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October 31, 2012

10 WAYS INTELLIGENT PEOPLE BLOW THEIR INTERVIEWS....

The job interview is one of the most crucial components of a job search. In these lean economic times of long-term unemployment and sparse interview opportunities, it can be a make-or-break situation.

With so much at stake, you'd think job seekers would be at their best when they get that rare chance to meet a prospective employer. But many intelligent job seekers don't know, or don't think they need to know, the most basic rules of good interviewing, leading to unnecessary disasters.

One job applicant's blunder, however, is another's opportunity. Job interviewing may not be easy, but it's also not rocket science. It requires a combination of preparation and common sense. Just knowing the 10 most common ways intelligent job seekers blow their interviews will give you a step up in this ultracompetitive job market:

1. Plan? What plan? Many job seekers begin a job search without much advance thought, perhaps due to a recent unpleasant workplace event or a desire to make more money. The absence of a clear-cut professional career plan will be apparent to an alert employer, however, who will judge you as lacking commitment or as simply unsuitable. Even worse, a less observant employer may hire you for the position, which may lead to your entering the wrong next chapter of your career. Know yourself and your fundamental goals before even thinking about a job search.

2. Research is for wimps: Not all companies are alike, and even when they are, employers prefer to believe they're different and special. In fact, many will ask you what you know about the company and the position for which you're interviewing. Try to bluff your way through that question and the interview will be over, even if you haven't realized it yet. You can avoid that dilemma by thoroughly researching the company and job responsibilities ahead of time. That will ensure your ability to come up with a unique and convincing answer.

3. Preparation, schmeparation: You're a bright person and fast on your feet, right? And who knows about your experience better than you, right? So why prepare? Because if you don't, you're going to blow it. There's a difference between knowing something and being able to articulate that information in a concise and engaging manner. Even experienced attorneys who know their cases inside and out will rehearse before they make a final argument to a jury. Smart politicians who know their positions cold will nevertheless prepare for important appearances. Your career -- and your future -- is worth the same amount of effort.

4. Dress for failure: Dress codes in the workplace have taken a dramatic turn toward the informal. That has prompted many a job seeker to assume that "business casual" attire will be just fine for an interview. An employer who pays undue attention to superficial matters such as dress doesn't deserve you anyway, right? Wrong. Dress for an interview as you would for an important meeting, which translates into a suit or jacket and tie for men and the equivalent for women. Even if your interviewer is wearing a Hawaiian shirt and teases you about your attire, he will understand that you suited up as a gesture of respect and are someone who values the opinion of others. In other words, it doesn't hurt to overdress.

5. Busy people are fashionably late: Many otherwise smart job candidates make the mistake of viewing an interview as just another appointment. That mindset tempts them to take the last-minute phone call or gamble that the traffic won't be any heavier than usual. And if you're just a few minutes late, what's the big deal, because it shows you're a busy, important person, right? Wrong. Lack of punctuality is almost always fatal to a candidate's prospects, however qualified she may be and however compelling her excuse for being late. If you're more than one minute late to an interview, you will probably not get the job. The lesson: Plan your commute so that you arrive in the reception area seven to 10 minutes before the interview.

6. Be loud and obnoxious in the reception area: All job interviews start in the reception area. Receptionists serve as the eyes and ears of the employer. In fact, they're often sought out by the interviewers after the candidate has left to learn how he behaved before the meeting. So feel free to be rude to the receptionist. Have that nasty cellphone conversation with the client who isn't paying you. Catch up on your dental flossing while you're waiting. Just don't plan on returning.

7. Find out how much they're willing to pay you: Compensation is almost always one of the key factors an employer or job seeker considers in deciding whether to extend or accept a job offer. So it seems perfectly logical to ask the interviewer how much the position pays. After all, why waste everyone's time if you and the employer are in completely different ballparks? Unfortunately, there are some aspects of job interviews in which social convention trumps common sense, and salary is one of them. A job applicant's question about compensation is one of the reasons most frequently cited by employers for rejecting candidates. So keep your curiosity in check until you get a job offer.

8. Don't ask questions during the interview: There's one thing worse than asking bad questions during an interview: not asking any questions. Many otherwise intelligent job seekers opt not to ask questions during a job interview, even when invited to do so. Ask them why, and they'll tell you they wanted to make a good impression by showing respect for the interviewer and her time. The result, unfortunately, will be exactly the opposite. Employers view job seekers who fail to ask any or more than a few perfunctory questions as lacking interest, enthusiasm or intellectual curiosity. Do your preparation, and walk into the interview with at least 10 open-ended, substantive questions about the company and position.

9. Be spontaneous when answering questions: Job interviews can be as unique as the people and opportunities involved. Still, certain difficult questions come up often. They vary from the straightforward, such as why you're seeking to leave your current job and how much money you're seeking, to the annoying, such as what your weaknesses are, to the truly challenging, such as to describe a recent disagreement you had with a supervisor or co-worker and how you resolved it. You may be the glibbest individual to walk the face of the earth, but fail to plan your answers to the most common and challenging interview questions and you will blow your opportunity. Savvy, intelligent job candidates may in fact need less preparation than their competitors but will prepare twice as hard.
10. Tell amusing war stories: In the classic comedy movie "Airplane," the movie's hero, an airplane passenger on a long flight, insists on telling his long and boring life story to his seatmate. When we next see his companion, she is a skeleton. That's a good image to keep in mind when you go on a job interview. One of the key characteristics of successful people in today's busy, short-attention-span world is the ability to communicate in a clear and crisp manner. Insist on telling war stories or giving super-detailed answers to simple questions, and you may find yourself talking to a skeleton. Opt instead to bone up on your communication skills so that you'll be prepared to answer any question, however complex, in 40 to 60 seconds.

October 30, 2012

WHAT HE SAID....DELONTE WEST....AND WHY HE SAID IT....

“If I’m not what u lookin 4 ….That’s fine…just dont kick me in my ass on the way out the door….I didn’t do anything to deserve that… “I love the city of Dallas..I love playin in the NBA…no I’m not off my meds…no I ain’t on no bipolar trip…this real people lives….And it just ain’t right..imma leave it at that..no ill will towards no one…I’m just sittin here across from the arena wit tear in my eyes.”

The Dallas Mavericks waived troubled guard Delonte West on Monday following his “indefinite” suspension for being a bad influence on the younger players. The Mavs suspended West twice during the 2012 preseason for unspecified reasons.

On Monday, Mavs owner Mark Cuban told the media West could possibly return to the Mavericks lineup after his suspension.

“No decisions have been made one way or another; otherwise we would have made it,” Cuban said. “It’s just a process that’s pretty much down to me making a decision.”
Cuban said he believed in giving troubled players a second chance. “Do you not remember last year?” he said — an obvious reference to troubled forward Lamar Odom, who was cut by the team last season.

DATING....GROW UP ALREADY....

My friend Allen is dating a young lady who he really likes a lot. He believes she could be the one…in a couple of years. Allen says his girlfriend has a little growing up to do. Her lack of maturity is shown when she doesn’t get her way, or handles things with little patience.

As he talked, I thought about how he was the same guy friend that advised me not to date a guy for “potential” but accept him as he is. Now, here we were having the same exact discussion ..and switched places. I asked him what he asked me, “What if she never changes? Could you still be with her?”
Although they are only three years apart in age, when you see Allen with his girlfriend, you can’t help but notice the stark difference in their maturity levels. Ah, but love is blind, right? He does not see what I see, just as I had to learn my lesson for myself.

Would you be willing to wait till someone “grew up” and behaved less like an adolescent? Is that one of those things that should be a dating red flag?
 

How can you tell if the person you are dating are compatible to your maturity level?

WHAT SHE SAID....SHE GOES IN....

CLASSIC...MUSCLES BY LA ROSS AKA"THE BOSS"



I want muscles


All, all over his body

(Make him strong enough)

(From his head down to his toes)

I want muscles

Whoooa-ho-ho, all over his body

All over his

(I want) muscles

All, all, all over his body

(I want) muscles

I want all I can get

All over him, all over him

All over him

(I want) muscles, muscles, muscles...

STILL A CLASSIC ANTHEM FOR THE BOYS....



October 29, 2012

LEARN SOMETHING....YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS....

WHAT SHE SAID.....ZOE SALDANA.....

Zoe Saldana says black actresses who complain about lack of opportunities in Hollywood should get off their butts and stop complaining because America has a black president.

We have a Black president right now,” the actress said in her Ebony cover story. “So why the f— would I sit down and talk about how hard it is for Black women in Hollywood when there’s a Black president in my country?”

And it’s that attitude she says that helps her land her movie roles. “When I go after a part, [people] better watch their backs,” she says. “Not because I’m going to crush everybody, but because I’m going to give the best that I can because I strive for excellence. When you don’t get a part, it is for a reason, and these pieces will fall into place soon.” source

LMAO Is she really this short sighted and completely out of touch? She really needs to be called out on her bullshit.

Read more at ONTD: http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/62508145.html#ixzz2AiXkMHXO

WHAT SHE SAID.....REGARDING ZOE SALDANA PORTRAYING NINA SIMONE....



Dear Zoe,

Before I begin, please know that the majority of my disgust is reserved for Cynthia Mort and Jimmy Iovine. They hold primary responsibility for your casting in the upcoming film "Nina," and that choice symbolizes the utter disregard the film industry has shown for telling the stories of Black women faithfully.

But you're a grown woman, Zoe, and you made the decision to participate in this film despite public objections from Nina's daughter Simone. Of course you owe nothing to me or the thousands of other people of African descent who find your choice to portray Nina disturbing and offensive.

I do wonder how it must feel to research Nina - to read and watch her critiques of racism and white supremacy in American culture - while preparing for a project that reinforces those very things. Quite simply Cynthia Mort, Jimmy Iovine, and yes, you, are not tributing Nina Simone's legacy. You're disrespecting it.

I know enough about the history of Black performance in America to understand that it's not as easy as "just say no" for Black artists. Zoe, I realize that artists, particularly Women of Color artists, must sometimes be opportunists to survive. But artists must also assume culpability for the work they produce, and this work is damaging.

I'm afraid you lack self-awareness. And in truth, feigning ignorance of colorism doesn't help your case. I still can't believe you retweeted this.

omg I just got the petition for someone "blacker" than @zoesaldana to play Nina Simone.. Reverse racism at its best

Perhaps you're just trying to hold on to whatever you can to justify your decision, but no, Zoe, this is not reverse racism. Reverse racism doesn't exist. Black women are not discriminating against you because you are a light-skinned woman. We are expressing our frustration at a racial hierarchy that renders us too unattractive even to represent ourselves. And if we're being honest, you got this role, in part, because of the privilege you've been accorded as a light-skinned Afro-Latina.

That's not to say I don't think you're a talented actress. You most certainly are. In fact, I think you could surprise us with your performance in the film. That doesn't change the fact that you are contributing to the ongoing invisibility of women who cannot remove their deep brown complexions, broad noses, and kinky hair every day after work. This project is a testament to the unconscionable arrogance of white supremacy. By taking part, you've condoned that arrogance.

But ultimately, Zoe, you're just a single actress. Despite your privilege, you're working within a system that exploits you and your image without acknowledging your existence. As the face of a project with many collaborators, you've unfairly become the fall girl. I'm not mad at you. I don't think any of us are. Frankly, I feel more pity than contempt. It's the same way I feel toward minstrel performers who donned black face at the turn of the century or black women actresses who embodied steretypical mammies 60 years ago. Artists do the best with the opportunities they are given.

Few dark-skinned actresses in Hollywood could open a film. That's not your fault. However, in the future, I would caution you from making statements like, "..why the f— would I sit down and talk about how hard it is for Black women in Hollywood when there’s a Black president in my country?” Because even in the United States where Barack Obama is the president, dark skin, kinky hair and African features are still loathed.

I offer this critique in love. I can't say that I hope your movie will be a success; however, I do hope that you will use your growing influence to speak up when confronted with obvious inequality in the future. You don't owe that to us. You owe it to yourself.
Sincerely,

Kimberly Foster
Kimberly Foster is the founder and editor of For Harriet

October 26, 2012

WHAT SHE HAD....LOYAL READERS THOUGHTS ON MADEA AS ALEX CROSS.....I AGREE


I am a fan of your site! I’ve been a loyal reader for years. Keep up the great work!

With that being said, I’ve noticed over the years that you seem to have built a relationship with Tyler Perry. I love that man! Now, I’m not asking for you to hook me up or give me an introduction. LOL I do, however, want you to give him a message.

Can you tell him to leave the serious acting to the true Hollywood stars?

He is tarnishing his reputation by continuing to play these serious roles and doing a piss poor job of it. He failed at Good Deeds and now he’s failed as Alex Cross.
I really enjoy his plays and all of his Madea movies. Can you ask him to stay in his lane, and stop attempting to play roles for which he lacks the skill to portray?
I’m really proud of all his accomplishments, but this attempt to play grimy, gritty roles must stop! He is embarrassing himself. All of the Alex Cross movies have been successful until Mr. Perry filled the role.
It was laughable!

Critics are talking about how poor the script was and underdeveloped, it had to be watered down to accommodate the main character. It was awful! He needs to recognize that he should develop his skills as an actor or just stick to writing and directing. I’m tired of spending my money to support him and being disappointed.

Thanks for your time! I really hope you give him my message.

Read more: http://straightfromthea.com/2012/10/26/fan-mail-tyler-perry-was-laughable-as-alex-cross-photos-video/#ixzz2ARC3BOth

THE REALITIES OF BLACK GAY PORN.....

October 25, 2012

WHY I VOTED FOR MY BLACK PRESIDENT.....THANKS EC...

A white man asked his black friend, 'Are you voting for Barack Obama


just because he's black?' The black man responded by saying, 'Why not?
In this country men are pulled over everyday just cause they're black;

passed over for promotions just cause they're black; considered to be

criminals just cause they're black; and there are going to be thousands

of you who won't be voting for him just because he's black!

However, you do not seem to have a problem with that! This country was

built with the sweat and whip off the black slaves' back, and now a

descendent of those same slaves has a chance to lead the same country,

where we weren't even considered to be people, where we weren't allowed

to be educated, drink from the same water fountains, eat in the same

restaurants, or even vote. So yes! I'm going to vote for him! But it's

not just because he's black, but because he is hope, he is change, and

he now allows me to understand when my grandson says that he wants to be

president when he grows up, it is not a fairy tale but a short term

goal. He now sees, understands and knows that he can achieve, withstand

and do Anything just because he's black!'

WHAT SHE SAID...MISS SOPHIA ABOUT WANDA SMITH....

WHAT HE SAID...COLIN POWELL ENDORSES PRESIDENT OBAMA.....

"When he took over, the country was in very very difficult straits. We were in the one of the worst recessions we had seen in recent times, close to a depression. The fiscal system was collapsing. Wall Street was in chaos, we had 800,000 jobs lost in that first month of the Obama administration and unemployment peaked a few months later at 10 percent. So we were in real trouble. The auto industry was collapsing, the housing was start[ing] to collapse and we were in very difficult straits. And I saw over the next several years, stabilization come back in the financial community, housing is now starting to pick up after four years, it's starting to pick up. Consumer confidence is rising."

"So I think generally we've come out of the dive and we’re starting to gain altitude. It doesn't mean we are problem solved, there are lots of problems still out there. The unemployment rate is too high. People are still hurting in housing. But I see that we are starting to rise up. I also saw the President get us out of one war, start to get us out of a second war and did not get us into any new wars. And finally, I think that the actions he's taken with respect to protecting us from terrorism have been very, very solid. And so I think we ought to keep on the track that we are on."

October 24, 2012

WHO RAN IT...NEW SCHOOL VS. ORIGINAL CLASSIC.....



VS.


LEARN SOMETHING...NEGUS....

Negus (Ge'ez Negus Ge'ez.png, nigūś, Amharic nigūs; cf. Tigrinya ነጋሲ negāsi) is a title in the Afro-Asiatic Ge'ez, Tigrinya, Tigre and Amharic languages.[1] It denotes a King,[2] as the Bahri Negasi of the Medri Bahri Kingdom in pre-1890 Eritrea and the Negus in pre-1974 Ethiopia. 

The title has subsequently been used to translate the word "King" in Biblical and other literature.

October 22, 2012

SEXY IS AS SEXY DOES....SOME SEXY TUESDAY...

FINAL PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE.....IT'S ONNNNN

TEACH PRESIDENT OBAMA!!! It is not the 1920, or the 1950, OR the 1850s.....Governor Romney, please catch up with the times...

The Governor can NOT take this well spoken, well composed, fact quoting African American President....

Epitome of SHARP....SMART, HUMBLE, ARTICULATE, RESPECTABLE AND POLISHED!!!

DONE SO MANY TIMES....BUT THE GREATEST GOES TO...MR. DONNY HATHAWAY....







THAT HOT NEW SHIT....K. COLE...TRUST AND BELIEVE.....


October 19, 2012

IT GOES DOWN IN DC.....30 YR OLD CHEERLEADING COACH HAS 17 YR OLD STUDENTS BABY....

A supervisor for the District's summer jobs program admitted to giving birth to a baby fathered by a high school student with whom she had a months-long affair.

Loni Haggins, 30, who also worked as a teacher's aide and cheerleading coach at Wilson High School in Northwest Washington, pleaded guilty to attempted second-degree sexual abuse of a secondary education student, federal prosecutors announced Tuesday.

Haggins, of Bowie, faces up to a year in prison at her Dec. 14 sentencing. She will be required to register as a sex offender for up to 10 years.

According to prosecutors, Haggins met the 17-year-old boy in 2010, while she was his supervisor in the Mayor's Summer Youth Employment Program at Amidon-Bowen Elementary School.

Shortly after the program ended in August 2010, Haggins began a sexual relationship the youth, prosecutors said. At the time, she was employed at Wilson High School. He was a student at another high school in the District.

She attended the boy's basketball games, picked him up from school, took him to dinner, and routinely bought him shoes, clothes and other items, prosecutors said.

The teacher's aide and student had sex nearly every day, mostly at her home in Bowie but sometimes at the student's home, documents said.

During the holidays, the student brought Haggins home for Thanksgiving dinner and introduced her to his family, police documents said.

The student intended to end the relationship that December, but Haggins told him that she was pregnant with his baby, documents said. He broke up with her the next month but continued to have sex with her until April 2011.

Haggins became pregnant a second time and informed the victim that he was the biological father. She gave birth to a boy in August 2011, and the youth's mother notified police.

Paternity tests confirmed that the teen is the father. Haggins was arrested last month.

October 18, 2012

ARE WE A COUPLE YET OR WHAT???

Perhaps one of the trickiest phase of a new dating relationship is the period right before you consider the other person your “only.” You are not quite at “the talk” phase, yet you are sure you are headed in the right direction.

I think it only gets complicated when one person is thinking “casual” and seeing where things go; while the other person has basically decided that things are already official. When does a relationship actually start, though? It always seems to differ for men, and ladies try to take cues from a guy’s actions, not his words.

When you are engaging in intimate acts, staying at each others home, and spending all your leisure time doing couple things – all these can mean different things to different people.

Do you need to have the official talk and girlfriend/boyfriend label before you recognize that a relationship has started?

Do you think it is something that should be clearly defined or do you prefer to take it as it comes, so to speak?

October 16, 2012

SOMEBODY ALMOST WALKED OFF WITH ALL MY STUFF......

somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff 
not my poems or a dance i gave up in the street
 but somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff

like a kleptomaniac workin hard & forgettin while stealin
 this is mine/this aint yr stuff/
now why don’t you put me back & let me hang out in my own self

somebody almost walked off wit alla my stuff 
& didn’t care enuf to send a note home sayin 
i was late for my solo conversation
 or two sizes to small for my own tacky skirts

what can anybody do wit somethin of no value on
a open market/ did you getta dime for my things/
hey man/ where are you goin wid alla my stuff/
to ohh & ahh abt/ daddy/ i gotta mainline number 
from my own shit/ now wontcha put me back/ & let
 me play this duet/ wit silver ring in my nose/
honest to god/

somebody almost run off wit alla my stuff/ 
& i didnt bring anythin but the kick & sway of it 
the perfect ass for my man & none of it is theirs 
this is mine/ ntozake ‘her own things’/ that’s my name
 now give me my stuff/ i see ya hidin my laugh/ & how i
s it wif my legs open sometimes/ to give me 
some sunlight/ & there goes my love my toes my chewed 
up finger nails/ niggah/ wif the curls in yr hair/
mr. louisiana hot link/

i want my stuff back/
my rhytums & my voice/ open my mouth/ & let me talk ya 
outta/ throwin my shit in the sewar/ this is some delicate 
leg & whimsical kiss/ i gotta have to give to my choice/
without you runnin off wit alla my shit/
now you cant have me less i give me away/ & i waz
doin all that/ til ya run off on a good thing/

who is this you left me wit/ some simple bitch 
widda bad attitude/ i wants my things/
i want my arm wit the hot iron scar/ & my leg wit the
 flea bite/ i want my calloused feet & quik language back
in my mouth/ fried plantains/ pineapple pear juice/ 
sun-ra & joseph & jules/ i want my own things/ how i lived them/
& give me my memories/ how i waz when i waz there/
you cant have them or do nothin wit them/

stealin my shit from me/ dont make it yrs/ makes it stolen/
somebody almost run off wit alla my stuff/ & i waz standin
 there/ lookin at myself/ the whole time 
& it waznt a spirit took my stuff/ waz a man whose 
ego walked round like Rodan’s shadow/ waz a man faster
n my innocence/

waz a lover/ i made too much 
room for/ almost run off wit alla my stuff/
& i didnt know i’d give it up so quik/ & the one runnin wit it/
don’t know he got it/ & i’m shoutin this is mine/ & he dont 
know he got it/ my stuff is the anonymous ripped off treasure
 of the year/

did you know somebody almost got away wit me/
me in a plastic bag under their arm/ me 
danglin on a string of personal carelessness/ i’m spattered wit
 mud & city rain/ & no i didnt get a chance to take a douche/
hey man/ this is not your perogative/ i gotta have me in my
 pocket/ to get round like a good woman shd/ & make the poem
in the pot or the chicken in the dance/

what i got to do/
i gotta get my stuff to do it to/
why dont ya find yr own things/ & leave this package 
of me for my destiny/ what ya got to get from me/
i’ll give it to ya/ yeh/ i’ll give it to 

ya/
round 5:00 in the winter/ when the sky is blue-red/
& Dew City is gettin pressed/ if it’s really my stuff/
ya gotta give it to me/ if ya really want it/ i’m 
the only one/ can handle it

UNIVERSITY OF MISS CROWNS FIRST BLACK HOMECOMING QUEEN....

 

Times have certainly changed! First America elects a half black man as president of the United States, and now a black woman has been chosen Homecoming Queen at the University of Mississippi! “I am still in shock, but I am definitely very excited,” said Courtney Pearson, a 21 yr. old senior English secondary education major. 

Ole Miss has a long history of racism on its storied campus, where students still proudly affix confederate flag stickers to their bumpers.

October 15, 2012

DESTINY....

 Destiny has two ways of crushing us -- by refusing our wishes and by fulfilling them.

October 14, 2012

IT'S CUFFING SEASON....


Thank goodness for the internet! I am now fully aware of what the official urban dictionary definition of cuffing season:

During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.

Didn’t know there was a new term for this. Honestly, when I heard cuffing season my mind went straight to the gutter (I’m awful, I know). But I digress; this cuffing season is one of those double-edged swords. It can be good or it can be really bad. What happens in the spring? Will your cuffing boo suddenly start to look less appealing with the change in seasons?

This just proves how fickle dating can be. You could be excited about someone for a couple of months and things get hot and heavy. Then out of nowhere, you look up and find the person has become bored, gone to the next victim. They may even pull that oh so lovely disappearing act – my personal favorite maneuver (NOT).

Do you ever think that people you are pursuing or dating are only interested in you to keep them warm in the fall or winter? How do you know if they are planning on sticking around?

I AM NOT YOUR EX....FROM THE WISE DIVA...


Full disclosure: I just received the coolest book about men to review. I mean, it is literally chocked full of revealing things about the male mind – appropriately titled, “WTF are Men Thinking?”

Admittedly, the title alone won me over. I couldn’t wait to dig in to get a glimpse of what 250,000 men think on topics that women are curious about. One question that struck a nerve with me almost instantly: “Does he compare me to her?”.

Now, listen fellas. Here is my PSA: A lot of women have to deal with their own insecurities from time to time. If you constantly compare us to your last chick or bring up your first wife, there will be problems.
Have you ever had this issue? If someone compares you to their ex, does that mean they are still in love with them?

Is it natural to compare your last relationship? When do you think it is appropriate to do so, and in what context?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

October 12, 2012

DUAL MEANINGS....

Funny how words have different meanings based on the person BUT mean the same thing....especially for Black Men in Corporate America....how many of us have heard these phrases...

Reserved VS. Unapproachable

Passionate VS. Aggressive

Dedicated VS. Obsessed

Proud or confident VS. Arrogant

Thought Provoker VS. Trouble maker/starter

October 11, 2012

WORD OF THE DAY....HYPERGAMY

Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is the act or practice of seeking a spouse of higher looks, socioeconomic, caste or status than oneself.

The term is often used more specifically in reference to a perceived tendency among human cultures for females to seek or be encouraged to pursue male suitors that are higher status than themselves, which often manifests itself as being attracted to men who are comparatively older, wealthier or otherwise more privileged than themselves.

According to evolutionary psychologists, females have evolved a preference for higher status males because they offer their prospective children both "better" genes and greater resources, e.g. food and security. Men, who invest less in their children, have less reason to prefer mates with high social status. Some have even argued that men "marry-down" to ensure that their mates have a higher incentive to remain faithful.[3]

 The word "hypogamy" typically refers to instances of the inverse occurring: marrying a person of lower social class or status

GAY KAPPA WEDDING CAUSES CONTROVERSY....


October 10, 2012

THE (NEW) SKILLS YOU NEED TO SURVIVE IN SALES....

The practice of business-to-business selling is in a curious state. On the one hand, commentators and academics are repeatedly telling us that transactional selling is outmoded and that relational selling is the 'new normal.' On the other hand, most businesses are operating with traditional models of salesperson recruitment and training. The American Society for Training and Development (ASTD) estimates that in the U.S., $15 billion is spent per year on sales training. However, many salespeople find the training they receive either ineffective or less than useful. Given the importance of skills and capabilities to sales performance, businesses need to reconsider who they recruit into sales roles, and how they train them.

Put simply, we all we tend to recruit people like ourselves. This in turn means that existing cultures, styles and modes of behavior tend to perpetuate themselves. Trouble is, business-to-business selling has been undergoing a revolution. Traditional sales methods are increasingly unproductive. In fact, aggressive sales styles and product-focused selling are now so outdated that some customers are simply refusing to meet with salespeople using these techniques. These customers find it more pleasant and more efficient to order online, and who can blame them? Information about product and service features is increasingly available online, so sales people find themselves in front of well-prepared customers. In this situation, focusing on product features in the sales meeting is a waste of everyone's time. In fact, there is plenty of evidence that high-performing sales people are those who listen and respond, who are flexible, and who think in terms of developing a solution to an emerging customer problem. 

To find out what kind of people succeed in sales, and the kinds of skills they need to have, we carried out interviews with thought leaders in selling and sales management in the U.S. and the U.K. These included top sales leaders in major corporations, leading academics who have published in the sales field, and senior practitioners within sales associations or research-oriented sales consultancies. 

Our research confirmed a growing trend: Salespeople today need to engage in collaboration with the customer but also increasingly with their own organization. Good selling is about transcending the customer-facing role and becoming an internal change agent as well. 

Our thought leaders identified two major drivers for this change: the use of technology, and changes in customer demands. Increased use of technology, they told us, means that online channels are substituting for traditional face-to-face meetings, and CRM systems are providing new insights into customers. On the customer side, our informants talked about ever-increasing customer expectations and more emphasis on return on investment and value. Our analysis revealed four categories of skills and capabilities that sales people need in this new environment: Commercial, Relational, Managerial, and Cognitive.

Commercial skills and capabilities are about financial insight, business acumen and customer insight — specifically, insight beyond what the customer has articulated. In complex relational sales, customers expect business-to-business sales people to act as business consultants and demonstrate a broad strategic understanding of their organization and the impact on the customer's bottom line of the solutions they sell.

Relational skills and capabilities include the ability to manage multi-level, multifunctional relationships, to understand relational dynamics and to inspire trust. Across all the research we have done in sales and Key Account Management, trust is repeatedly cited by customers as important in their selection of a supplier. 

Managerial skills and capabilities needed by people in sales roles include people management skills (because so much business-to-business selling is now done in teams and cross-functionally); high ethical standards and integrity (growing customer demands in relation to corporate social responsibility and ethics are changing selling behaviors); openness to change and adaptability; and influencing skills.

Cognitive skills and capabilities include innovative problem solving; the ability to identify opportunities; the ability to work under pressure; and mental toughness and resilience. These cognitive skills are important in a consultative selling role because the best future sales opportunities may be found within existing customers, not necessarily within new customers, and the sales person needs the skills to recognize and develop these opportunities.

These skills and capabilities identified by our thought leaders have some clear consequences for the recruitment and training of sales people in business-to-business consultative selling roles. Look again at the four elements: traditional selling skills are conspicuous by their absence. In fact, the people best fitted to these new sales roles may not necessarily be people from a sales background. Instead, we see more people from technical or operations backgrounds such as project management, R&D, or supply chain moving into sales. They can be particularly adept at problem-solving and cross-functional working. Perhaps we should talk not about 'sales people' but about 'people in a sales role.'

This broader view of the sales professional has implications not just for sales recruitment ("who"), but also for training and development ("what" and "how"). People in a sales role need a broad general management development that focuses on commercial, relational, managerial and cognitive capabilities. Sales leaders, HR directors and CEOs need to ask some tough questions about how their organization is training its sales people to develop these vital elements. Those responsible for commissioning, designing and/or delivering sales training must ensure that programs move beyond task-related knowledge and skills and emphasize a fuller range of general management competencies that are needed to manage increasingly complex markets and business relationships.

October 8, 2012

DEFINITION OF THE DAY PLUS OLD SCHOOL MUSIC.....GIVE UP THE GHOST....

Give up the ghost- to stop trying to do something because you know that you will not succeed

DATING....THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY....

Most of us have someone from our past who we regret letting go. It’s probably something that nags you from time to time. Thinking about all the what ifs: What if I wasn’t such a crappy boyfriend/girlfriend? What if I had not been a selfish jerk with commitment issues? Perhaps you feel as if there is some unfinished business between the two of you.

Is it a good idea to try and go rekindle things with the one that got away? One of my friends recently connected with a guy who considered her the one that got away. It wasn’t long before he told her that he never stopped loving her and wanted to give their relationship another shot. However, with so much time since they were last together, what are the chances another try would stick this time? Would you be open and willing to the idea?

When you think about how much we grow and change over the time (hopefully for the better?), is it possible to actually reconnect with someone from your past and make it work?

Do you have someone who is on your short list of regrets? Do you ever wonder if they are still available?



WHICH ONE IS HOTTER???

OR

October 6, 2012

BOOTY CALL GUIDELINES 2012....

Here are the Booty Call Guidelines:

1) No Strings Attached
2) No Sleepovers -- unless it was very good and we want to repeat in the morning
3) No Baby Talk - however Dirty talk is encouraged
4) No emotional discussions where this is heading or potential love
5) No Calls before 8pm -- we have nothing talk about before then unless we are meeting for a quickie
6) No Questions about each others past especially current marital status
7) Do not talk about Ex's

October 5, 2012

DEFINITION OF SHADY....LEARN SOMETHING....

YOU FIGHT SHADE WITH SHADE

SHADE IS SLICK

SHADE IS SLY

IT IS QUIET AND UNDERHANDED

LIKE A THIEF IN THE THICK OF THE NIGHT...

THE POINT IS TO GET YOUR APONENT RILED UP AND UPSET.....

LISTEN BELOW....

DEFINITION OF THE DAY.....NO TEA, NO SHADE

I'm not trying to come for you or offend you, but this is what its really like.

A phrase you add at the beginning or the end of a sentence that can be seen as negative to somebody, but its not supposed to be, and just stating the obvious.



HE SAID, HE SAID....MARLON WAYANS TO FRANK OCEAN....

When Ocean tweeted that the Wayans brothers were “some uncle toms,” Marlon Wayans, left, responded with a tweet of his own: “and that would make you aunt jemima?,” he wrote.

Marlon Wayans, 40, and his brother Shawn, 41, are known for their comedic roles in movies such as “White Chicks” and the “Scary Movie” franchise.





WHAT SHE SAID....NICKI MINAJ TO THE BRAT.....

CLASSIC MUSIC....FOR THE GROWN AND SEXY.....

SOME FRIDAY FUNNY....ENJOY!!

October 4, 2012

ARE ALL SINGLE GAY MEN BITTER??


There are a few words that are routinely thrown around when describing characters in the black gay dating scene. Single, bitter and jaded are a few of them. Unfortunately, these characteristics are easier to find than an Atlanta party promoter.
As a mid-20-something year-old black gay man trying to date while maneuvering through socialnetworking sites like Jack’d, drunken nights at the bar leading to early mornings and missed connections at the gas station, I still believe that love is a beautiful thing and we can learn a lot by allowing that special someone into our lives. Being back on the dating scene, I have met so many guys who have a hard time admitting deep down inside what they’re looking for in a relationship. These guys use the phrase “just looking for friends” as a mechanism to deflect that they are looking for more than just friends, but are afraid to take that dive into commitment. It pisses me off to hear so many of us giving up on love at such a young age. Quite frankly, it’s a total turn off when I meet someone with that philosophy. Putting negative energy out there definitely does not encourage me to get to know you more.
Don’t get me wrong: I still don’t believe that marriage is for everyone (gay, straight or bi). However, I don’t think that anyone who does not want to be in committed relationship can do so. Monogamy for two men can be a gamble if both men aren’t totally committed to it. But it does seem like there is a trendy disdain about romance in our community that seems buried in pungent scars from being burned in the past by trifling negroes.
Too often we get consumed by mantras like “all men are dogs” or “gays cannot be faithful.” The lack of real examples of what a successful gay relationship looks like contributes to this paradigm. Even after taking a quick evaluation of my friends and their relationships, I wouldn’t define many of their situations as  ideal or something I long for; however, it’s not my relationship to be in or to judge.
History alludes to a very telling story of black men having difficulty learning how to love and cope in society. Since our journey across the Middle Passage, these effects on the black family have led to the blurred absence of good black men. The outcomes have led to more black men in prison, lower high school graduation rates and even emotional inconsistencies. During the time when slave masters began breeding curly-haired mixed babies or when Papa was a rolling stone, examples of a good black man quickly became a fairy tale.  Imagine two guys from this lineage trying to make things work. Shit gets difficult; but if relationships were that easy, we all would be in one and there would be no need for this post. You’re not going to get it right on the first, second or third try.
We all carry baggage from past and current relationships. We all come with tons of anecdotes full of heartbreak and pain. Telling yourself that you’re not going to put it all out there or you’ve given up on love is not fooling anyone but yourself. If you don’t want a relationship, why go through the motions of connecting with someone? Although stating your intentions are only to have sex can carry negative connotations within itself, if you’re looking for more and not honest with yourself – or him – that’s all you deserve.
Most of us fall victim to not looking for what we want but what to the other person wants. If he says he’s looking for a fuck buddy, we have no problem becoming that while denying ourselves of so much more. We forgo and hide our desires because we don’t put our own interests first. Taking a backseat to your heart will only keep you riding around aimlessly in the passenger seat while someone is doing all the driving for us – and the gas is too damn high.
If you like someone, there is no reason in running. I know that trying to create a good balance to show you’re interested is hard because you don’t want to turn the person off; however, starting with ideas of failed relationships and anti-love doesn’t make it easier. Don’t bamboozle yourself into thinking that it is going to draw someone closer to you because it will not. A man wants to know you are interested and engaged, not trying to overcome barriers of mending your broken heart. Too much disconnection will only motivate him to connect with someone else – no pun intended.
So you want to live the life of being a single, bitter black gay man? Be cautious because you will block someone from loving you.
Though desperation is never a good look on anyone, I never understood why so many gays have negative feelings towards those who are still in search of the perfect mate. At the end of the day, we all deserve someone to love. I know I feel great when I am wanted and have someone in my corner. More than that, it feels amazing knowing where my next piece of guaranteed ass is coming from.

http://www.musedmagonline.com/2012/10/are-all-single-black-gay-men-bitter/

NOTE TO NICK MINAJ....PLEASE LEARN....

WHAT HE SAID....CHRIS BROWN....

“I have decided to be single to focus on my career. I love Karrueche very much but I don’t want to see her hurt over my friendship with Rihanna,” Brown said in a statement. “I’d rather be single allowing us to both be happy in our lives.”




October 2, 2012

WHAT HE SAID....TYLER PERRY.....

As I sit here in Atlanta, it’s raining an abundant rain. It makes me think of my mother. She loved the rain and I do too. It is befitting that this announcement would be made on a day like today. Yes it’s true, Oprah and I have joined forces. We’ve formed a partnership for OWN and I’m super excited about it. I’ll fill you in more as we get closer to the airing of my shows. I have a lot of questions for you about this, so stay close, OK? I need your help