on...
As for the many falsehoods and fallacies that play out in your movies, the biggest stereotype might just be that with black success come negative atrocities. If it means anything, your films continue to place blacks who aspire to do more be hesitant to achieve such for preconceived consequences will follow.
And what is even worse, is that your films create such a very unrealistic outlook. How many men such as Edris Elba in Daddy's Little Girls who plays a strong hardworking mechanic that takes care of his three daughters are really out there? For most of your films, the women who have fallen from their success in life have two options: either live a more humble life with an underachieving mate or live a lonely one scarred with either disease or unhappiness. In The Family That Preys, Sanaa Lathan was left with nothing while her husband eventually has his own business right after her. In Diary of A Mad Black Woman, Kimberly Elise decides to leave her attorney husband (who was also is, guess it: abusive and controlling) for a nice urban factory worker in her small town.
What disappoints me the most about your films Mr. Perry is that they do not positively reflect the various audiences of blacks that you have aspired to attract. You know, the ones that actually buy the movie tickets to support you. As a man who grew up in an urban environment that is now attending college at a fine Ivy League institution (University of Pennsylvania), I would like to let you know that I am not aspiring to become the controlling, manipulative and reckless psychopath that you continue to depict such men of color in your films. And the hardworking black women who have earned their degrees that stand beside me in these schools do not have to go so far down to their small towns to find a good man... they are also right here as well. And furthermore, as you find solace in trying to unrealistically characterize the street behavior of such men in your movies, you are doing all of us a disservice.
Why does this all matter? Because for all my life, I have yet to really see consistent movies with educated black couples in a real relationship. I know they exist because I see them in my own families and those of my friends. I am aware of broken homes as well, but that is not the entire narrative. As we see more intelligent women become, for better or worse, Olivia Popes... where are the Clair Huxtables? No one is asking for a cheesy plot, but why is it that we can expect to see such happiness from our white counterparts but not in ourselves?
Tyler, I have given up on you. You have created a ratchet film formula that has become as one critic called it, "malt liquor for the masses." You are not going to change; you have made millions off of the exploitation of your own people.
And what is even more sad is that perhaps you are the very evil and illusion that becomes your very own stereotypes of black success. A level of selling out and lack of social responsibility that is as reckless as Robbie Jones in Temptation or as mindless and arrogant as Sanaa Lathan in The Family That Preys.
But perhaps, this open letter is for the next aspiring black filmmaker of my generation who aspires to fix that. I know once you read this, you will most likely tell me to "go to hell" just like you told a more talented and thought-provoking director named Spike Lee... but I would suggest that perhaps your buffoonery of motion pictures will go there as well.
Sincerely,
A Successful Young Black Man that will never again buy a ticket to your movie (I won't even watch it bootlegged)
It has been 13 films and eight years of perpetual stereotype. Through the years, I have found myself supporting your movies because you are one of the few consistent black filmmakers in Hollywood. Your films have grossed over $500 million in the box office worldwide and continue to launch television spin-offs and other media based endeavors. Even though Spike Lee, an even better director in my opinion, has critiqued you with good reason, I still had faith that you were adjusting to the business and would progress in your talent.
As I continue to view your work however, I have noticed that you have gotten better actors filling crappier roles for even more godforsaken screenplays. The movies continue to go below the belt and your attention to detail is becoming more minimal. Even your dramatic scenes that are meant to provoke us are being dismissed as farce. What is even more alarming is that as I used to watch your movies as a child and as I am now paying to see them as an adult, the life I strive to live continues to be mocked as a reality doomed for evil and self-destruction. So given your own rags to riches tale of faith and prosperity Mr. Perry, why must you continue to objectify and vilify blacks that strive for success in your films?
In your recent disappointment in cinema, Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor, your leading actress (played by Jurnee Smollett-Bell) get infected with HIV and loses her marriage based on her ambition to overall pursue a better career as a marriage counselor. Given that she is unhappy in her current marriage with an aloof, underachieving husband (that rather her cook dinner every day for him and go to church more to become "a better wife") Smollett-Bell's character is less understood given that she instead pursues a man that matches more of her professional, sexual and intellectual desires. If anything, the unfortunate moral of the story is: the more you aim high, the less happy you are.
Such a pathetic motif continued in your other movies, where in Madea's Family Reunion, successful black actors such as Blair Underwood is a controlling and abusive black attorney who loses his fiancée. Gabrielle Union in Daddy's Little Girls is a snobby uptight Ivy League alum turned attorney who "humbles" herself for a mechanic with previous children. Sanaa Lathan in The Family That Preys plays an educated accountant that is a doomed cheater that is scarred by a white man. Robbie Jones in Temptation is a successful black social media tycoon with HIV that is a womanizer who cheats, beats, stalks, controls and infects the many women around him. And the list goes on...
As for the many falsehoods and fallacies that play out in your movies, the biggest stereotype might just be that with black success come negative atrocities. If it means anything, your films continue to place blacks who aspire to do more be hesitant to achieve such for preconceived consequences will follow.
And what is even worse, is that your films create such a very unrealistic outlook. How many men such as Edris Elba in Daddy's Little Girls who plays a strong hardworking mechanic that takes care of his three daughters are really out there? For most of your films, the women who have fallen from their success in life have two options: either live a more humble life with an underachieving mate or live a lonely one scarred with either disease or unhappiness. In The Family That Preys, Sanaa Lathan was left with nothing while her husband eventually has his own business right after her. In Diary of A Mad Black Woman, Kimberly Elise decides to leave her attorney husband (who was also is, guess it: abusive and controlling) for a nice urban factory worker in her small town.
What disappoints me the most about your films Mr. Perry is that they do not positively reflect the various audiences of blacks that you have aspired to attract. You know, the ones that actually buy the movie tickets to support you. As a man who grew up in an urban environment that is now attending college at a fine Ivy League institution (University of Pennsylvania), I would like to let you know that I am not aspiring to become the controlling, manipulative and reckless psychopath that you continue to depict such men of color in your films. And the hardworking black women who have earned their degrees that stand beside me in these schools do not have to go so far down to their small towns to find a good man... they are also right here as well. And furthermore, as you find solace in trying to unrealistically characterize the street behavior of such men in your movies, you are doing all of us a disservice.
Why does this all matter? Because for all my life, I have yet to really see consistent movies with educated black couples in a real relationship. I know they exist because I see them in my own families and those of my friends. I am aware of broken homes as well, but that is not the entire narrative. As we see more intelligent women become, for better or worse, Olivia Popes... where are the Clair Huxtables? No one is asking for a cheesy plot, but why is it that we can expect to see such happiness from our white counterparts but not in ourselves?
Tyler, I have given up on you. You have created a ratchet film formula that has become as one critic called it, "malt liquor for the masses." You are not going to change; you have made millions off of the exploitation of your own people.
And what is even more sad is that perhaps you are the very evil and illusion that becomes your very own stereotypes of black success. A level of selling out and lack of social responsibility that is as reckless as Robbie Jones in Temptation or as mindless and arrogant as Sanaa Lathan in The Family That Preys.
But perhaps, this open letter is for the next aspiring black filmmaker of my generation who aspires to fix that. I know once you read this, you will most likely tell me to "go to hell" just like you told a more talented and thought-provoking director named Spike Lee... but I would suggest that perhaps your buffoonery of motion pictures will go there as well.
Sincerely,
A Successful Young Black Man that will never again buy a ticket to your movie (I won't even watch it bootlegged)
April 7, 2013
WHAT SHE SAID...AND HOW SHE READS...QUAD FROM MARRIED TO MEDICINE....
Re-phrasing one of my favorite songs “The girls all paused when I walked into the room.” But, in the interest of time, let’s get right down to business.
It seems that Miss Kari can’t stand being in the hot seat. Well, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. The pictures of Kari when she was younger showed that she was blessed by Mother Nature but, looking at her now it’s clear that she has been cursed by Father Time.
Kari’s fashion sense: I really don’t want to discuss it, but, since I have this blog and this Bravo platform, I will. In one scene we saw Kari and Toya going to lunch. Mid-day sequins. Really? It looks like she should be turning vowels on Wheel of Fortune. If you were Toya’s true friend you would enroll her in a grammar class or two. #VannaWhiteimposter #VannaWhiteknockoff #pseudofriends #commoncause
Kari is a liar and the truth isn’t in her! She’s as fake as her face.
And speaking of Toya’s grammar or lack there of: “Most easiest.” Girl you are really making the University of Phoenix look bad! “Siz-zar” (Czar)??? Whaaatttt? Who says that?
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”– Abraham Lincoln
And she’s calling me ghetto? We will let the viewers decide who is ghetto. #TeamQuadbackup
Now that I’ve nipped that in the bud, can someone please provide Toya a set of brakes for her eyes so, they can stop rolling? #silenceisgolden
I’m going to take the high road. Toya, in an effort to provide community service to you and those who are infected or impacted by your ignorance I have done some research. The Emory University Continuing Education Department is offering a class called “Good Grammar is Good Business.” It meets every Tuesday at 9:00 am, and the focus is on confusing words.
#hookedonphonics #Dr.Seuss #readingisfundamental #here’sthelink #signup #Quad’spellgrant
OMG! Tacky Toya is messy boots and now her husband is following in her footsteps. Talking about Mariah while in her house eating her food and drinking her wine. Kids are off limits! Very inappropriate and as a mother she should know better. That back-handed compliment staged by her husband was just wrong! It’s not up to the Harrises to decide when the Huqs should discuss adoption with their daughter. How do they know if she’s emotionally mature to receive that information??? #rude #disrespectful #lowdown
In the words of Dr. Simone, “I know you are going to reject this.” However I, unlikeDr. Jackie, am sincere in my effort to enlighten, enhance and contribute to your growth. #LionelRichiewearetheworld #blackgirlsrock
Dr. Simone, not “reject” but, please “eject” yourself from my presence. Anytime you allow a mother hen like Dr. Jackie to come into your house and check you, you are truly not the boss. Tony Danza on speed dial…Who’s the Boss? #whogonecheckmeboo, #fakefriends, #frienemy #fastandfurious
Sipping my water and keeping a side eye on Dr. Jackie. #geriatric
Sipping my water and keeping a side eye on Dr. Jackie. #geriatric
April 2, 2013
WHAT HE SAID...SHOUT OUT TO J WILLIAMS.....
For every single person with a negative opinion...for every person who says the most vile things about me online...for all the people who call my ph from different numbers and hang up...for all the stalkers....for the dozen people who have stolen my pictures and are currently impersonating me with fake profiles pretending to be me all over the internet...for all the people who I've shown nothing but love to who talk about me like a dog..to the people who can't stand me who never met me....to the weirdos who email me or text me on a regular basis just to tell me Im goin to hell for what i do for a living...just know that...I Am WINNING!!!! AND I MEAN WINNING MY ASS OFF TOO...MY LIFE IS THE SHIT....But here's the message...while u are focused on me...it is literally impossible for u to do u...u get it...if u spent more time focusing on doin u...u wouldn't be so angry inside...XL's in tunnel vision..Peace.
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